Can we talk about how attractive it is when a man doesn’t just ‘help out,’ but takes initiative at home without being asked?

[MzAsh]

That’s the kind of energy that builds marriages, not just relationships.

[HawkPerception]

If a man lives alone, he already does all of that himself. Hopefully when he gets into a relationship with a girl, she does her share of the chores around the house. Personally though, I don't look forward to moving in with a girl, because I don't like her getting on my ass about stuff that I don't think are a big deal.

If there are dishes in the sink and would rather handle them the next, I don't want a girl giving me shit.

Apparently beds are actually better if they're NOT made as they become a breeding ground for bacteria, fungi, and other vermin, so a girl better not give me shit on that.

Vacuuming also doesn't need to be done every day or even every week. More like once a month or whenever there's shit on the floor that needs to be cleaned up. Not just vacuuming for the sake of vacuuming.

Also, I do the garbage in a timely fashion and cook all my own meals (no, I'm not talking about scrambled eggs or a steak. I'm talking about actual recipes). It's usually rare for me to find a girl that cooks more than I do.

So honestly, I don't see any benefits to living with a girl. They're just potential harassment about chores and wanting to change the aesthetic of my place with their shit.

[MzAsh]

Why don’t you trust yourself to pursue a woman who doesn’t do all that?

[Shiprex]

Why would a guy do that?

[MzAsh]

Why would he be a competent adult you mean?

[Shiprex]

Pursuing women doesn't make a man an adult. Making a decision NOT to pursue is adult. Following prescribed expectations and "chasing" those who want to be chased in some toxic romanticised notion of humanity is just blind thoughtless adherence to traditional norms and NOT thinking for oneself

[MzAsh]

I mean pursuing a woman properly to the point where he’s pursuing women who don’t nag. And I agree that women shouldn’t nag, because they shouldn’t have to, because men should stay on their toes about dishes and vacuuming. If he’s not doing those things, he needs to be divorced, not nagged.

[Shiprex]

Why should it be staying on your toes? Why should men's standards be ignored because a woman's are different? If YOU think the dishes aren't build up enough to be washed because it's wasteful to wash 3 dishes when you're about to have a meal and create more and thus have to wash again then why should they be washed RIGHT NOW? Same with vacuuming, who decides it's time to vacuum? WOMEN? They're standard of when and how? How about letting MEN do things THEIR way instead of manipulating them and ignoring the standards THEY have for things. Bullying them by hinting or nagging is sign that women have seen something THEY want done but won't do it because they want MEN to do it FOR THEM to feel satisfied men have fulfilled their purpose to SATISFY THEIR desires (not NEEDS because dishes and dust won't kill you.

[MzAsh]

The issue isn’t about “ignoring men’s standards,” it’s about having mutual standards. If two adults are sharing a space, they need to agree on what “clean” looks like, not play a tug-of-war over whose threshold for filth wins.

If a man’s version of “helping” is waiting until dishes are growing legs and the floor’s turned into a biohazard before lifting a finger, then no, his standard isn’t being ignored, it’s just not compatible with mine. And that’s valid. Compatibility matters more than martyrdom.

The problem isn’t dishes. It’s initiative. It’s responsibility. It’s showing up for the life you share without needing constant prompting. That’s what being a partner looks like.

And as for the whole “women manipulate men into doing things for them” narrative? Nah. In healthy relationships, we agree on the responsibilities and handle them. If he doesn’t want to? Cool. He can go live as a dingle man in a man cave where the dishes pile up to heaven and nobody’s there to “nag.”

But over here, we hold standards, not grudges. If he can’t meet them, he’s free to go find someone who’s cool with moldy forks and crusty floors. I won’t be offended.

[Shiprex]

If the problem is initiative and YOU see (you tend to make things personal so we can go there now) they need to be done then WHY not take the initiative and do them? If YOU think it is dusty in the house why not take the initiative and clean the dust? Your own logic seems to work against you and like I said elsewhere if women REALLY valued men they'd be as keen to put men as householders as men are fine about women doing it BUT women generally disrespect a man who would seek that as a lifestyle because that isn't masculine enough and the parts of the "Patriarchal" system that make their lives better they want to keep but don't want to give up the parts they had the power of. The responsibility aspect is interesting because men are generally less anal about household standards and end up HAVING to follow women because women want spick and span space THEY control. Ask any man with a woman who runs the home and you know the answer, that answer hasn't changed in generations and feminists know it but won't teach women to be less demanding.

