Are commitment and honesty in relationships becoming outdated now?

[MissSunshine2]

I’m talking about with men and women in general. I’m noticing ones on dating apps seem to be largely out for themselves. I’ve heard of lots of people just leaving relationships or marriages or holding off on dating, looking for something better; when I’ve been told that about thirty years ago, people weren’t as selfish on the whole.

I’m not joking. I’m so appalled by the blatant lack of respect a lot of people have for each other that I’m giving serious consideration to completely giving up on dating and just living a happily single life instead.

I know some great people, men and women, but I do think more and more people are out for themselves.

[Sangita93]

Honesty and commitment in relationships are not becoming "outdated" but are undergoing a significant evolution due to changing emotional bonding, social norms, technology, and economic pressures. In Indian Traditional Hindu Culture, unconditional, honesty and commitment were base of everlasting marriages. Early-stage commitments are less common in modern relationships. People are increasingly prioritizing career, earnings, over emotional maturity, shared values, and consistent, honest communication. Technology and the "Paradox of Choice" is making commitment and honesty harder to maintain or outdated. Most marriages were arranged or based on family values in the past, and they were – if not ever lasting, they were long lasting. Now endless options on dating apps create the illusion of a "perfect" partner based on target designed information, is one swipe away, causing people to treat relationships like consumer goods—something to be replaced, if not found suitable or reorganizable. Communication technology has made it significantly easier to cheat, hide real identity, dishonesty, and managing multiple connections simultaneously. These tools are forcing quick / instant decision making, that was long, slow work of building true intimacy in old social frame work, It seems boring or unattractive to new generation. Many individuals of new generation prioritize personal growth, career, and self-awareness over finding a partner through trusted social system, resulting in later and unstable marriage or voluntary singleness to enjoy independence. Historical relationships were built on trust and survival needs. Now it is based on (sexual) desire. Honesty and Commitment cost high – they are high valued characters. Rising living costs and personal financial focus make individuals are hesitant to take on the responsibility of a partner and family building – kids, and risk of failing their basic needs. New generation people are struggling to distinguish between having healthy boundaries, privacy and actually being dishonest because of their sky-high dreams. Because of this changing environment, commitment is changing from a "promise that lasts forever" to a conscious, short-term decision in relationship.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Dating has changed significantly from 30+ years ago. Part of this has to do with the introduction of dating apps and how it allows one to judge based on appearances first, appealing to very shallow parts of one’s personality. It’s also changed in that men and women are now on the same playing field legally, financially, and the most recent change socially. There is no longer an inherent box for women to fit into in western societies that stepping out of it makes you undesirable. Men still have something of a box, but that’s not really the point of what I’m talking about. With the introduction of no-fault divorce and now, a removal of shame from having a divorce in the first place, there are now people actively choosing not just themselves, but partners who actively make their lives better. And, at last known statistics, 80% of all divorces are initiated by women, which tells you which partner is actively making the other’s life worse. Men still stay in their box, follow society’s rules for men, and feel an immense weight of shame when they step outside of it, thus they default into gender roles leaving a great deal of emotional and domestic labor to the women in their lives. These same women decide that they don’t want to be someone’s replacement mother, but their own person, so they leave these men behind. You can shame these folks as much as you want to, but I personally think this is a good selfishness because it means these women aren’t giving up their lives for men who, at best, act as a live-in sperm donor.

[Master_Debator]

Pretty much how it is out there. Towards the end of my run in the sexual market place, I was pretty much sleeping with tons of women that were cheating on some guy that they use for money... or... women desperate for a relationship and thinks sleeping around will land them there and wondering why all the men don't want to settle down. I'm sure the female perspective is just as crass as mine, but I'm not a woman so...

There's also a lot of financially desperate people out there right now, so I don't blame people for not wanting to fuck with it at all because it's too expensive or they don't want to be used for money.

On the emotional front... that's also ruthless and cutthroat for the most part. Everyone seems to have problems, and a lot of people deal with those problems by shitting on other people for having problems of a different kind.

All I know is I'm off the market... too much work and I no longer think the juice is worth the squeeze. The things I did/seen has red pilled me on the fantasy of happily ever after, and I think it's just easier to not play anymore... for me that is, and it's a personal choice.

[molonski2]

Honestly , I think you are spot on , at risk of sounding like a " super old dude " which I kinda am , people are so incredibly self centred now.. there must be a reason.

Even here in Thailand it's become utterly mersonary , and I mean has changed a plethora in just 20 years , a Tinder profile the other day ( who Is suggest just ticked everybody ) not a young woman , but tidy for age " I look for sponsors to assist my life "

She hadn't met em yet ! So I could resist sending a message.. You want sponsors as in plural? What is your job? .. The answer back " What's wrong with that? " , I had so many choices when 28 - 40 about , and I don't think it would be like that if I were 30 now.

It's really horrible dating scene..

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you decode modern dating without losing your heart or your sanity 💘

You’re not imagining it. Apps made it way too easy to treat people as “options” instead of humans. Ghosting, situationships, endless swiping, lovebombing then disappearing… it all feeds selfish behavior.

