Boyfriend drives me crazy sometimes, advice?

[sarahhouse]

Heres the deal.I love my boyfriend, he is amazing. NO doubt about that. But he drives me crazy sometimes...I understand you can't change a guy, I get that, I get that big time. But girls, do you have some strategy or a way or something to make them at least TUNE DOWN on their annoying habits? My guy leaves ashtrays (FULL) on the table for hours eaven though he KNOWS the smell makes me sick (physicly sick), and no matter how many times I remind him of that, next rtime its the same story. YOu know, stuff like that. I hate to be a nagg so can you help me? Please...

[paperplanes]

Put the ashtray on his pillow or something. lol. I'm actually being serious too. That's something he wouldn't like, just as you don't so maybe he'll start being serious about it. It's a little childish, but I'd do those kind of things anyway.

React calmly but firmly to things you don't like, but be reasonable. Maybe change your way of approaching it, so he'll be more likely to change. Reward him for doing good things.. lmao. I'm getting onto classical conditioning in psychology. He's not a dog. XD But, maybe.

Don't associate telling him what not to do with something negative. Let the message stick in a productive way.

[sarahhouse]

Hahaha. nice one :))

[wrenlgr]

I agree with paperplanes. You shouldn't have to put up with stuff like that, especially since it makes you sick. If he really cares about you, he should make some effort to make you happy. And if he doesn't seem like he gives a crap, that's a serious red flag and you should give him an ultimatum. Make sure he's worth you :)

[Apodyopsis]

You could try emptying them yourself. Sacrifice isn't THAT bad you know. Just accept the fact that he's not gonna do it.

[whateverdude]

simple either give him the ultimatum to stop smoking or breakup. that's an awful habbit who wants to make out with a big smoker...plus if it leads to marriage that what you have to iss someone who smells like smoke even if you love the guy that sux. worst habbit. id take a slob who doesn't pick up his clothes than a smoker. ya give him an ultimatum which I'm sure you will not do but ud b surprised that hell stop. bonus hell have a healthier life for both of u.

[sarahhouse]

Yeah, I know that and YOU know that, but HE :))))HE is the problem :)))

[Anonymous]

Here's an idea... just dump the ashtray out yourself. Tuning down is still changing.

[sarahhouse]

EVERY TIME?! So, basicly ejat you are saying is: shut up and clean after him?! Because its nor just the ashtray, its bunch of other stuff like that...

[Ezmotts]

Talk to him about it or empty it yourself.

[sarahhouse]

I don't want to empty it myself, if it was the other way around-WOULD HE DO IT?! The answer is NO! Basicly:clean up after youself!If I can put up with you disgusting habit, THAT IS KILLING US BOTH, the keast you can do is clean up after yourself. I just don't know how to get that, that all.