Have you ever experienced something called “unwanted attention aversion”?

[ElenaSeluna]

Like when someone likes you or gives you a lot of attention, but you don’t feel the same.. and instead of feeling flattered, you feel annoyed or uncomfortable…

I am curious to know how it ended.…

[FunkyMonkee]

Yes, a few times.
The first time was SORT OF UAA. I was in Jr. High School and, for a few days, I had to be careful where I went in the hallways because there were loads of girls chasing after me like I was one of The Beatles! If they saw me in the hall, they'd run after me, screaming like rabid fans!! I had to dash to the nearest bathroom to hide from them to keep from getting mobbed!!
In high school, there was this very short girl with long red scraggly hair and a voice that could peel paint and she was in love with me and, again, I had to be careful where I went so I wouldn't run into her. One day, she caught me, ran up to me in the hall, wrapped her arms around my waist begging me to be her boyfriend and refused to let me go!!
After high school, this really pretty girl I was somewhat interested in told me she knew of a girl that would be great for me and she tried to set me up with her but it turned out to be another girl I went to school with who was quite annoying and supposedly had a club foot! She didn't like me in high school and I was no big fan of hers, either!

[FunkyMonkee]

Another one I forgot about was this sick bitch that I met online about 25 years ago.
At first, I thought we might have something because we got on pretty nicely together and did a lot of chatting online, then exchanged phone numbers and talked a lot on the phone but, she turned out to be an evil psycho!!
One morning, about 3 hours before I intended to get up, she calls me up and just chats for over an hour! I'm tired, I wanna go back to bed so, when we finish the call, I hang up and start going to bed. I get 7 stairs up and the phone rings again!! It's her!! She starts chatting again and we're on for over ANOTHER hour!! I hang up and start going up to bed and the phone rings again!! I answer and someone asks for my brother, I tell them he's not here right now and then she starts talking to me!! GUESS WHO!! So, we talk for ANOTHER hour or so! By this time, it's too late for me to bother going to back to bed so, I just get on with my day. Yes, it WAS strange that she would ask for my brother by name since, as far as I knew, she didn't know he even existed!! But, I just let it slide, for now but it was on the back burner in my brain! Apparently, she called me once and he answered and she started talking to him and started getting sweet on HIM, too!!
One of the last times we talked on the phone a few days later, she mentioned having pet RATS and was thrilled that one of them was about to have babies!! She had a couple of her own, pre-schoolers, and, I heard her yelling at her LITTLE KIDS like a fucking sailor!! "GET THE FUCK DOWN FROM THERE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!! STOP PLAYING WITH THAT YOU FUCKING STUPID CUNT!!!" You talk to your KIDS like that? I'm CERTAINLY no prude about such language but, I was shocked and that sealed the deal for me right them and there!! I want NOTHING MORE to do with this fucking psycho!!!

[FunkyMonkee]

For some reason, my brother had been severely pissed at me for several years and we weren't talking all that time. So, one night, mom asks me to look up some place on my computer (Bobby had none and had no clue how to use them) and print out a map of how to get there. I did and she gave it to Bobby! Apparently, he was invited to a party but had no idea how to get there! It was about a 40:00 drive from here.
So, off he went to this party.
Next morning about 8 or 9:00, my parents wake me up to tell me they're going to go pick up my brother because he needs to be rushed to a hospital!! They go, with my aunt and uncle, who know the area better, over where this party was, to get him. Dad HAD to go with mom because Bobby took dad's truck and he would have to drive it home.
The phone call was that girl tasking them if Bobby was epileptic [he wasn't!] because he was on her kitchen floor vibrating uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth!!
They get him home after he went to the ER and they said he was poisoned!! All he remembered is having a glass of orange juice that morning. Apparently, she put rat poison in his glass!!
He even lost his memory for a while!! One day, he was sitting on the porch swing when the new mayor, a guy we've known and lived next door to since we were all babies, came walking past the house with his dog. Tommy saw Bobby and said, "Hi, Bob! How are you doing?" Bobby yelled back, "Who are you? I don't know you!!" Tommy said, "It's me, Tommy O'Toole! I used to live next door to you!!" Bobby yelled, "Go away!! I don't know you!!"
Thankfully, I never heard from that demented twat ever again!! I only hope someone tossed her skanky ass in jail for poisoning my brother!! It COULD'VE been ME!!!

