My boyfriend locked me in a room? Is it over for us?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend had never shown any major red flags before, but recently he became extremely jealous and possessive. He believed I had cheated on him and suddenly grabbed my phone out of my hands by force. When he couldn’t figure out the password, he escalated the situation completely out of the blue.

He grabbed my arm, shoved me into our bedroom, and locked me inside. He told me that if I wanted to get out, I needed to tell him the password. I was scared and panicking, but I refused because I wanted him to understand that this is not an acceptable way to communicate, especially since I wasn’t hiding anything.

He then said he would let me “reflect on my behavior” and left the apartment. He kept me locked in the bedroom for five hours without food or water. When he returned, he waited until I was sleeping, then suddenly hugged me and apologized. He said he didn’t mean to scare me, but insisted that hiding things from him was unacceptable.

I’m two months pregnant, and he doesn’t know yet. That’s why I’m struggling with the idea of ending the relationship—I don’t want to be a single mother.
Is there any way to salvage this relationship at all, given what happened?

[Bolt1104]

If he locks you in a room and physically stops you from leaving that crosses from jealousy into abusive and controlling behavior. Grabbing your phone shoving you isolating you and then keeping you locked up for hours without food or water isn’t a “mistake” or a misunderstanding that’s coercion and imprisonment. It shows he’s willing to use force and fear to get control.

The fact that he waited until you were asleep to apologize and then blamed you for “hiding things” is another huge red flag. That’s not someone taking accountability that’s manipulation.

People don’t suddenly jump to something this extreme out of nowhere. When someone shows they’re capable of physically restraining you the next escalation can be even worse.

And being pregnant makes this even more serious not less. Pregnancy often increases control and violence in abusive partners and you deserve to be safe emotionally and physically.

I know it’s incredibly hard to think about leaving especially with a baby involved but staying with someone who has already shown they’re willing to trap and control you can put both you and the baby at risk.

Once someone takes away your freedom like that it’s not just a “relationship problem” it’s a safety problem.

Ma’am you need to run for your safety and the baby protect yourself and your baby first don’t worry about his feelings find a safe place a home where you can get away even if it’s cheap or in a completely different town family or someone who cares about you that you trust!

[Bolt1104]

Edit to add: i definitely agree with someone in the comments about contacting the police because that is an extremely abusive situation that should not be discussed or anything he just needs to be left instantly. No saving that relationship.

[Nikki1989]

That is already serious abuse. He needs to be locked up, and you need to get away as far as possible.

[AviatorTom]

Sounds like this relationship had problems well before the lock-in-the-room event. You're two months pregnant and you haven't told him? Why not? He deserves to know?

And when you finally do tell him, he's going to wonder why you kept it from him? Which is going to increase his insecurity even further. Your relationship cannot continue like this.

If you want this relationship to succeed, you two need to have a calm sit-down conversation and lay everything on the table... share all your feelings, no guilt, no negative comments, no yelling and screaming. After that, you can each decide to continue the relationship (and what it takes to do that) or move on.

[MrChinaski]

This is already high-end physical abuse. 90% of the time, things will get worse not better.

Identify resources... friends, family, counsellors, women's shelters... make a plan to stay safe. You need somewhere you can go for at least the first week that he won't find you and that will give you time to plan your next steps. Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time.

I understand the pregnancy makes it more of a struggle. If you stay, you will be raising a child in a dangerous and toxic environment, for both you and the child.

[AI Opinion]

As a dedicated relationship coach, I'm here to help you navigate these stormy seas. Your boyfriend's behavior waves more than a few red flags, and not the cute parade kind. Resorting to threats and coercion is a major sign of toxicity, plus, with a little one on the way, safety and stability should be top priorities. Ending it could be tough, but you deserve better. Keeping secrets isn't cool, but neither is locking you up. Prioritize your well-being, talk to a trusted friend or counselor, and make choices that put you first. You got this! 🌟 Stay strong, love.

[Crankor]

Him locking you in a room for one is not ok. If he acts like that, that behavior rarely gets any better. If he's being unreasonable discussing it then sounds like its nit going to be a good idea to stick around. Sucks about the kid but its def a terrible idea to stay with someone just for a child. I woukd try discussing it with him again without mentioning being pregnant first and see if he's more rational after a cool down time

[itsannalee]

Most men who act extremely jealous are the ones who always cheat

[Anonymous]

Well make it fair. Ask him to keep his devices password free and unlocked for u to do the same

[jahaims]

You are both too immature and unhealthy for a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Jesus christ you need to go to the police wtf is wrong with him that's kidnapping and physical abuse and holding you hostage all felonies

[Opinion Owner]

Also and normal i don't recommend this but you should get an abortion

[Anonymous]

Sure, dump him.

[abc3643]

YES!!