I broke up with this guy about 2 months ago. Nobody's fault. He started to go through an identity crisis and we ended things smoothly and with tons of affection in between. Our nine months of relationship were fantastic and we never ran out of love, attraction, humor or amusement, but he had/still has to answer some important questions in his life.
I let him be, not looking for him, not asking him to meet. He's actually the one looking for me, asking me out, suggesting spending time together. We've behaved like a couple all this time too, kissing, making out, having sex. The difference is that we don't talk so often, we don't cover a dating fee, we don't hang out regularly, and we plan our life without considering a "life together". Like friends with benefits, but we keep all the emotional side too. We said this was wrong, because (he said) I was creating expectations of going back together, and this is unfair for me. So I told him OK, let's not meet, let's just text on occasion. He agrees and goes on vacation with his parents to some beach. I told him not to think about "us", to focus on himself and his needs and not to think about me. He nods.
Two days later he says he's doing well, and that it's impossible not to think about me so he basically re-starts communication. I don't get this. He's the one with the problem, he's the one that looks for me, yet he's the one telling me not to creat expectations... and he's the one coming after me again. I'm weak too, I know. I always reply and whenever we talk we're the happiest. What should we (or I) do to see the mistake in this? And if there is even a mistake? Or have we complicated things by breaking up in the first place?
His issues are: He doesn't know what to do with his life = job/living. Says he doesn't know what he wants/likes. Therefore finds himself frustrated and overall, unemployed. We broke up in order to grant him space and freedom to think things through.
I let him be, not looking for him, not asking him to meet. He's actually the one looking for me, asking me out, suggesting spending time together. We've behaved like a couple all this time too, kissing, making out, having sex. The difference is that we don't talk so often, we don't cover a dating fee, we don't hang out regularly, and we plan our life without considering a "life together". Like friends with benefits, but we keep all the emotional side too. We said this was wrong, because (he said) I was creating expectations of going back together, and this is unfair for me. So I told him OK, let's not meet, let's just text on occasion. He agrees and goes on vacation with his parents to some beach. I told him not to think about "us", to focus on himself and his needs and not to think about me. He nods.
Two days later he says he's doing well, and that it's impossible not to think about me so he basically re-starts communication. I don't get this. He's the one with the problem, he's the one that looks for me, yet he's the one telling me not to creat expectations... and he's the one coming after me again. I'm weak too, I know. I always reply and whenever we talk we're the happiest. What should we (or I) do to see the mistake in this? And if there is even a mistake? Or have we complicated things by breaking up in the first place?
His issues are: He doesn't know what to do with his life = job/living. Says he doesn't know what he wants/likes. Therefore finds himself frustrated and overall, unemployed. We broke up in order to grant him space and freedom to think things through.
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