[Finchie40]

Yes i have experienced that a few times throughout my life , with girls’ that I just considered friends’ that eventually wanted more than friendship with me , That wouldn’t take No for an answer , So the only way I could put a stop to it , was to be rude and disrespectful because the nice guy approach didn’t work at all, it just made it worse , by giving her hope that she has a chance. People don’t don’t know what the word No means , need to go back to school or seek therapy because they were raised thinking they do no wrong , another reason I can’t stand selfish people , that only care about themselves that think their shit doesn’t stink. Selfishness is one of my biggest turn offs in a girl , especially in a relationship, and why they all became my exes

[Nikki1989]

Yes, it can be extremely awkward.

[ElenaSeluna]

Definitely

[queenofcardio]

Eventually they go away.

[ElenaSeluna]

Yeah..

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to decode weird relationship feelings like this and make you feel less “broken” and more human 😏

Yes, I’ve had it, and a lot of my clients too. When someone crushes on you and you’re not into them, the attention can feel like pressure, not flattery. It usually ends one of three ways: clear boundary, slow fade, or full-on ghosting.

Best outcome: a kind but firm “I don’t feel the same way, but I respect you,” then reduced contact. That’s not being cold, that’s emotional hygiene, babe.

[Still-alive]

your 'clients' lol

[ElenaSeluna]

@Still-alive he is a businessman with clients.. leave him alone 😄

[Still-alive]

Thats how they 'get' you :P

[ElenaSeluna]

@Still-alive nobody can get me unless I want to 😏

[Still-alive]

I get you hehe :P

[ElenaSeluna]

@Still-alive you sure do

[Still-alive]

I gotcha

[ElenaSeluna]

@Still-alive don’t let me fall..

[Still-alive]

never!

[ElenaSeluna]

@Still-alive cute..

[Still-alive]

I think you are yeah 👍🏻

[OneViewpoint]

I'm probably not the "use case" that represents what you are talking about but, I'm an introvert with an extremely low threshold for so called unwanted attention aversion.

I try to fly under most people's radar most of the time. Why? Because I don't want to engage with them. I can't stand pointless polite small talk. And I suck at feigning interest when someone is droning on about every meal during their last vacation. So I've made avoidance of being dragged into those situations an art form, LOL. I avoid eye contact that would give them an opening. If they do try to engage, I give short curt answers. I ask no questions in return that would keep the conversation going. Sometimes they get the message and move on. But once in a while they see me as a challenge and it only motivates them to keep trying. That is a pain in the ass.

[ElenaSeluna]

I am more of an extrovert person.. but with some people it doesn’t matter, they will build a scenario about you in their heads even if you treat them like everyone else..

[OneViewpoint]

Yeah, that's another reason I keep strong walls up. Women (married or single) can go off the rails when they get a small amount of information about my background and use that to build a whole story around me in their heads. I'm talking a disturbing level of obsession at times. And the only way to keep that from happening is to totally lie about who I am. That doesn't feel comfortable. So my best option is to remain silent and not engage. But I can't stop one of my friends from bringing up my background in conversation when I'm not around. And then I'm left to handle the fallout, curious women, jealous husbands and boyfriends, women wanting details about me I'd rather not discuss, etc.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

On occasion, by people who were not that mentally stable lol but I'm largely protected from what you describe.

Because I'm not a good-looking girl aged 16 to 35.

[ElenaSeluna]

Funny 😄

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

And about how it ended, well, for at least 2 decades, I think I've been very open, socially, like very very open. Until I realized that being broadly open to quirkiness was a cute but naïve move from me, because some people are quirky and stable, whereas some are quirky and unstable. I had to learn how to filter...

