Relationships

Would a faithful provider but aggressive automatically make them a terrible partner/spouse?

I just learned our family friend's husband wasn't so great afterall. He passed away last month and all revelations came to light.

They seemed the perfect family from pictures. They would go on rides on some weekends, family vacations on Christmas, the man helped around the house and college tuition for his two children. Everything great so far; no drugs nor alcohol addiction nor infidelity but he had an explosive temper when contradicted too much or if someone argued too much. He was always hitting first. It wasn't frequently but maybe 1-2 a month.

He hit his wife because she got verbal and wouldn't shut up. He used to threat his two kids (daughter and son) with a knock-out or hard slap if they ever dare backtalk. The kids would hear all those horrible arguments their parents had, including their mother begging him to stop hitting her. The daughter moved out as an adult and sought psychological help. The son knocked out his father once as an adult.

They all supposedly got along better years later and the man became too old and weak to hit but he would changed to using emotional threats if contradicted.

Personally for me one abusive (getting hit just once) episode Is enough for me. No money nor being a great helper in the house can override that.

Updates
8 mo
Anyone man (or woman) that finds themselves with urges to hit their spouse just because they wouldn't shup up needs urgent help. Hitting your spouse for words is horrible.
If they're verbally antagonistic, then either go to couple therapy or leave.
Would a faithful provider but aggressive automatically make them a terrible partner/spouse?
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