But commitment and honesty aren’t outdated, they’re just rarer and harder to find in the chaos. Protect your peace, raise your standards, take breaks, even enjoy being single. Just don’t confuse low-quality behavior with “everyone.” The real ones still exist, they just don’t usually scream the loudest 😉

[HawkPerception]

Maybe I'm a little biased in this, but I think men are more honest than women in relationships. But honesth has definitely become more rare nowadays

[RavVid]

I think you are right. Dating apps do have a supermarket aspect to them. All these products available for your selection.

Was watching a youtube vid and it was suggesting high agreeability and low neuroticism were could qualities for both of a couple to have. It intuitively makes sense. An agreeable couple can agree better on conflicts. Less neuroticism means less emotional conflicts. In the US neuroticism has gone on a steep rise and at the same agreeability has been tanking. Somewhat better in Australia.

Where I am going is that with a supermarket view of dating if there is a blemish you don't buy... you can buy tomorrow. You will also have negative emotional responses to defective products. I can get quite angry if there are unsatisfactory products.

We want quality products very cheaply i. e. superb partners with little effort from ourselves. Which I think is out for yourself.

Not so long ago I might meet a girl and think she'd be good for me and I'd be really good for her. What I could offer her was a big part of my response. Now it is more focus on what do I get from her.

I was a lot younger back then though.

[Nikki1989]

No, it can seem that way with all the noise, options, and people whining about not being ready for real connection. Taking trolls seriously on websites like this one won't do you any favours, either.

It is not because commitment is outdated—it is because people are overwhelmed by choice and afraid of choosing "wrong". Again, the internet in general is not helping anyone. The worst dating advice I have ever read in my entire life has been on this very website.

[FreyaRed]

In brutalized huge societies, is commitment and honesty in relationships considered a weakness. With less technology and smaller societies this was an advantage. But now we are starving because we have too many food options we can chose and our nature is lead by greed. If we found one good we always think another one will be better.
I've been always prone to take the idea that our understanding of technology is too sophisticated compared with average mental and emotional capacity of population. We just come to the level where it starts to work against us.

[William7489]

I wouldn’t say commitment and honesty are outdated. They will always be noble characteristics. I think what you’re witnessing is a broader social change brought about by the Internet. People interact a lot less, the way they interact is a lot less personal and you have a lot of options now. For a lot of people maybe even a majority it’s just too tempting to settle down with one person? I think when you get a little bit older, everybody starts to look for that. When you’re young and kicking, nobody wants to be tied down, but when you start to realize that this thing called life, it’s a mighty long time and you might want to find somebody reliable, caring, and loving to spend it with

[HighValue]

By "people" you must mean MOSTLY women, because that is reality. After working with mostly women in schools for 16 years, I seriously dislike most women I encounter, don't respect them, and think most of them are horrible people. There are so many dishonest, unfaithful, sexist, thieving, women working in schools.

In my opinion, anyone, man or woman that won't agree to not having a smart phone when in a relationship is already LIKELY a terrible, immoral person.

[MissSunshine2]

Well, no I mean a lot of men and women. Not everyone of course.

[Sunglassesx11]

Honestly? They always were. I don't believe that as a society as a whole we have were ever been ready to be this emotionally invested in other people. Or that we were ever so emotionally intelligent sadly. We have put more weight on materialistic things but the emotional aspect of life after all.

Back then, people could just hide their affairs better cuz the internet did not exist. But trough the internet now, we are seeing things a lot clearer now.

[Phoenix98]

It shouldn't be if that is the case.

If someone's gonna be in a relationship with me then they need to commit to it if they are gonna half ass it then leave and don't waste my time.

[MissSunshine2]

I completely agree 🙂

[Phoenix98]

Mhmm.

[PolarPoint]

I think relationships that start in real life tend to be more respectful. In person, people who behave disrespectfully are less likely to be chosen, and you can understand what someone is like from their gestures and facial expressions. Online, it’s much harder to read those cues , you often only see the good sides people choose to show. Dont lose your hope please

[jshm2]

No. Americans and Israelis are dishonest bastards at heart, these days. So it's only natural they will reflect that in their relationships as well.

People with no trust, cannot form good relationships

[Anonymous]

No. Just to many do stupid 💩 and choose one bad partner after the next. If people would use their head a little more and pray to God for guidance this would go a long way towards cleaning up the dating pool.

[MissSunshine2]

There’s truth to that, too.

[MrChinaski]

The secret to success in business is honesty and fair-dealing. If you can fake that then you've got it made. Groucho Marx.

Same, same with relationships. For some.

[LC75LC71]

That's up to each and every person. If you just look at the internet, it's going to be shitty results. If you actually believe that honest and lasting relationships still exist, well that's another count for others that do. Power in numbers.

[loveyouoak]

Yes. These days, most people don't appreciate the person they're with. It's super easy for them to go after someone they think is better. That's messing with commitment and honesty in relationships.

[123459876]

Unfortunately it's not limited to just dating sites it's running rampant all over the world integrity honesty that's gone by the wayside pretty much because a lot of people can hide behind their computers and screen s

[aquamarine321]

The main things of any relationship is honestly and commitment, without these are it is then

[Anonymous]

I think it's less common but I still think a large majority of people are honest and commited.

[Matthieu_Paraplu]

Not in my circle of friends.

You have to find what you're looking for.