Is it over? Bad fight leading to “I need to think about it”?

[Anonymous]

had a bad fight last Saturday. Today is Friday. I messed up. Alcohol played a role. Been in chronic pain for two months and not easy to deal with, I hated being on so many meds so ended up drinking. Had the bad fight he told me to leave I was upset so even left Apple family plan, took him off some other apps but not subs. Texted and texted. Drove there Sunday begging to just get my things because some daily’s were there.

He wouldn’t open the door. Ended up texting late Monday about if we can talk or if I need to pick up my things. Tuesday he said there’s nothing to say, sounded so formal, told me my things are in boxes and when will I pick them up. I was already driving home so went to his place. And literally begged cried asked for him not to break things off. He said he would think about it and put my things in the closet so they wouldn’t smell like cigarettes since he smokes inside.

i can’t stop blaming myself. I helped him so much before I tried to be as supportive as possible, getting groceries, helping him when he lost his job, and I’ve been in a bad place for two months now and don’t want things to end this way.

Updates

5 mo

Haven’t heard a word since and his friend checked up on me she saw him at her Christmas party. I’m not reaching out again. It’s just hell to be in this kind of limbo.

[SueShe]

If his position that was adamant in the beginning suddenly changed to the one where he may give a thought, all hope is not lost.

You may have had your reasons to behave the way you did since you were on meds because of pain. This can cause havoc in a person's mental state and he probably understood that situation. Also, a number of days have passed since the fight happened and he must also have seen your point of view and not only his.

So I would say that his answer was not a definite one and that he may have left the door ajar.

Be wise and use that opportunity but remember that you are holding the cards that will either shut the door close for good or open it wider for you to enter.

Good luck.

[Nikki1989]

It sounds like a “perfect storm” of factors hit all at once: physical agony, medication fatigue, and the poor judgment that alcohol unfortunately provides. You need to take a deep breath and try to look at this with a little more self-compassion.

[AngryCarl2]

You can't blame the breakup on one incident, obviously this has been brewing for a long time and the fight on Saturday was just the tipping point. I'm sorry you're suffering now but you need to find a way to move on from this relationship. Perhaps you can stay with relatives while you get you life back together?

[In_Trance]

Go your separate ways