Is "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" outdated in 2025?

[stratford]

It's never been my style, but I have witnessed many relationships where one side has been mean to the other and the relationship lasts.

Updates

10 mo

Important to note this can be from both sides.

[MrOracle]

That will get you laid, but for a sustained relationship, that's only going to work long-term with the most toxic, damaged people.

As a man, what you MUST do is be in charge, from Day 1, and every day after. That's not you being mean, it's just you being the captain of the ship and being the one who decides when you sail, when you dock, and what your route is going to be. She's welcome to come along on your adventure, and if not, that's fine too, but if she comes, it's still YOUR adventure and you remain the captain. That doesn't mean she never gets any input - she's going to want to visit certain places and do certain things, naturally - but you, as the captain, decides if and how you accommodate her requests. Sometimes you will, and sometimes you won't - not out of malice, but because as the captain, you have responsibilities to balance, and so you can't just follow her whims.

Most women today have been infected by Feminism, even if they don't realize it, so most cannot admit that they want their man to be the captain - to truly LEAD the relationship - but that's actually what most women want -- even the ones who initially fight against it. They want a man who is stronger than they are, who they can't manipulate, who they can respect. They don't want men who are just MEAN - to be a leader, you have to have a high level of competence and good communication skills - they want a man who they can trust to make the decisions and know that she's going to be safe following him.

Too many men - raised by Feminists, educated by Feminists, employed by Feminists, etc. - don't know how to be a leader. As soon as the woman pushes back, they crumple, and even though she wins, she loses respect for the man. In her mind, if the man can't stand up to HER, how can he stand up to a REAL threat? And if he can't do that, then she can't ever feel safe with him.

Granted, I recommend avoiding Feminists entirely - I'm talking about non-activist women who merely adopted Feminist ideology just by being around it and having no alternative. That's most women today. As long as they aren't activist "true believers", they can work out If the man has strong leadership. And if they don't, you just smile and let them go. Never try to force a woman to be with you or follow your lead. The "exit door" to the relationship should always be open to her - BUT, she needs to know that it's a one-way door, and once she walks out, there's no path back in, EVER, so she needs to really think through her decision before she uses that door.

As the captain, you make the decisions, but you also accept the responsibility and the consequences of those decisions. The two go hand-in-hand. You don't need to be mean at all, but you DO need to be firm, and you need to base your decision-making on logic, knowledge of the "big picture", and based on the likely consequences. You can't lead if you don't take your responsibilities seriously.

[Blackcat1952]

Very good question. Maybe not because of social media. And women have become twice.
As shrewd so maybe not. But I miss when it did work

[DishLady]

Uuuuuugh.


So I see this all the time. The bitchiest gals in the land keep the sweetest guys. Why? I don't know. I presume the guy was put through some sort of clockwork orange ordeal to accept being treated that way… or the gal’s vag truly is the scared golden passage to Narnia. Smh.

https://youtu.be/DmG56QjOXOY?si=b5CpYeKogcaORDnk

[valentina4eva]

what the heck!!😲😲 wow i had no idea that was a thing😵 i wouldn’t want to stay with someone mean regardless of if it’s 2025 or not!!

[AI Opinion]

Welcome to the world of relationships where trends come and go, but respect should never go out of style! Treat 'em mean might keep some folks keen, but in 2025, people dig kindness, understanding, and a genuine connection. Mean behavior can be a major red flag, signaling insecurity or control issues. Building a relationship on mutual respect and affection is way cooler than playing games. Let's keep it real and leave the meanness in the past, shall we? 😉

[Summeroflove]

Girls who honestly like being treated badly aren’t the type of women you want…. So if you get a woman like that you deserve what you get in the end

[Zack-Bann]

Went out of style in 2006


The “mean girl” esthetic just got old.
Men don’t need the added headache anymore


Especially since this was very much “patriarchal coded” meaning that the girls acting mean were essentially looking for the same punishment their daddies gave them


But acting mean while claiming modern equality just makes you unlikable.


Which i think is a good thing.
Why play pointless games

[DonaldDarko]

It's up to the individual. Some people are all bout jungle law. If that's your thing and your girl friend is like that to. Then that's a good strategy.

[dustybiker2]

Abused people lean to abusers. It doesn't make it healthy.

[Lynx122]

So true! :)

[PeachyPie93]

Probably guys tend to like mean woman not nice ones..

[Pohjolan]

Passport bros would be way less common if that was the case

[PeachyPie93]

@Pohjolan Passport bros is only common online, no normal guys do that stuff lol

[dragoblack]

Many women crave drama and abusive unstable relationships is what they are comfortable with and find exciting... they honestly need a lot of therapy to even have a healthy relationship.

[Massageman]

Works for my lawn mower blade. Been with me over 15 years.

[AngryCarl2]

It never gets old. And you know what's funny? Girls will still tell you it doesn't work on them!

[Anonymous]

depends if the person getting treated poorly is a doormat.

[LiamJHayden]

I've never been a game player, so I do not know.

[Anonymous]

Girls say they don't want to be with Guys like that but that's the type of Guys they end up spending time with.

So us Guys don't have any idea what to do.

[WhitneySnow]

I think that’s terrible

[Ariesman81]

Of course it still works.

[fonduegirl]

Yes, sounds incredibly dumb

[blackeagle007]

Sounds like respect is old news

[Anonymous]

I don't even know what that means...