[MzAsh]

If I see it needs to be done and I have the time and energy, I do it. Relationships aren’t about one person always bending because the other’s “standards are lower.” That’s not compromise, that’s code for deadweight.

You want to know why men end up following women’s lead on housework? Because the women are the ones who notice, organize, manage, and act. Meanwhile, too many men play the “I didn’t see it” or “it’s not that bad” card like it’s a personality trait. If you live in the damn house, you have eyes. Use them.

Now let’s talk lifestyle. You say women “disrespect” men who choose to stay home. Not this woman. I’m the breadwinner. I work a full-time job, run a business, and freelance too. My husband works fewer hours, so the bulk of the house stuff is his lane. That’s what works for us. And no, I’m not “nagging” or “controlling” we have clear expectations. He agreed to them. He follows through. That’s what adults do.

You don’t get to sit back and say, “Well, I wouldn’t clean yet,” when your partner is working triple the hours and paying the bills. If you’re not making six figures and earning enough for your woman to stay home, maybe don’t whine when she expects you to pick up a vacuum and act like a grown man. After all, I don’t get say “we’ll rent not being paid this month isn’t that bad.” One needs to go to work every day to see to it the bills stay paid just as dutifully as the bourse needs to be kept clean on a daily basis.

[Shiprex]

There's the thing if men DIDN'T FOLLOW (indicating an unfair power imbalance IN THE HOME/SAFE SPACE for men AND the workplace where they aren't allowed to be their authentic selves and VENT how THEY CHOOSE they are having to follow WOMEN'S IDEALS be like us or you're not valid or acceptable).
Insistingng on personalising it makes it difficult to not be rude but YOU should have let him have HIS standards for homeliness but I suspect it's YOUR standards he's meeting and YOUR setting them for his tasks to do.
If he thinks it's not that bad ACCEPT IT don't force YOUR values, THATS CONTROL and coercive when you nag.

[Shiprex]

You've said it without realising how you and women have taken and coerced men into YOUR/THEIR way of being FEMINISING men, male girlfriends by only being accepted if they MAKE WORKPLACES for women (men can enter but on WOMEN'S standards and at home where is her way or the highway. That's NOT RECIPROCATION.
Mango to work, get told to do this, then return home and AGAIN GET TOLD TO DO THAT only this time it's ALSO HOW SHE WANTS IT done.

[Shiprex]

There's no respite for men from the rat race, no peace. Their standards are irrelevant., ignored they have to fit in to women's wants

[MzAsh]

It’s funny how me saying “we agreed on standards” somehow spiraled into “men have no safe space.” That’s a stretch.

If a man doesn’t like the setup in his relationship or his job, he’s free to leave. No one’s holding him hostage. Adults renegotiate, voice their concerns or walk away. What they don’t do is stay, stew in resentment, and blame women for having preferences.

In my case, my husband and I have an agreement. He’s not some beaten down househusband being forced into my standards. In fact, he’s more organized than I am. He likes structure, and he takes pride in how we run our home. That’s his choice. If he ever didn’t want that, also his choice.

The real issue here isn’t about dishes or dust. It’s that some men interpret shared responsibility as loss of autonomy. If being expected to contribute like a grown adult feels like “coercion,” maybe it’s not the women who need adjusting.

You want peace? Choose a partner you align with. You want freedom? Live alone. But don’t call collaboration “feminization” just because you’re not the one calling all the shots.

I’m not forcing anything. I’m holding a standard. If that standard doesn’t work for someone, they’re free to go. It’s that simple. And frankly, the fact that some men find that threatening says a lot more about them than it does about me.

