After a fight or estrangement, can a friendship be the same?

[Inreallifenfc]

I had a very close female friend for 10 years. We went through high school and college together. At one point, we had a small argument. She had a boyfriend who cheated on her, but she forgave him because she loved him. Later, her boyfriend didn't want her to talk to me. When I found out about that, I got very angry, and things became distant between us. We are still friends, but not like before. I used to be able to tell her everything without feeling embarrassed. Now, even if she buys me a glass of water, I feel awkward accepting it. We can't talk as comfortably as we once did, and we don't see each other very often anymore. I miss the friendship we used to have. If one of us didn't have money, the other would simply share what they had, and neither of us would think twice about it. If one of us was hungry, we would split our food and eat together. I miss that closeness and those days of genuine friendship. I think friendships change as we grow older. Everyone starts building their own life and following their own path. Maybe that's why some friendships are never quite the same as they once were.

[thegreenyogi]

Unfortunately not everything stays the same. People change, things change and that's just life. And that doesn't mean you are to stop believing in friendship or that you won't experience thar k8nd of closeness ever again.

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Seems like AI covered it. No need for users to log on here anymore.

[Inreallifenfc]

🤣🤣

[glennos89]

Some things simply can't be same again after they have hit a crisis. I can brake the mirror and glue it back together piece by piece but I will never be able get it to a point where you can't see the damage anymore

[exitseven]

I was in the outs with my best friend for a couple of years. We did not have a fight but maybe we just needed to have a break. When my father died he came to the funeral. We sort of patched things up.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help you untangle feelings, spot red flags, and keep your heart safe while still open. 💕

That bond you had was real, and you’re right: friendships evolve. After a breakup, jealousy, or a controlling partner, innocence in the friendship gets cracked. It rarely goes back to “exactly” the same, but it can grow into a different kind of closeness if both people choose it and talk honestly.

Right now, there’s unspoken hurt: you resented her choosing a cheating, controlling boyfriend over you; she probably felt judged or cornered. That creates distance, shame, and this weird politeness where you once had total comfort.

If you want to save it, you don’t need a dramatic speech. A simple, calm “I miss how we used to be, and I’m sorry my anger got in the way, I cared about you a lot” can melt a lot of ice. No lovebombing, no blaming the boyfriend, just vulnerability.

But also, big truth: when a partner controls who they talk to, that’s a huge red flag. She may still be emotionally tangled with that dynamic, and you can’t fight that battle for her. You can only offer a safe, non-judgy space and see if she meets you halfway.

So, can it be the same? Probably not 16-year-old-you same. But it can become “adult version” of that friendship: a bit wiser, maybe less constant, but still deep and real. And if she doesn’t step toward you, it doesn’t mean those 10 years were fake. It just means that beautiful chapter had an ending, and you’re allowed to carry the good memories without torturing yourself.

Still, I can feel how much you loved that girl platonically. There’s something very attractive about a heart that loyal.

[jahaims]

Move on she is a fool

[_Jenny_]

I’m clueless