[MidnightRivers]

No, very seldom, i think i make it very clear when I am not interested early on before anything happens. I would do so via not responding if online or not reciprocating their vibe in-person. I can be "politely" very blunt - generally almost always gets the message across. I like respected boundaries

[lightbulb27]

oh yes I had that bad in high school. This ghirl and still remember her was enamored with me and I dind't want anything to do with anyone at that time. its uncomfortable. must be worse being a female.

I survived. God bless her, hope she had a good life and found her mate. We all move on.

sometimes though it can be dangerous, so use your judgement.

[AgentG111]

Absolutely, she kissed me and pulled in close. Definitely wasn't anything I wanted from her. She was a stage 5 hanger.

[ElenaSeluna]

What is that “stage 5 hunger”?

[AgentG111]

A female who is close to a stocker but hasn't broken into your vehicle or home or made herself part of your life to your friends and family and you don't know about it.

[bowenw]

Yes. You just have to ignore them and hope they go away. That has worked for me.

[ElenaSeluna]

They won’t 😄

[bowenw]

If it's online, can you block them?

[ElenaSeluna]

It’s not online

[bowenw]

Have you told them to stop and that you aren't intersted?

[ElenaSeluna]

Multiple times.. but I don’t care that much tbh

[bowenw]

Hopefully they get the message that they are wasting their time and find someone that likes them back.

[Still-alive]

I'm sure a lot of us do this. i still try and be nice though if they haven't crossed any lines.

[Still-alive]

If they have i will tell them directly. no issues doing that

[ElenaSeluna]

I’ll do the same

[genericname85]

you mean boundary setting? cause that's how you avoid unwanted attention.

[ElenaSeluna]

Boundaries don’t work with everyone.. but yeah I always set my boundaries very clear..

[genericname85]

yeah gotta leave the one it doesn't work with behind.

[Tomislav7]

Me never. With women I try not being persistent cause im ugly so it wouldn't be endearing but rather harassing. So if ever express or am on speaking terms i hold back to see if the interests reciprocal. Also try to avoid looking at women ill check her out at a far but up close ill look elsewhere outta fear, inferiority, respect etc

[molonski2]

Oh hell yeah 100 % , from the age of 16 I attracted obsessives , no idea why.

And it is NOT a good feeling at all.

[KostasKouvalis]

OMG, YESSSSSSSSSSS! Story of my life! Especially when I was in school! The girls I like, don't want me, while the girls that are weird and gross are so obsessed with me. It's so annoying

[Bklynbadboy12]

I have been in a situation like that but if wasn't annoyed. I'm always flattered when someone is interested in me. They can help who they like no more than we can. But I do let them know I dont see them in that way and make sure I dont lead them on

[NicholasofAustralia]

Man you remind me with your avatar of some cool guy in some action movie. 👀 🍿 Damn man - why aren't you leading the men's magazines. I mean bro, go to Hollywood 👀 and get an agent 👀

[Hunter-40m]

I haven't felt uncomfortable I always answered back sometimes by sayıng no sometimes by sayıng yes

[Staximus]

A few times at the bar I used to work at with drunk girls

[TonyMetal___86]

I cannot be not nice to someone who is nice to me 🤷🏻‍♂️

[rapfan107]

I have but I try to be patient!! As long as they don't cross the line

[AngryCarl3]

It's definitely happened. I dread to think what it would be like if I was attractive.

[dudeinohio]

I'm kind of like that.

[ElenaSeluna]

Like what.. wdym

[dudeinohio]

I feel uncomfortable when I get unwanted attention.

[ElenaSeluna]

Yeah

[HairF3tish]

yeah and I had to be rough with the person and tell her directly to leave me the f**k alone

[Anonymous]

It’s happened. It really freaked me out.

[ElenaSeluna]

It’s scary sometimes.. yeah

[Anonymous]

It's happened to us guys too 😞😭

👁️ 👁️

Women can be such stare-bears 🐨 🐨 🐻

[Abbycado]

Yep, certainly have.

[whosnumber_1]

I think thats a pretty natural reaction.

[Levin]

Surely that's just called being a woman?

[ElenaSeluna]

Wdym.. both women and men do that

[MichaelTrump]

No I have never experienced that

[Anonymous]

It happened a few times.

[Anonymous]

I think everybody has to varying degrees.