Did my cousin's older brother deserved to be disowned and disinherited?

[Anonymous]

I always thought my aunt and uncle were a great couple but it was all just appearances. Their two boys at the time were 7 and 3 years old.

It turns out my aunt had an affair long ago with her manager. My uncle discovered the infidelity through an old receipt. He did a paternity test on both boys. Only the younger child is his. The older one isn't.

He agreed to only stay for the sake of his younger child but as soon as the older becomes of legal age the truth will be revealed, he'll divorce her and he needs to find elsewhere to live.

He turned 18 last month. As promised, my uncle revealed him the truth, told him he had two weeks to find a place to leave, that he'll both disown and disinherit him because he's not his son and therefore not his responsibility, that only his mother is responsible for his college tuition. My uncle started the divorce process recently as well as joint custody for his bio child.

The boy is devastaded and feels both hurt and betrayed as he was the only father he ever knew and loved. Did he deserved that?

[Cormac995]

His mother shouldn't have been a whore. This is her fault that's where the blame goes. I wouldn't pay for a kid that wasn't mine either I'd pay for the one that was mine because he's, my responsibility. He's being cold about it and he should have told him the moment he knew and made that clear but other than that I'd have probably divorced the mom as soon as I found out and walk out on the family after suing for at least partial custody for the child that was actually mine. I've spent too much of my life worrying about ungrateful people already to tolerate being married to a whore a second longer than possible.

[Asker]

Yeah it's horrible how some women do that. Cheating is already awful but paternity fraud is disgusting.
My uncle didn't wanted to hurt the other boy's feeling at the time because he was just 7 and would call him daddy. He felt that was too young so he waited till the following day after his 18th b-day.

[Asker]

The mother caused so much destruction, not just to my uncle but both of her children. His bio child misses his half-brother and is shocked by the news too.

[Cormac995]

Yea and it's not even because I hate the kid it's not his fault his mother is a whore it's just that he's not my responsibility. If I have a son that's actually mine and one that's not than the one that is, is my responsibility and the other isn't. That's the responsibility of the mother who cheated and the man she cheated with. Arguably I would say it's unfair to the kid that actually is yours because you're making the child that's yours less of a priority in favor of someone who's not your flesh and blood.

[Cormac995]

I don't hate the kid or wish him ill he's just not my responsibility.

[lightbulb27]

No he didn't and that could really trash his life near term. It's not his fault.

The father is the person that was there to raise the child! He should have just adopted him then. Very sad.

However, in some cultures where honor and the family name matters most, this be an issue. Where love is the center of the belief system, it is more manageable.

I know someone else this happened to recently and sends them in a tailspin. Hopefully he gets some counseling, grief share group, etc.. to work through it... and other family support.

And... he doesn't thus know his birth father.

[Asker]

Nope he never met his bio father. The lover moved elsewhere and has a private life. He isn't found on FB nor any social medias. Looks like he might've placed his profile as private so no one who knows him can trace him.

[lightbulb27]

totally unfair, very sad. I hope he has a go fund me. I cannot imagine.

this is where the bible "the wages of sin is death"... comes true again. so many people on this site think they "get creative". It results in pain and suffering so often. There's a reason for traditional values.

ultimately, there really is no problem, but a mental one. in years past can read about so many people whom were adopted out and adopted in. this guy just mad at his wife.

[Asker]

I'll tell to create a go fund account for his college tuition. Hopefully that helps him.

[lightbulb27]

Yes. frankly, if he's broke, he will get state aid and probably free... but he will have to prove he's on his own, might need uncles help with proving that.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my heart goes out to everyone involved in this tangled web of emotions. Choices in relationships can have far-reaching consequences, and this situation is a prime example. The boy didn’t choose this scenario, and being thrust into such emotional turmoil can be devastating. Sometimes, adults act out of their pain, and while your uncle’s feelings are understandable, the impact on the young man's life is monumental. Love can't always outweigh such harsh realities, but empathy and understanding can bridge the divide. Let's hope healing comes with time, patience, and open hearts. 💔

[DonaldDarko]

It's not the kid who deserves it. The piece of shit that cheated certainly does.

[Anonymous]

No but this is on the boy's mother.

[Asker]

Indeed. It's her fault. Now the young man is likely affected both emotionally and psychological.

[Asker]

He didn't choose to be the product of his mom's affair. Poor kid. He loved my uncle, grew up thinking he was his father.

[Cormac995]

Oh no doubt this is going to emotionally destroy him and give him trust and mommy and daddy issues the rest of his life most likely.

[Ariesman81]

Nope, but neither did your uncle

[Anonymous]

He didn't deserve that.

[Danny_dan92]

Nope

[Asker]

Poor kid. This will affect him psychological.

[Danny_dan92]

It definitely is

[zombiewoof]

He did not

[Asker]

Yeah. He feels so betrayed and hurt.

[zombiewoof]

Can you blame him