Relationships

Wishing I was single?

I’m tired of my relationship, we’ve known eachother a decade and been married 3 years. Right now it’s really rocky because I had an affair. He took me back but I honestly want to be by myself. Everything is boring, he’s trying to be more fun and I appreciate it but I feel like it’s already too late. We supposedly going to do marriage counseling. I love him but not like I used to, his family sux and now they know everything so I don’t want to be bothered with them. Everytime he thinks of something to do I don’t want to go anywhere. Which is sad cause he was the one that never wanted to do anything which is why o had an affair. None of it’s right I’m not justifying anything I’m just really depressed at the moment. Almost tried to take my own life a month ago. Stopped drinking alcohol been sober for 2-3 months my face breaks out like crazy now and I’m always irritable wanting to either punch someone on the face or jump off a cliff…idk I just feel like I need to be alone but at the same time can’t live without him even though I’m miserable. Thoughts on this? I’m about to start drinking again I mainly stopped cause he wanted me to…he smokes weed and I can’t do that cause it makes me paranoid. I’m a super bitch without alcohol and I think he’s noticing. Cause I don’t want to have sex with him either.

Wishing I was single?
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