My boyfriend is never jealous and never gets mad. Am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I have had a pretty good relationship for the most part, with me getting upset with things that he does here and there. the weird thing is that he NEVER gets mad at me for ANYTHING.

he NEVER gets jealous...not even a LITTLE bit. don't get me wrong, I don't want some controlling jerk, but showing a little jealousy makes it feel like he cares. I told him I was going out one on one for drinks with a guy who I barely knew from high school and he didn't even care. he says "i trust you" but every guy I've talked to said he would definitely NOT be OK with his girlfriend doing that because its almost like a date.

i just don't get it...he legitimately NEVER gets even an ounce of jealousy or upset with me over anything...

am I missing something? I feel like there's something off here

[Gone_But_Not_Lost]

This is a good thing believe it or not. It means he's level headed, and he trusts you completely. If you've given him no reason to feel jealous, why the hell should he start now? Jealousy isn't about caring. Jealous is not about love. Jealousy is about insecurity, and control, and nothing positive. If he's not jealous, it means he trusts you. It means he's secure in his relationship. It means that you have done a good thing. So stop your fucking bitching right now.

I am currently in a relationship with a girl who I've been with for about five years, and I've known for about nine or ten, and I've never once seen or heard her do anything that would make me think for a second that she can't be trusted. I trust her. If she was to tell me that she was going to hang out with some guy, I'd be alright. Just like she trusts me with whatever girl I hang out with.

Our relationship almost never has a fight, and the very few fights we had in all these five years have basically been misunderstandings and cleared up within 10 minutes or less. It's been the most easygoing and stable relationship I've ever been in, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. Does it mean we don't love each other? Does it mean that either one of us doesn't care? FUCK NO!

A person doesn't have to fight, or get mad, or get jealous. If you're not having to deal with this stuff, then it sounds to me like you have a pretty healthy relationship, and you need to fucking shut the fuck up and appreciate it. Because honestly, if this is your complaint, I invite you to come by sometime so you can watch me play the smallest violin in the universe, all for you and your so-called problems. Seriously. You have it good. Stop complaining.

Enjoy it.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

Some guys are more bridge brained than masculine brained - that is to say their brains synapse in a way that is similar to women. If he is pudgy he may also have an excess of estrogen and a deficit of testosterone in his body which would make him much more soft spoken and less prone to aggression. If you have been going out awhile he may just legitimately trust you. Generally speaking, jealousy is a very poor (and dangerous) gauge of love. Does he do romantic things to show he cares? Is he soft in other ways? Cuddly or more on that side of the equation? If so it maybe he is just that type of personality - I am the same exact way.

That said, if he has become distant I would watch out.

[ROTFLMFAO]

women get mad. kids get mad. it has nothing to do with testosterone. in fact, masculine men never get mad. they keep their cool no matter what.

[SevenWindsNineMoons]

I said aggression, not mad. Mad is an emotion, aggression, generally, is a product of testosterone (which women and men both have in differing quantities). Masculine mind is prone to more logical and spacial thought but also prone to more aggression because aggression when positive, leads to ambition and drive. Masculine man never get mad? Since when? Where is the scientific study that points that out, exactly?

[Expertalpha]

That's about the stupidest thing I have ever read. Coming from a guy that is studying psychology and took 4 years of self evaluation from my own therapist I can tell you what you said is crap. Any kind of jealousy or anger results from the need to control. When you can't control something you get angry. You shouldn't need to control your girlfriend and you shouldn't need to be jealous because if you have real confidence without a doubt it shouldn't phase you. All that testosterone crap is bullshit. All of us men have it. Woman can smell an insecure man a mile away and insecurity does not equal more testosterone. your reading way too much into it. Insecurity is weakness. Jealousy and anger are a sign of it

[Anonymous]

Maybe he's just an easy going person, who just trust you.

Omg so horrible to have someone who can effortlessly put up with your crap, and not be overly possessive.

You know what happens in marriage? Your husband and you, will have other people of the opposite gender to hang out with.

Guess what? That means he'll be going out for drinks with some chick friends of his, and you'll be going out for drinks with some guy buddies of yours.

Is that a date? Or just spending time with friends?

So what sense does it make for him to get all envious of a guy your just having drinks with in a friendly manner?

Obviously he's not insecure in your guy's relationship, he's not sneaking around behind your back - so what's the issue?

I don't understand why people do this?

WE beg and beg for a good relationship where there is trust, no jealousy, love, caring etc - we get it and we're still not satisfied?

WTH?

You don't want a jealous partner - it causes a sh*t load of problems, mistrust, and even cheating.

That " they should be jealous," crap is such a high school mentality. This person has to be possessive and hateful of other men or women to prove they like you?

What?

So his trusting you, loving you, and being there for you doesn't mean he deeply cares for you?

Ay.

I don't understand how people think sometimes.

No offense to you - your not the first girl ( it's always girls, ) who talk about your partner in regards to being too jealous or not jealous enough.

Why should such a bitter mentality like jealousy dictate someone's love for you?

How on earth does that logically make any sense?

[at_first_sight]

agreed.

[venera]

I have the same problem...and yesterday we had fight about it..he wanted to get engaged, but with all this ''i trust you'' I am starting to feel like I have bee married 20 years...and the time for that is going to come one day..I just don't want it now! if he makes me feel that way now..I think it will be nightmare later! We are so use to each other..and oly the jealousy can fix that and show that even if we are use to each other, the love is still there! that's something you need to prove and that's one good way of doing it!!!

We need to feel that jealous, because it makes us secure and the feeling is great! It makes us feel wanted! I don't know what you don't understand guys, but if that totally leave my relationship, I am starting to loose interest ad the things changes..it makes me think about ways to make him jealous... and believe me, in the end of the day, that is going to end up like a huge trouble...

[Marcussg]

You do see how dumb that sounds right. If you require jealousy when marriage is about trust then don't bother getting married.

[darkorchid]

I like your boyfriend! He sounds like a secure, stable guy. I think jealousy is an ugly emotion and anger gets you no where- maybe he feels twinges of these emotions but is able to control them and deal with situations in a healthier way. Him trusting you is a good thing! Focus on that and the positive emotions he shows you instead of his lack of negative ones :P

[Anonymous]

perhaps he's socially mature when it comes to dateing or does not know how to express jealousy so he just doesn't.

do you know what his parents are like? that could have allot to do with his views. either he likes how his parent's relationship was so he want's one like that or he hate's how they were so he's trying to do the opposite.

for me my dad is quite a bit older than my mom so as long as the girl is over like 19 I don't care she's a few years younger than me.

[jada771]

My boyfriend sound a little similar to your boyfriend but he does get a little jealous, I think maybe because your boyfriend has many female friends an goes to meet up with them himself it obviously doesn't bother him what you are doing . I would find that very strange and annoying you should talk it out with him. Make sure he's not playing you