Is it normal to feel bored in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Going on 2 years and it has been my first long relationship. Is it normal to feel bored?

[DishLady]

You're around the same age as a close friend who complained about being bored in her relationship... A husband of 25 years and two kids... and she walked away from the guy, but they still get together for family breakfast with the kids... they just don't want to sleep in the same bed or be in the same bedroom together anymore.

I asked if they'd tried therapy... they had. I asked if they'd tried to refresh their approach to sex, to have date nights, etc. They tried everything and the boredom got worse.

Funny thing is that they didn't even split to be with other people. She's very happy alone and so is he. One kid is finishing college and the other is about to start... And they love each other but just didn't want to be alone together.

Who knows why these things happen in cases like this... They had so many memories, had invested so much in each others' lives, and so on. There wasn't violence or disruption or cheating... there was just a sense of "getting as far as we could" and knowing that there was no more to it than this.

[Asker]

I feel bored because he works nights and I work days. I would love if he could join me on a walk together in the mornings at the park but he does have two boys to take care of. I like to take care of myself and would be nice if he could join me here and there. I'm always doing things alone, like washing my car, going on a walk. It gets to me and then I think I am better off alone and single than in a relationship where I get bored we don't go anywhere exciting. When I go to his place we just watch tv/movies/shows if we go out we take his boys out but just on a drive which I find beyond boring...

[Nikki1989]

There is no boredom, only boring people. It is what you make of it.

[Finchie40]

Oh Yes it's normal, it just means you aren't with the right partner, and why it's best to be with someone that you have a lot in common with, over someone you don't really have a lot in common with. Why i no longer rush into relationships with girls' until i know her and I have a lot in common and we really get to know each other , before making the big decision to commit to each other, having sex with each other doesn't determine if she is the girl for me or not. but it's definitely an added bonus

[lightbulb27]

Of what I read, it's a stretch...

sure, you find ways to make it great again. your cat gets bored too... everyone needs some change.

Being married is kinda like a job. the job is to love and respect each other and the relationship, including yourself.

[Asker]

Thank you!!

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach with a mission to add a sprinkle of excitement to the love lives of Girls Ask Guys users, let’s dive into your situation! 😉 Feeling a little bored after two years is quite normal. Relationships go through phases, and the initial fireworks can fade a bit over time. But fear not! Bring back the spark with new activities or adventures together. Remember, every lasting relationship is more about commitment than constant excitement. Keep things spicy and unexpected to avoid loveburnout! 🌶️💞

[MrChinaski]

It is normal for New Relationship Energy to run its course and to go through patches of boredom, but the question is how and whether you will get out of the lull. I wouldn't want to stay bored for very long.

Up to you collectively to sort it out if you want to return to a rewarding relationship. Is the issue that the you have irreconcilable differences? That you have learned to shut off communication on interesting topics for fear of hurting or being hurt? Do you need to try some more team bonding activities. (I find moving house DIY is the ideal bonding activity as you are not only forced to rely on each other, you also achieve something tangible... I'm not sure I would move just for the sake of bonding though.) Etc etc etc.

Otherwise, just walk away, amicably if you can. It sounds like you have already learned a lot and grown from the relationship. Don't look back in anger.

My 2c

[slatyb]

Bored how exactly? What have you been doing for the first two years? It's normal to feel bored if you haven't been growing in any way. Sometimes we meet someone and after a while realize that there's nothing left to say -- they aren't learning anything new and don't care about our interests.

[Asker]

It has been my longest relationship so far of 2 years and he works night shift I work day shift. I wish he would come with me on a long walk instead of me always going alone. We see each other once or twice a week plus he has two boys and tries to balance me and them but I catch myself bored I need more excitement in my life. Go hiking and exploring and sometimes he doesn't want to go hiking so I catch myself being bored

[slatyb]

Have you spoken to him about it? Working opposite shifts really makes it difficult, and children complicate it even more.

