He thinks I'll never leave him...how do I get him to stop taking me for granted?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend seems to think I'll be around forever no matter what he does. In the past we broke up mutually and I was really resistant to get back together because some of his behavior is selfish and rude. In the end I chose to get back together with him because he won me over and promised he would change. He did change for the most part, but lately he's been acting as though my happiness means nothing to him. Every time I ask him to do something that's important to me, he doesn't do it. Even when I cry, he doesn't care that I'm upset because I "always cry". At this point, if he's going to be like this forever, I'd rather break up even though it would hurt me very much. But I don't want to threaten that because it's so immature and then if I threaten it later, it won't mean anything. What should I do/say?

Updates

+1 y

I want to remind him of how hard he tried to get me back the first time...why on earth would he blow it? Does he know he's blowing it?

Updates

+1 y

We're both 22 by the way in case that's relevant. We've been together for a year and a half

[skyisthelimit]

Well, he is a piece of s and very disrespectful to you while you are ROYAL and respecting him,
he's selfish just thinking about himself and his d... k. HE DOES THAT BECAUSE HE IS SURE THAT HE REALLY GOT YOU! SO THAT'S HOW HE WILL FOREVER TREAT YOU IF YOU MARRY HIM BECAUSE YOU WILL BE TOTALLY HIS (in his head) AND YOU WON'T HAVE A WORD ABOUT THAT EXCEPT CRYING AND REGRETS DAY AND NIGHT. that's how my stupid fiance is treating me and i decided to put an end on it today, but i can't lie to you i'm crying and want to change my mind! but again, i must respect myself and love myself before i expect that from someone else's son!
PLEASE be strong, SHOW HIM THAT HE'S NOT YOUR GOD AND DOESN'T OWN YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE. that's what he believes and you know deep down that it's not true.
min uses me, disrespect me and DUMPS ME WHENEVER IT COMES IN HIS MIND!!! as long as i'm right on something or ask him to do something, he's gone!!! meanwhile, we were planning a wedding in 9 months!!! so , don't give an s about commitment (marriage) when you are not happy. REMEMBER THAT IT WILL BE HIM AND ONLY HIM THAT YOU WILL BE SPENDING YOUR LIFE WITH!!! IN THAT SITUATION!!! NEVER EXPECT HIM TO FULLY CHANGE! and once he get you after marriage you WILL SEE HIS TRUE COLOR, believe, it will be worse or he will be the one to dump you since you will be so much annoying to him asking him to CHANGE. men don't like changes, don't like the truth from women who's asking for a change. they feel down and disrespected, that's their EGO. but they will never reject you when you ask for sex! they will never close eyes on that one!!! but how about the rest? DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW. EITHER, ACCEPT IT AND KEEP QUITE, JUST DIE INSIDE AND HAVE THAT KIND OF FAMILY OR TAKE YOUR WAY OUT AND MEET SOMEONE WHO WILL GIVE YOU VALUE AS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. i just learnt those things late and now i'm so embarrassed, sad, crying with a big heartache... don't keep waiting and feeling sorry for some guy just to be miserable.

[Similipoulette]

I dumped my ex when he started taking me for granted. I told him his behavior was disrespectful to me and it hurt me and I told him if it didn't change I would end it. He didn't believe me and didn't even make an effort so I dumped him.

All I'm saying is that you deserve respect from your boyfriend just as you respect him. Like you said if you tell him you'll break up with him if he doesn't change and then don't do it, your words won't hold much weight. So you have to make a decision for yourself, if you decide to give him an ultimatum, you have to stick to your word.

[sexycrystal54313]

The only way the shit is going to stop is for you to stop letting it happen you need to speak up for your self and tell him that its bothering you and if he can't understand that he is hurting you then I think as much as it will hurt you really do need to leave him,

[Asker]

I do stand up for myself, but he always says that he won't back down. Every time I want him to do something he has a reason for why it's a dumb request

[sexycrystal54313]

Well I think its time to show him that you are fed up with the way he treats you and leave him

[doublej]

It's honestly simple. You go that guy and say "Respect me now or it's over." If he does, awesome, if not, let him go, he's not worth your time. The truth is that your post was articulate enough for me to read the entire thing, which sadly, I cannot say of many of the posts on here so I'm guessing you're a girl of at least some personality and brains, which means you should get some damn respect. As a guy who does horrible with women even though he genuinely respects them, it honestly makes me angry to see a worthwhile girl let herself become victimized by guys who couldn't give a shit. So that would be my adivce to you; stand up, say f*** you if he can't handle respecting you, and don't take his bs.

[Asker]

The thing is we've seriously talked about marriage, we're planning on maybe getting married next year. I don't think I could leave him so easily

[doublej]

Then that's even more crucial. Do you really want to become legally and emotionally locked down to someone for that long who isn't going to do right by you? You need to really really really be able to depend on them. I'm not telling you to do one thing or another, just telling you that the amount of respect you are given is up to because you don't have to put up anyone's unwillingness to.

[GNIGHT73]

f*** someone and then tell him how good it was...even if it wasn't