[Shiprex]

So changes to workplaces that were for "inclusion" that meant culture and conditions were no longer as safe and comfortable that were imposed thanks to sensitivities of newcomers, mean incumbents have to quit because their views weren't ever taken into account and the concerns raised prior to the imposition of such "Inclusions" results in losing careers? All because women can't or wouldn't adapt to men's workspaces and used HR to force men's work spaces to feminise so they could have control over those spaces?
And that's Not about supremacy?
Personalising it doesn't make your case any stronger it only opens up opportunities for people to be rude

[MrOracle]

That's true, but it goes both ways.

My girlfriend often has something for me to do, but I sometimes find things wrong/broken/in need of maintenance on my own so I just take care of it. I've done a bunch of upgrades to her little place (she rents an in-law unit), and I take care of her car.

She will cook food, do laundry, bring me some water when I'm working on something, etc. We each do things to make the other's life better.

That said, there are weeks when I work 30 hours, and weeks when I work 70 hours. She understands the difference and knows that I may defer things on busy weeks and catch up on slower ones. Having reasonable expectations goes a long way.

Last weekend I changed her front brakes, flushed and replaced the brake fluid in the entire system, and rotated the tires. She didn't really know those things needed done, and used to drive her car until it wouldn't work for whatever reason (she hates to drive and does so as little as possible). Her oil is now changed on time, and whatever other maintenance is taken care of, so she only has to occasionally put gas in it.

A few weeks ago, I replaced 9 power outlets that were old and so worn out that plugs would fall out. They now have 6 commercial-grade outlets and 3 outlets with built-in USB chargers - 65W models that can charge her laptop, not just her phone.

She didn't ask for any of that, I just took care of it because I could. Now her stuff actually charges reliably whereas before, the chargers would fall out unless she propped something in front of it. She would sometimes wake up with a dead phone that she expected to be fully charged. That sucked!

[Coden7]

In all it’s basically boils down to a communication issue and experience that impacts our personal priorities. I have the mindset that if I discover something needs to be done, I’ll get it done my way. And if she discovers something needs to be done, she should do it her way. And if either of us need to extend our discovered need to the other, it should be okay for them to do it their way.

[NordicInScandinavia]

I know I'm thrilled that I'm with an adult who doesn't need a step by step instructions on how to take care of the home and himself.

I don't have to do my part, and then spend energy, reminding him on doing his (it did happened a couple of times in the beginning of the relationship but he swore to not be like his dad), he knows how to both clean and cook without supervision.

I'm with an adult, see a couple of my friends with partners and they need that little step by step instructions, if they don't get a list - nothing will happen. Then when they've not done shit, and get reminded to do their part - the counterpart is just "nagging" or "controling".

Luckily, again, I'm with an adult who's standards are living in a clean house, eat a well balanced diet and so on. It's a huge turn on knowing I'm not raising a man child.

[chocolatetwopointo]

the bar is literally in hell.

[itsannalee]

It can be attractive to if the woman helps to provide the family without being asked. Everything is have to be balanced.


Some people just do their job, like woman work home and the man works out side to provide the family. But if both are working outside to provide the family, yeah the man should just helping to do housework as well.

[itsannalee]

#too

[Summeroflove]

This is what people men or women should be doing but a lot of people just expect someone else to do everything for them. Now if a woman is a stay at home mom whose not doing anything around the house besides nagging and complaining that’s one thing. But if both people work full time jobs yet the woman’s expected to do most the housework it’s not really fair.

A relationship should be a give as well as take. It should be a partnership not one person doing everything and unless being asked you don’t help with anything. There are women like this too some people just never think about it others are narcissistic.

[ohsheeT]

I never understood that I've been on my own since I was 16 all most 17 and why wouldn't yo pick up after ourself do your dishes wash your clothes dust mop the floor clean the bath room wash your car paint the kitchen bath room look if you see that it needs to be done do it don't leave it for your spouse. That's so rude.

[princeofromance]

A man who does this is a true gentleman.