[Twalli]

I think you're mistaking comfort and security for boredom. You don't have to work as hard to keep the relationship going. It's not going to fracture as easily. Do you still enjoy being with him? Do you still want to be with him? As long as you still want to be with him, the relationship isn't boring, it's just strong enough to not have a lot of passion every time.

[Asker]

Yes that is very true, I don't have to work as hard. Usually it's only been the 1 year and then we break up so I am used to the feeling of excitement and it is the feeling I like too. I enjoy being with him but I don't know if I want to be long term with him. I don't have kids and he has 2 boys and we like different things. He likes to smoke and drink and I don't. I'll drink here and there but it's not something I care for

[Twalli]

You're entering the stage when you start noticing everything that's different. Don't worry, this is probably the hardest part of a relationship. Eventually you have to decide what differences you can live with and those you can't. He has to do the same. If you can't accept the differences they can't or won't change, you're not supposed to be together.
Despite being in a relationship for 7.5 years, I can't give a lot of help for getting through these two stages, because the only real difference between my girlfriend and me are certain things we like to watch that the other one doesn't. And even then, there's usually something we both want to watch instead.

[strateguy632]

Yes and common but don't throw away a nice guy just kuz you're bored. Then you lose a nice guy... and enter the lottery of who is next... or worse looking for excitement with a bad guy who will yell at you or worse.

[Asker]

true but he works nights and I work days, and he has two boys both ae autistic and the youngest doesn't talk yet and he is about to be 8

[Purpleronnie]

Not sure how to reply to this because I don’t understand what you mean by bored


Maybe you could expand and add what you expected , wanted and needed from the relationship and what you got? As well as an explanation of why your feel bored?

[Asker]

It has been my longest relationship so far of 2 years and he works night shift I work day shift. I wish he would come with me on a long walk instead of me always going alone. We see each other once or twice a week plus he has two boys and tries to balance me and them but I catch myself bored I need more excitement in my life. Go hiking and exploring and sometimes he doesn't want to go hiking so I catch myself being bored. When I am at his house we just watch TV or we play a game or two but it's hard when his boys are there to go out anywhere specially because they are autistic

[rachel776]

i am almost at 3 years and i have never been bored, but both of our individual lives are not boring

[BCRanger10]

Entirely normal. A relationship is a roller coaster, there are ups and downs.

[Asker]

It has been my longest relationship of 2 years and yes I have seen a lot of ups and downs

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Normal? Not to me at least. I can't conceive being bored after two years, unless the problem comes from me, my mood?

[elizamichale1]

Tbh I have never felt bored... I m married to my partner since last 3 years and I was with him for over 5 years before that

[Asker]

I find myself bored with my boyfriend, he like to smoke and drink here and there as a way to relax and I don't drink much I like to go to book stores, coffee shops outdoors

[elizamichale1]

You two need to find things which u both like n then spend time doing those

[queenofcardio]

Normal. You're very comfortable in the relationship. Do something fun together

[Asker]

Thank you! I appreciate it

[blackeagle007]

Fantastic advice

[Staximus]

Every day is not going to be like the first date or a honeymoon, welcome to real life where relationships are not like some fake bullshit you see on TV

[Asker]

that is true I am finding that out now

[MisterPandemonium]

Maybe it depends on WHY you're bored. Is your partner boring you, or are you in a boring stage of life right now?

[Unycorn]

Better bored than stress.

It is up to your - be creative.

[raccoon71]

It's normal to be bored in general. In order to answer your question, I have questions of my own. What is your significant other like?

[qwerty2469]

Yeah in 20. Not 2. Leave. We aren't here for a long time.

[Anonymous]

Yes completely normal that's why it's important to spice things up

[sage2021]

It's boring if you're stuck with a boring person.

[beenherebefore]

It can happen sometimes.

[Mike_Hum]

Only if you're boring.

[Bloodparadise]

Yes..

[Anonymous]

Yup true

[zombiewoof]

Life happens