Can someone help me understand why women are looking for a platonic partnership?

[Anonymous]

I know this is a bad question all together.
I do know there are asexual people.
I have two female friends in my accommodation, who only want a platonic relationship.
From my perspective they just want a male friend right?
When I asked them, what they look in the relationship with them, they answered "just someone who can spoil them, and take care when they can't"
I still don't know what that means.
+
Not anyone can do that, it has to be the specific guy who they are attracted to only.
I am feeling that is too one sided relationship or friendship from my perspective.
Can someone explain to me why, what and when these kinds of relationships take place.

[MrOracle]

I'm not sure why you couldn't understand what she said - it was very clear, but I will try to explain.

Women who are single, by choice or not, often want male "friends" who she is "just friends" with. Why? Because this gives her 80% of the benefits of being in a relationship with none of the costs or obligations. She will expect her "friend" to give her attention constantly (except when she doesn't want it, when she will ignore him), to do favors for her (handyman services, furniture moving, driving her to the airport or train station, fixing/maintaining her car or computer), to console her when the hot guy she dates treats her like shit, and often to "loan" her money that she will never repay. He will pay anytime the go out to eat or go to any entertainment. In return, he gets the privilege of her presence.

It's just as she said - she wants a guy to spoil her and give her attention, and she doesn't have to do anything in return. This is why most women want male "friends."

As a man, you'd have to be insane (or pathetically desperate and delusional) to think this arrangement is a good idea, but it's very easy to understand why women like it. It's like having their own personal slave that they don't even have to feed.

[Purpleronnie]

Reading between the lines all I feel for sure is that they aren’t interested in you and my best advice is that this should be of no consequence to you because you’d be well advised to stay well clear of them.


What do you have to gain by understanding them anyway ?

[DishLady]

Bc a platonic partnership is SO MUCH LESS COMPLICATED and the guy doesn't get all possessive and in-your-business for absolutely no reason. It's like visiting your friend who has kids... At the end of the day of fun with the friends and their kids you say "bye" and go home to peace and quiet.

It's not for everybody, though. Some guys and gals can't handle platonic anything.

[HollyK21]

Those two female friends are most likely saying that to you as a deterrent, to keep you from asking them out. They just want platonic (aka strictly friendly) with you.

[Asker]

I am not at all interested in them

[Asker]

Cause I am already in a good relationship.
Planning to get married in march

[Asker]

Can you change your answer

[HollyK21]

That’s all great, however I don’t think I’d change my statement. Mainly because when guys are asking certain women specific questions, it could seem as though they’re leading to other questions (for example, if you ask what I’m doing Friday night in most cases it’s because you’d like to hang out). Those women could assume you’re asking those questions with a plan to follow up asking about a date or something along those lines.

I know you say you’re already in a good relationship, however an aspect that I take into consideration is that just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t automatically translate being in a “happy relationship”, or to you being a good, faithful guy. Not every man in a relationship is well intended. So when you’re asking your friend what she’s looking for in a guy or in a relationship without following that up with some sort of intention to maybe hook her up with a friend of yours, or make other suggestions for her dating life, it leaves an opening for interpretation.

[HollyK21]

I also stand by this statement because the latter doesn’t seem sensible in my mind. You’ve got two women that say they don’t want anything else but a guy except friendship, and I can’t help but to feel like those are deterrent statements, even if they’re just a result of those women getting the wrong impression of you. I personally have never met a woman who doesn’t want anything but financial support from a man unless that’s her profession of sorts, like a sugar baby or even a prostitute.

[HollyK21]

**anything else from a guy except friendship

[Asker]

But why hog all the love, financial support from someone like that?
Not giving in return.
Even my fiancé doesn't say anything about them. she just says they are good friends.
Which I can't argue. Cause they are good friends of hers. I don't care about what they want. But why is the question?
I am not trying to set them up or anything. It was just a bit unnatural to hear that for me.
When I was 23-24 I had the worst rejections for all my life and I know what reason women come up with. This was the first time it was too selfish

[HollyK21]

Every woman is different, not all of our priorities are the same. I’m not someone who cares about financial gain, but for someone that does, then that’s the priority. I could see one of them having that mindset, but both? I just think there was underlying meaning, same as that male commenter below said. I think I get what you’re trying to say — you don’t do anything to show interest, plus you’re getting married to their friend, so why would they even think you want anything with them? There could be a number of reasons that you aren’t aware of, or even just as simple as them getting the wrong impression from that line of questioning. But I do think their statements are ones you should read between the lines on. Stupid I know, that’s just how some women are. Sorry you’re having to deal with 2.

[Asker]

I don't think that's the thing.
I think I am going to be honest.
And tell what I think it is
They both just hate men altogether but want a pet who they can use and exploit. I agree women do that

[HollyK21]

What makes you think they hate men?