[michalpl00]

Dad doesn’t take initiative and doesn’t help around the house according to my mom… But the problem is that my mom is such a control freak that it’s impossible to take control for others. She will bite you if you try to do something because she wants to do it but then complains that no one helps around the house. She makes such chaos that no one in the house can do anything. My dad obviously gave up if someone is up your throat all the time then you shut down. Funny thing is that my dad does help around the house but its never enough for my mom. She is constantly doing something thinking that if she doesn’t do something nothing will be done. Which is not true. My dad is just normal i think that my mom is unwell with this control thing. So to be fair my dad would have to be even more controlling for her to be satisfied. But it still wouldn’t, nothing would. She would want control. So she is just an unhappy person. So it depends on your personality. My dad told me to just listen to her just like he does. I was like hell no. I stand my ground. She has no control over me. If she allows me to lead at home i will. She is a tyrant. Its her way or no way. Narcissistic behavior. I think women need to allow room for men to lead. If a woman has need for control she will challenge the man all the time until he gives up because men want peace at the end of the day. I would leave such woman. These are the type of women that say that the man must handle them. I don’t want to handle anything. I want peace like every man out there.

[midnightmoon05]

Yup!! That’s what I am seeming in modern women! I work with 98% women… they are mostly what you described. A bunch of control freaks.
One just got married and complains that she has to cook every day… I say why but true turn… she said… he is not going to MY kitchen! Well… guess what… these women are raising kids who can’t do anything… because the mom is a control freak…
That was my ex mother in law.
My ex couldn’t even have a word out… he grunts to acknowledge her… so messed.

[michalpl00]

All very true what you said I feel totally paralyzed at home because of my mother. But for some reason i become independent and confident when I am away from her. It has been hard on my mental health honestly. My ex was just like my mother. But I was able to spot that early on while she was love bombing me. My mom has programmed me my whole life to have no boundaries with women. To be weak and be a pushover. But now I have a hypersensitivity to manipulation and these kinds of people. Especially after my ex. I realized that my best friend was also controlling and had to cut him out after 7 years unfortunately. When I did that he actually became furious like crazy mad. Which was not proportional to the situation because I told him I need some time alone after the break up. He insulted me, made fun of me, invaded my space. So it just confirmed that he was like that too. He consistently sends me texts trying to get me to react. I just go silent. But this is only transformational for me. Growth comes with pain. The pain is way worse for people who are unaware of this are become victims.

[midnightmoon05]

I see that you have learned to avoid these situations.
It would be best if you can heal up and be able to “deal” with or speak up in a way that they respect you.

The path you have walked through, have been a learning curve for you. Glad you did not become like them.

My ex being an only child had no escape… so he became the product of his parents.
Take the time to grow. Learn from some leaders, how they speak and how they handle difficult discussions.

Good luck 👍

[MzAsh]

I hear that you’ve had a difficult dynamic at home, and I hope you’re finding ways to process that. But just to be clear—l, this thread isn’t about unresolved childhood wounds. It’s about grown men choosing who they want to be, regardless of who raised them.

Blaming a controlling woman for why you gave up isn’t the kind of leadership this post is celebrating. The men I’m honoring here step up, not shut down.

If that doesn’t resonate, this might not be the space for you, and that’s okay.

[alice55]

To be fair if the man don't say he helped the woman is just gonna nag him he did nothing to help, I know cause my mother think I do nothing at home at all but when I told her the things I did she was surprised and happy. But like yeah if we don't sing it on the roof what we did people assume we do nothing...

[SolitarySolace]

It’s attractive when both partners take initiative without having to be asked. It shouldn’t be framed as a man ‘helping’—it’s his home too. Mutual responsibility builds stronger partnerships.

• Eva ❤️

[strateguy632]

Attractive? That is an odd word for this. She should be "appreciative" when a man ‘helps out' not attracted, it seems like an equation, if "help then closeness", if not, then no "closeness", like blackmail?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

It can be attractive I think, but sometimes my wife complained I was being hyperactive and my costantly going about the house cleaning or doing other chores prevented her from relaxing.

[Shiprex]

Men do all that adult stuff for themselves so why bring in an adult to then do it for them too?

What DOES a girl bring in to a guys life that makes it better?

[ProbablyClueless]

I'd love to talk about that! I'd also love it if we could talk about how attractive when a woman actually shows appreciation for the effort that men in her life put in.

[MannMitAntworten]

The beauty of living alone in my own home. I take care it all on my own. No girlfriend ever lifted a finger when they would stay. Not ever.

