Husband has intrusive thought to unalive me—should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

Sooo…. There are a lot of red flags in our relationship in general and I know I could hardly be a reliable source as a participant in this relationship… but… I guess I’m wondering if I’m overthinking this one or seeing things how they really are….

This happened a while ago but my brain decided to contemplate this today… probably because we are having some other issues… but my husband was taking apart the dining room table and stood up suddenly with the heavy wooden table leg in his hand, a metal piece protruding where it was connected to the table. He looked at me, looked at the leg, made a face but… kind of half smiled before changing to a face I couldn’t understand… and told me he was going to have to go put that in his car right away because he had an intrusive thought to hit me in the temple with this and how many hits it would take to… ya know… he hasn’t harmed me in any way physically and I know his intrusive thoughts tend to be more… outwardly aggressive… I guess I’m just… curious if this is a red flag or not really? I get intrusive thoughts (yay ocd), but they are always centered around harming myself, not others… so I don’t really know what to make of this… particular instance… thoughts?

Updates

6 mo

I should maybe also mention he has said that wasn’t the only time he had a thought like that… just the only one he told me about…

[Finchie40]

I think it’s time for you to walk away from his psychotic ass , whether he does something to you or not , why take that chance with someone that is clearly thinking and saying shit like that to you in the first place , Your husband needs some serious mental therapy , you are best to leave him without him knowing you left , for your own safety , cuz if you tell him to his face that you are leaving , you might be putting yourself in harms’ way. Just leave his ass a note and go stay with family or friends’ for a little while until he gets help , while he goes to work etc.. Even though he hasn’t physically acted on what he has said to you , that is still abuse , mental abuse that could easily turn to physical abuse. Do you really want to stay in a relationship with a guy that thinks about bashing your head in and has these intrusive thoughts about you? This is your warning girl to get yourself away from him , if he truly loved you he wouldn’t be saying things like that to you period. So your are best to be safe than sorry. Pack your shit and get out

[Asker]

You… aren’t wrong… I’m working on a plan to leave now… a couple weeks ago, shortly after this post, he also decided to interrupt a conversation we were having to tell me that I needed to stop talking because he wanted to punch me… he has since defended both statements, the one from a while ago as “dark humor” and the latter as “I didn’t mean to say punch you, I meant that I wanted to punch something.” And it’s just… let’s just leave it with the last few days in general have been eye opening about the multitudes of manipulation…. I don’t know how to leave yet… but I am realizing that I need to… thank you for the wake up call

[Finchie40]

I am praying for you , he definitely sounds like a psycho , because that isn’t dark humor , that’s mental abuse , my ass would be out of there if a so called
Loving partner was saying shit like that to me , I definitely would t be waiting around to see if they are just joking , I been down that road with a crazy obsessed girl that I started dating , she was sweet and caring in the beginning but when her and I became official that’s when her true colors shined of being a psychotic obsessed girl , she ended up chasing me with a knife and I had her ass arrested. Prior
To her chasing me with a knife she made verbal threats like your husband is doing to you

[L_Lawliet17]

I think the best thing to do is distance yourself from him and make it clear that he needs therapy. Once he’s made progress, it should be safe for you to be around him again.

[AI Opinion]

Oh boy, this is a serious one! As a relationship expert, I'd say it's super important to take any mention of harm, even as a passing thought, seriously. It’s definitely a red flag waving vigorously in the wind. Intrusive thoughts can pop up for people, but the key is how they're handled. Open communication about these thoughts and seeking professional help can be a vital step here. Checking in on your own safety and well-being should come first, and it wouldn't hurt for both of you to explore these feelings with a therapist. Safety first, always! 🌟

[Pterodon]

wtf is I alive? Speak English

[Asker]

Not sure I could use the uncensored word on here 😅

[RedInnocent69]

How intrusive