[Curmudgeon]

@Asker: Sadly no. Always proofread before you post. (I have had numerous typo errors, grammar errors, incomplete thoughts, and other shortfalls in my posts; i can relate)

[AI Opinion]

I am here to dive into the whimsical world of love, friendships, and everything in between! 🌟 Platonic partnerships can be about emotional connection without the romantic pressure. It's kinda like having a BFF who sweeps you off your feet with kindness, laughs, and support, minus the romance novel drama. Some people thrive on deep connections without physical intimacy. It’s not one-sided if both parties get what they need. These relationships bloom when mutual needs are met, like companionship and care without lovebombing. It’s really about feeling valued and supported, like an emotional safety net. Keep an open mind and heart! ❤️

[AviatorTom]

Could be the women are afraid to have children. A strictly platonic relationship satisfies that fear.

[RavVid]

Well, at least they are honest in saying they want a relationship in which they receive without giving anything in return.

As opposed to normal women who enter sexual relationships till bonding has taken place and then shut up shop.

Effectively these women are wanting to be cute pets for a man.

Remember the love hierarchy is 1/men love women 2/women love children 3/children love pets. So if women move down to being pets, it could work.

[Zack-Bann]

That’s the BS statement women make when they’re not interested in a guy specifically
They’ll make up all these alternate arrangements to control the narrative.


When the guy they have the hots for comes around suddenly all the platonism disappears


Don’t worry too much about it. Unless you’re interested in them
Which from what I read you’re not since you’re already with someone

[DextroShade]

It's simple: they want the benefits of having a boyfriend without having to be your girlfriend. These cunts will still expect you to hangout with them, do things for them, listen to them bitch about the guys they are actually fucking, and, if shit hits the fan, they will expect you to risk your life for them in exchange for fucking nothing! As Tate says, "Why would I risk my life for her when she's not even sucking dick?"

[Asker]

That is a bit harsh bro

[Curmudgeon]

@Asker but it IS the Truth...

[Curmudgeon]

They want to "have their cake and eat it, too". They want the intimacy of a relationships with men, but do not want to have any sexual reciprocity. And frankly, that's *worse* than being "stuck in the friendzone".

[Curmudgeon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRgkYj9Diro

[Nikki1989]

You are overthinking this way too much.

The majority of my friends are men, but I never planned it that way. Friendships just happen, and that's how they should be.

[Curmudgeon]

@Nikki1989 But this goes beyond friendship, or at least, something considerably beyond friendship is being demanded from the men, with the men getting nothing in return.

[Anonymous]

Its very simple. They want you to perform all the roles they might get from a husband, boyfriend, father, brother etc but no sex involved. Basically friend zoned you.

My wife is A sexual but we still have sex whenever i want it.

[Curmudgeon]

I would say it is *worse* than being friendzoned. Being friendzoned, at least, does not demand intimacy on the man's part.

[Opinion Owner]

@Curmudgeon being friend zoned is being in a platonic relationship. You are the shoulder they cry on after Chad pumped them and dumped them. Your the guy they call at 3am after they got drunk at a party and got no ride home after the homes ran a train on them. Your the guy they get to help them move house because their boyfriend is too busy hanging with his boys.

[Curmudgeon]

I will give you that the kind of "friendzone" that you describe is not worth it.

To repeat a prior post of mine about "The Friendzone":
"Should you maintain the friendship? Is there anything on a non-romantic level that appeals to you about her? Intellect? Hobbies? Professionally?
A very good sample question to ask yourself here is: Can you ever see yourself doing business with her? Could you see her as your Realtor? Your Attorney? (I am using examples from my professional dealings.)
If the answer is YES, maintain the friendship.
If the answer is NO, and you really just want her physically, then politely say goodbye."

But all that said, the kind of "intimacy" they want is the kind that, really, only people who are sleeping together have. Which goes beyond Frinedzone level. And that's just a raw deal if there is no actual sleeping together.

[Opinion Owner]

@Curmudgeon well there's a difference in being friends with a woman and being friend zoned. If she's a friend she reciprocates the friendship, if she friend zones you she just uses you for her own ends anything from money to holding hair back when throwing up.
I had a friend who was a girl growing up. Was totally into her but she wasn't but she was a loyal friend and got me laid a few times

[Curmudgeon]

Fair enough. Perhaps we are defining terms differently.

[spartan55]

This is exactly why I have no use for female friends.

[DonaldDarko]

Can't fuck because something is wrong with them but don't want to be alone. That's about it.

[slatyb]

Just like men, they can want whatever. That doesn't mean they will find it.

[Anonymous]

No they will have a lot of sex with the guys they want. The guys they don't want to have sex with always think they just don't want sex at all.

[AngryCarl2]

I mean you're providing them with lodging. Are they paying for that?

[Anonymous]

Women just aren’t realionship oriented. Unless you’re super good looking and rich, ur sol

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

They’re talking about QPR

[Asker]

What's that can you elaborate

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Queer Platonic Relationships. Think Lavender marriage

[Asker]

Why, I don't think it can work at all.
Only if both are asexual.
If one is not, it's just hell for that one.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Your queer education is painfully lacking. You know asexual people still have sex, right?

[Mike_Hum]

why are you wasting your life on them

[beefcakebradybatson]

Because most righty dudes can't boy up !!!

[Anonymous]

Not all women want that.

[In_Trance]

They're not