[Billlewis]

I much prefer to be able to do all the household chores in their entirety, whenever possible.

[EmmaMary]

@MzAsh

You have just completely described my husband 100%.

[DrPepper12]

My wife hasn't scrubbed a toilet, done laundry, changed the cat litter, gone food shopping or made a bed in YEARS.

It HELPS but is not the secret sauce it's portrayed to be!

[Nikki1989]

Yes, but they are a rare breed these days.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Every woman likes that, especially if they have a kid/kids.

[jahaims]

The word you are looking for is mature. Mature adults do what you are describing. Just like a female who pays her own bills isn't strong and independent. That's just being an adult.

[Bricealan]

@MzAsh A very good train... lucky woman, YOU!

[realeyeofthetiger]

Why and how do girls marry guys without this as a qualifier?

[MzAsh]

That’s a good question.

[realeyeofthetiger]

I think i like your questions and opinions.

[Babygirl_S]

Yes if both partners are working for an equal amount of time. I expect him to do less housework or none at all depending on how much I work.

[Evolutionf]

*Does reality check*
Uhm, most men take initative in pretty much all things. Not women. Where do you live? The opposite of Earth? Or do you live off from the feminist media?

[MzAsh]

Reality check? Sure. Let’s run the numbers since you brought it up.

Men rarely initiate therapy and most should. Women are far more likely to seek mental health support. Most men wait until it’s rock bottom or someone else pushes them into it.

Household chores… Study after study shows women still carry the bulk of domestic labor, even when working full-time. Laundry, dishes, cooking, most men don’t lift a finger unless asked.

Parenting involvement… Mothers are the ones scheduling doctor appointments, handling school meetings, homework, and daily routines. Dads “help”, moms run the show.

Preventative health care… Men notoriously avoid the doctor. They skip checkups, ignore screenings, and don’t go until something’s falling off. It’s part of why men die earlier.

Relationship maintenance… Women are the ones initiating hard convos, suggesting counseling, planning date nights, and noticing red flags. Men often coast until it’s too late.

Social and emotional labor… Remembering birthdays, checking in on people, keeping family ties intact, 98% of that gets dumped on women.

So no, most men aren’t exactly known for taking initiative. In fact, women are just trying to find one man who actually does so they can stop being the project manager of life.

[Evolutionf]

And where did you get that crap from? Feminist propaganda studies to get “people talking” and to gain clicks from women like you to get more profit in the long run?

Let me repeat: when I do reality check, men take the most initiative and take the lead. That has always been this case since dawn of mankind. Men decide and plan holidays for his family, man buys the tickets, man decides when to go to in-laws visit, man do the groceries more than woman, man protects, provides, bring families together and even tribes, not women. Man initiates which mall to visit to buy furnitures. Man initiates marriage, man initiates all plannings, man work overtime to bring in house and food for the family to survive, woman just sits home watching after kids and being on Instagram for the time being.

Women cannot plan ahead as men can because men are more rational, reasonable and is way more capable than women. Men are stronger.

Yes, there are times when man is absent (working overtime like my dad always did and still does to battle inflation) that the woman have to “take charge” of the kids. If anything happens, she calls the husband.

It has always been going on like the is for generations by generations. Men lead. Women follow. Men manage families. Men are natural leaders. Everyone knows that, especially Christians and Muslims. Only the zionist feminist trash propaganda tells otherwise which is complete nonsense and contradicts history and reality.

Touch some grass. You need it.

[Evolutionf]

And things that you have said has nothing to do with “taking initiatives” for example: men do not go to doctors. Besides, you are talking from your arse. Men go to doctors when needed. Your feminist propaganda is showing.

You see, I think I know the problem, you modern women desperately want to show that you are “equal” to men by spreading this example about “taking initiatives “ you want to spread your illusion as a false message that women are by biology better “initiators” but reality and biology says otherwise.

You women live in your own feminist bubble as some kind of a escape mechanism away from reality because you modern women hold a malicious envy towards the natural fact that men are greater than women. That patriarchy exists, that men contribute more for the human race and the civilisation than women do. You modern women resent being female. You are so hateful because biology is so biased against you women.

