Should you wait for the perfect person or settle for someone good enough?

Question

Some people swear the right person is worth waiting for… others think something real can grow with someone who’s simply a good match. No right or wrong answer… just curious where you personally stand.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I don't really like the word settle , but at the same time , there's nobody that's going to be perfect , either the two  That's why trust respect and love. I'll have to work together. You have to be on the same page. You have to want the same type of future But nobody's perfect, and you have to accept that there's going to be little things.
But it's not the little things it's how you deal with it. That's what makes or breaks love If you know how to deal with things and keep going forward. That's what makes everything happen. That's what makes life happy. But if one person has to have it their way , then there has to be either compromise or you figure it out But things start going downhill. If you can't figure it out or starts going downhill. If somebody has to be right No matter what the problem is , if you have to argue back and forth for over five minutes , then you're both wrong Then you have to do something else because that's ridiculous. I don't think you settle  Because no matter what, it's an investment. And since that investment is 2 different people
That has to know how to work itself and make things work

MrChinaski · Accepted Answer

Love is 1% inspiration and 99 % perspiration, and not all of the wink-nudge kind. Attraction is critical. But what matters is someone you can have fun with, trust, be vulnerable with, learn from, be challenged by and grow with; and who sees the same in you. Then it's the work of actually doing that.

I'm also not sure what a 'good match' is. You need the things I listed above. You don't need to share favourite colours, religiosity, political perspectives, dietary requirements etc. The last thing you want is to 'match' with yourself.

Just my 2c

Simslover92 · Accepted Answer

I think it's honestly neither. You shouldn't wait around for the perfect person because the perfect person doesn't exist but nor should you settle for someone who you view just good enough.

You should try to find the person that matches you as close as possible but know that there will always be differences there. It's not about finding the perfect person, but the right person for you.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

There's no "perfect" person and we're not perfect either. It's good to be humble enough to know the "core values" and chemistry that make you right for a person and them right for you.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Well, I've spent most of my life completely alone, romantically speaking so, for me, I'd take whatever comes along and HOPE that it turns out to be something great and lasting rather than to turn one down in order to wait for something better.
If I could have my pick any time I wanted it, THEN, I MIGHT just wait for the best option. But, another factor is that, with me, if I dump one figuring something else better will come along soon, something better never comes and then, years later, I discover that who I dumped because I was looking for something better would've actually been what I was looking for all along but, I just couldn't see that, at the time.
Kinda like if I'm on the corner with an option to catch 3 buses, each one will get me downtown but one takes 25:00, another takes 35:00 and the third takes close to an hour and I'd have to transfer half way there so, I opt for the 25:00 bus but, it's about 10:00 late, so far and I have no idea if it's coming shortly or has already gone by or just isn't coming (maybe it's broke down). Well, the 50:00 bus shows up next but I opt not to take that because it'll take the longest and is the least direct of the 3 routes. Then the 35:00 bus shows and there's no sign of the 25:00 bus so, I grab the 35:00! At least I'll get where I'm going, even if it's a few minutes late!! I get into town and I'm stuck at a red light for a few minutes but I see the 25:00 bus roll up to the bus stop about a block ahead of me and would've gotten me there exactly on time!! And the connecting bus I might've taken also shows up just before I get to my stop so, either of those would've actually gotten me there a few minutes earlier! So, had I stuck with my original plan, I would've done better.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Nah, that type of thinking is why so many people are single today.. There is no perfect person, and waiting for some magical destined, God given individual is a myth.. You make the right person, you both decide if you are right for each other and make it work.. There is no destiny of a right person like you're some main character..

Marriages in the past went about more of a convenient and functional route than letting "feelings" dictate if something is gonna work.. And it worked out because those people made it work if they were gonna be stuck with each other..

MrOracle · Answer

There's no "perfect person" except in RomComs, fan fiction, and in the minds of delusional people. Everyone has flaws, and I don't just mean minor, easily overlooked flaws, but rather serious ones. EVERYONE.

The important thing is to find someone who has the most important things (morals, values, and compatible life goals) and doesn't have major deal-breakers - and then you have to accept the flaws they do have.

People who don't understand or don't believe this truth will either be alone forever because they can't find a perfect person (, because there aren't any) or they will be blindsided by a character flaw in their partner that was always there but that they chose to ignore until they couldn't.

It's like when you are building anything of significance: you can have it done cheap, done quickly, or done right, and at best, you can choose 2 of the 3, but NEVER can you have all three, and you are lucky if you get 2.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Is it the guy in... Was it Beverly Hills 90210 ? I don't know, something about the haircut here

I haven't waited for the perfect person so far, I viewed (and I still view) several girls I've been with as the perfect person, when we were together, for a while. So the whole concept of waiting seems moot for me, because in practice I haven't"t waited and the perfect person still showed up in my vicinity.

I have settled, unconsciously, judging after the fact here, probably twice. One time for quite a wrong reason and it took me years to realize it. Another time maybe because I needed an easy and simple relationship after a stormy ending.

Once again, I'm with the perfect person. For as long as it lasts. And I hope it'll last forever, that would be nice :)

RichardCranium6201 · Answer

I think if ur looking for the perfect person u might end up letting yourself down. Cuz they don't exist. + if u are, u might miss the gem in front of u. So what I think and believe, is that every relationship we get in teaches us to be a better person. You walk away from someone, but now ur doing some thing u normally don't because of that relationship. So these are building blocks, preparing you for the right 1. But even after u find him/ her it's still not gunna be happily ever after. Both are still going to have to adjust to the other, and figure each other out. (Which to me is honestly the best part)... so don't worry too much about finding someone perfect. Having a wife/husband attitude will attract wife/husband attitudes..

