(1) What to do about a guy who's fallen in with the wrong crowd? (2) Can you always tell the "right" crowd from the "wrong" one?

[DishLady]

There's a European expression, "Tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are."

A guy I know is v different from me, very "new money" and chasing every opportunity to just make a buck. As a result he's fallen in with incredibly cheap, plastic, immoral people. When I saw him hit a low point in his path to making friends I asked if he needed a hand meeting the right people to help him progress in the "right" way.

And he agreed, but then was jealous of EVERY person I introduced him to. Very competitive. Very vindictive towards me for even knowing such people as well. No idea why.

A few months passed and I realized that no matter how good the people are who I've connected him with he still insists on remaining tied to the very bad elements.

Good friends who are protective of me said it's not worth it, "He's not like us..." and it took me a while to understand what they were saying.

It took me some time to see that the people in the guy's circle were all identical and "bad"...

So I'll ask:
(1) Should I just walk away from the guy so I'm not "tainted by association" and considered the same "cheap" sort of low-value person he and his friends are?

(2) Is everyone else able to sort out high-value and low-value folks easily?

[HawkPerception]

Yes I genuinely believe birds of a feather flock together. Not just for friendships, but romantic relationships as well. The more similarities you share the more compatible you generally are.

In your case, as long as there's even a single aspect you like about the guy, then he might be worth keeping around (as long as it's major aspect). You don't need to share every similarity with someone to be friends with them. But if you share absolutely nothing in common, then it's best to go your own way and let them chill with peeps like themselves.

[DishLady]

Romantic not always bc some are lead by physiological attraction factors outside of the scope of their personality. But friends-wise, yes.

[Summeroflove]

It can hurt to see someone fall… But you don’t have to allow them to hurt you. Yes, you can pray for them but at the end of the day people make choices. A lot of people also simply don’t want to see who someone is and the people they choose to hang around.

A lot of parents for instance when their teenager or young adult kids die… Sometimes there are details that’s better for them to never know. When they do know these details a lot of times they refuse to believe them. Because their kids would never do that. A lot of times when one spouse is arrested for horrendous crimes… That spouse will blindly defend because they just can’t believe their husband or wife would do such a thing. People do it for other relatives, close friends, and romantic partners.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

( 1 ) You can remind him of who he is, but you can’t drag him out of a room he chooses to stay in.

If his environment starts shrinking his character, I step back.

People grow or they drift, his part isn’t mine to manage.


( 2 ) Not always.

Some “wrong” crowds look exciting at first, and some “right” ones look boring.

I just watch what they bring out in a person, clarity, or chaos.

That never lies.

[OlderAndWiser]

You can save someone from the big, bad wolf, but you can't save someone from their self.

It is much easier for a low person to bring someone down than it is for a better person to raise someone up. Put some distance between yourself and the guy, and focus your energy on someone else who is a better investment.

[MicahRaine]

All you can do is offer to help. If the help is rejected or treated incorrectly, that's that. You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

I usually can. I've never really fallen into the wrong crowd thanks to it lol. It's usually not hard to tell when you have strong principles, even if you have weak character.

[exitseven]

There are people who if they had a choice between doing something the honest way and doing something dishonestly even though it is more difficult, they will always take the dishonest way. I knew somebody like that. He was always in the middle of a scam.

This guy will probably end up in a dumpster.

[spartan55]

How are his associates 'bad'?

[Staximus]

You run with dogs, you get bit by fleas