It is eating you modern women alive knowing that you can never be as great as men.

[MzAsh]

You clearly have no idea who you’re talking to, so let me fill you in. I used to coach men… in relationships. I worked with them directly. I tried to help them step up, communicate, lead with empathy, stop self-sabotaging, and actually be the kind of man women would want to build something with.

And you know what I found? Most didn’t want to do the work. They wanted praise for bare minimum effort. They wanted to control, not connect. So I stopped wasting time trying to coach uncoachable men who were allergic to accountability, initiative, or emotional growth.

Instead, I pivoted. Now I coach women on how to disqualify men like that before they drain the life out of them. I help women spot the red flags faster, filter out the ones who talk like you, and stop over-functioning in relationships where they’re carrying everything.

So no, I don’t need a lecture on who takes initiative. I’ve seen it up close in real-time, not in some fantasy land where men are gallantly buying tickets and managing tribes while women sit on Instagram.

In countless homes right now, women are working full-time jobs, paying bills, raising kids, running the house, keeping everyone alive, and still getting told they’re “not doing enough.”

This isn’t about feminist propaganda. It’s about patterns I’ve seen repeatedly in my own practice. So if you’re gonna argue with lived experience, at least bring facts, not nostalgia for a version of masculinity that collapses under scrutiny.

[Evolutionf]

“And you know what I found? Most didn’t want to do the work. They wanted praise for bare minimum effort. They wanted to control, not connect. So I stopped wasting time trying to coach uncoachable men who were allergic to accountability, initiative, or emotional growth.

Instead, I pivoted. Now I coach women on how to disqualify men like that before they drain the life out of them. I help women spot the red flags faster, filter out the ones who talk like you, and stop over-functioning in relationships where they’re carrying everything.”

Cool story, I r8 8/8!

“So no, I don’t need a lecture on who takes initiative. I’ve seen it up close in real-time, not in some fantasy land where men are gallantly buying tickets and managing tribes while women sit on Instagram.”

Most women nowadays just sit on their couch scrolling through Instagram or other social media, calling friends for hours, etc. My mom does that. Of course she does some dishes too but we sons could cook ourselves. Dad works overtime at the oil company in Netherlands. Handsome pay but heavy work. No woman can work as hard as men and keep that in mind. You modern women are just jealous that you cannot do real mental and physical labor because you would break your backs, your mind and at best, be infertile because women are defective. Women just sit in front of their desk complaining about having no airco’s.

“In countless homes right now, women are working full-time jobs, paying bills, raising kids, running the house, keeping everyone alive, and still getting told they’re “not doing enough.””

Is that all? What women do is easy. Try do things what men do and have done for generations to keep the civilisations going 👍 psst, you can’t because women are incapable to work as hard as men. Like I said, you will break because you are not as amazing as men.

[Evolutionf]

Just give up and admit you made this post because you are upset you are not a man, the stronger sex. You just love to indulge in feminist articles trying to desperately tell you modern women that you are just as great as men. Once again, it gets people talking and it brings cash flow. Because women envy men. And those women are a target audience for the fkn J3ws media who are trying to turn the world upside down. You are being dehumanised by them.

If you had wel functioning brains, you would have realised that what you got from social and mainstream feminist media is just to get people talking and for women to click on those baits so that those companies gain profit from you. With all these rubbish articles telling you “studies” how men are incompetent while reality and biology shows that men are more capable than women.

[Evolutionf]

Oh and to comment on your “ keeping everyone alive”

It is mostly men who do that stuff.

[Evolutionf]

So stop envying masculinity like the rest of the feminists and stop romanticising what women do. You are oversimplifying a bit and exaggerating as well.

Just accept nature’s way that women are not as capable overall as men are. That does not mean women are useless.

[MzAsh]

It’s kind of funny, you’re ranting like this while all I did was make a post celebrating men who actually take initiative in the home. The ones who do the laundry, the dishes, the school pickups, the planning, the cooking, without being asked. You know, the kind of men who want their woman to relax a little. Who like making her life easier. Who understand that real leadership is rooted in care, not control.