SixFootSexy · Answer

Depends on how much you like being single and how much time you have to wait. Also, is your "perfect person" going to fall for a 40-50 year old you?

If the answer is no, then you should probably pick your "good enough" option.

Anonymous · Answer

I will tell you this from experience:

Most people who claim to have found "the one" didn't actually find a perfect person. They just found someone who they're so obsessed with that they are able to overlook their flaws.

Some people naturally have lower standards than others... And I find that its people with lower standards who tend to be married... those with higher standards never tend to find anyone

StarWarGirl · Answer

Depends upon the person's own personality and their needs and requirements. Depends upon what suits them best, what bring most out of them. Sometimes being with wrong person they gets more unhappy and lost themselves, but some people can flourish better with someone beside them. Some people lose direction in life staying alone so they need partner. So deponds upon what's suits them.

Tarifa · Answer

If you wait for the perfect person, you might always be on the lookout for someone else and only see the flaws in your current partner or date. I think that if your man (or woman) treats you with respect and shares at least a good part of your values and life goals, it's worth investing all your energy into making it work.

slatyb · Answer

the only real commitments are signing a joint lease or buying property together, and getting married. I think most people settle, but I don't think that's necessarily a good thing. One thing for certain: don't get married because your parents are impatient for grandchildren, or because all your friends are doing it. Shop around. If you've fallen in love with someone who is unavailable, keep searching until you find someone else who engenders that same feeling.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

None of the above, you make the perfect relationship with somebody. That is really great and you are really great with. There's definitely no perfect person, I have been with lots and lots of women. None of them were perfect, but with some of the right ones, if I hadn't been such an asshole, maybe we could have made something perfect.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Both. Wait for the right person but don’t be so picky that you ignore a wonderful person standing right in front of you.

abc3643 · Answer

Neither. The smartest thing is to maintain your freedom.

VioletHaze · Answer

The perfect person does not exist. Reflect on what you are willing to look past and what you can't. Then renegotiate constantly as you get to know someone. Not to settle, but to keep an open mind. Something real can grow from there.

NoDecision · Answer

No one is perfect, not one. You will be waiting a long time for that. But settling is not the best idea either.

exitseven · Answer

I was engaged to somebody but in the back of my mind I had doubts about whether she would be a good wife. Ultimately I broke up with her. I was glad I did because eventually I found somebody who is perfect for me.

queenofcardio · Answer

I have no interest in settling. I'm looking for someone that wants what I want out of life too. Life is too short to wait around for someone.

Shy-boy53 · Answer

I feel there is a someone for everyone in this world , but finding someone who is perfect is so very hard! Sometimes love really is accepting another person’s imperfections

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

No one is perfect, i pray for the right woman, as long as there's love, honesty and loyalty than everything else can be compromised

Billlewis · Answer

I think for women, it's the former, and for guys, the latter.

Abbycado · Answer

It was definitely worth waiting for in my case.

molonski2 · Answer

You should not do either , nothing is black / white like that..

Berethor · Answer

Well I am 38, I don't have time, as long as she is a virgin that is good enough for me.

sage2021 · Answer

I wouldn't settle because if I did I would only regret it.

Anonymous · Answer

Not that she "The One", but there was a girl that made me feel a certain way. That feeling needs to be replicated for me to consider someone for marriage.

AydenHazor · Answer

I didn't think there's only one right person for you, it's choosing to love someone day after day, and then choosing to love you the same, that makes them the right person

Snowman84 · Answer

It’s a matter of is he/she perfect for you or perfect using someone else’s standards. I don’t believe in perfect people and I think no matter who you choose, someone won’t approve.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Define perfect... I do not think that is worth waiting for. We all have our flaws and hangups.

Jeff51 · Answer

You can wait your entire life and still not find the right person. I'd say if yoy found someone close to who your looking for and most things match up then go for it.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Depends. If you're 18 then wait. If you're 35 then settle

Phoenix98 · Answer

I think both statements are true to a degree.

LiamS95 · Answer

I don't know about waiting for the perfect person... does such a person exist? I do think waiting for the right person is worth while thou.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Wait for someone who isn't perfect but you love them anyway.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Get in where you feel like fitting in. There's no risk in waiting, just spending the most valuable resource we have. Time.

Staximus · Answer

There's no such thing as the perfect person but there is such thing as good enough

msc545 · Answer

Perfect is the enemy of good. If you wait around for perfect, you may never find even good.

dragoblack · Answer

To settle, means to go full dive on a relationship that is unstable and won't work in the long term.

Dullie · Answer

Well all humans have floors all we should seek is a honest righteous person combined with good looks

NatalieReynolds · Answer

if they got money good enough. I ain't WAITING!

Shiprex · Answer

You should be flexible and not entitled

jahaims · Answer

Perfection doesn't exist

ZeeVQ · Answer

No such thing as perfection

Gexuoo · Answer

Nobody is perfect

CubaPirate · Answer

Absolutely

Should you wait for the perfect person or settle for someone good enough?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Should you wait for the perfect person or settle for someone good enough?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.