And what’s wild is… you just proved the point. You’re not mad because I said men can’t lead. You’re mad because some men do it better, and they do it in ways women actually respect. You’re mad that women celebrate those men. You’re mad that we get to sit back, receive, and live soft when we’re partnered with them.

Because here’s the truth: when a woman does it right, she does get the easy mode. She does get the princess treatment. She does get to be the prize. Not because she’s lazy, but because she filtered for a man who actually wants to co-create a beautiful life with her, not compete with her or break her down.

So thank you for the reminder. Not all men are built for that kind of love, but the ones who are? They’re being celebrated. They’re being chosen. And they’re definitely not crying in comment sections about it.

[Jennz6]

If I could have a man like that I would be very happy

[loveslongnails]

I think it's odd that some women just presume most men are fine with not partaking in making their own environment as good as it can be.

[worldscolide]

The wife agrees with you, it's why we have been together for like 12 years.

[WhiteThought]

Both men and women have their roles. It will always be attractive when both adhere to them.

[BDRick]

Not per se; it’s attraction vs affection. Women need be (sexually) attracted for affection means squat for hotness

[onedarkcloud]

Holy Shit! There are still guys around who take the initiative, they have to be scarcer than hen's teeth

[chocolatetwopointo]

so.. doing what he should do? take care of his house.. the bar is literally in hell.

[spartan55]

So what is she 'supposed to do'?

[chocolatetwopointo]

do chores? take care of his kid? basically whatever she's doing? it shouldn't be asked for and shouldn't be praised for when actually done.

[spartan55]

Riiiiight...

[spartan55]

So the division of labor should just be understood without a discussion?

[chocolatetwopointo]

yes? u should know how to do chores..

[spartan55]

No? How do you determine who does which chores?

[spartan55]

Have you ever been in a relationship? Honest question.

[chocolatetwopointo]

u communicate..💀 or you do your dishes and she does hers, and same goes for laundry and other stuff. do wtv works best.

[chocolatetwopointo]

nope I've never been in a relationship

[spartan55]

So, who vacuums, who cleans the bathrooms? Who cuts the grass? Maintains the vehicles? Doing your own dishes is expected in a roommate situation, but if you live with your SO it's very different.

[chocolatetwopointo]

depends on what you and ur partner have agreed on.

[spartan55]

Uh exactly, that's why I said there needs to be a discussion beforehand.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah? thats what i said?

[chocolatetwopointo]

u dont really live with somebody without talking to them first.

[spartan55]

Uh, no you didn't. Read back through our thread. It's right there.

[spartan55]

I said the division of labor should be understood without a discussion? And you said YES...🙄

[spartan55]

You are a piece of work.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah i missread, why would it not be discussed? r u dumb? like what kinda question is that?💀

[chocolatetwopointo]

gosh men r dramatic. and y'all still wonder why i hate yall💀

[spartan55]

Dramatic... riiight...

[chocolatetwopointo]

ignored everything but the insult. as always

[spartan55]

I comprehend everything you post angry kitty cat.

[chocolatetwopointo]

riiiighttt

[spartan55]

Lol... you are free entertainment.

[MzAsh]

Yes, these are things a man should do anyway. And no, they’re not special. But I do think the men doing things right need to be held as the example, not just as the anomaly.

[chocolatetwopointo]

no its not. grown men doing chores right should not be seen as something good, it should be seen as normal bc their parents should’ve taught them that when they were younger.

[Gaylordslav]

My brother is amazing thank God my mom has one masculine man at home to ease her suffering

[glennos89]

Helping out just isn't enough I guess 🥶

[Cormac995]

It's a big green flag

[Wise4myage]

Women love a man who takes charge.

[MzAsh]

We love a man who takes initiative doing the things he doesn’t necessarily always like to do but knows he needs to anyway, mostly in regard to house chores, planning dates, etc.

[Wise4myage]

I agree.

[WonderingManII]

Some guys are like that, and some are not.

[fish5505_87]

Like, I do that everyday, as does my wife?

[Charliefretz329]

It’s the same with a woman I agree

[Godihateyou]

If it is then I must be Bea Arthur

[Grond21]

Amen