My shy, introverted guy can be really inconsistent and I'm hoping to find out whether this shows problems or not. He has a pattern of going a few days acting really into me - very affectionate, doing lots of little things to do to show he cares, being more emotionally expressive and cuddly and tells me things he doesn't tell most people.
But then after one or two days of this, when I see him he'll talk about being tired, he will have a flatter look on his face, he will have one-word answers when I make conversation. He admits he can be moody. And this pattern is driving me crazy.
He doesn't cancel our plans. He contacts me when he says he will. If I bring up the withdrawn behavior and ask for reassurance he lets me know it isn't due to anything I have done - and the next time I see him he is back to making an effort to show he's into me.
We still hang out when he gets in these moods but when it happens I worry that he regrets opening up, or I upset him and he isn't telling me. It also makes me angry to think it might always be like this because it can feel REALLY manipulative. I'm falling in love with him but I don't think I can be in a relationship where the guy is so inconsistent towards me all the time! Sometimes I just want to walk out on him when he's in these moods, but if he can't help it then I don't want to hurt him either, and I don't wanna be a drama queen ;)
So is he being "hot and cold" or is this some other thing that guys do that doesn't relate to how much they like a girl - like does he just wear himself out from all the emotional displays, or does he withdraw so he can feel independent like a man again? How likely is it that he will always be like this? Is there anything I can do that will hopefully lead to more consistent behavior from him?
But then after one or two days of this, when I see him he'll talk about being tired, he will have a flatter look on his face, he will have one-word answers when I make conversation. He admits he can be moody. And this pattern is driving me crazy.
He doesn't cancel our plans. He contacts me when he says he will. If I bring up the withdrawn behavior and ask for reassurance he lets me know it isn't due to anything I have done - and the next time I see him he is back to making an effort to show he's into me.
We still hang out when he gets in these moods but when it happens I worry that he regrets opening up, or I upset him and he isn't telling me. It also makes me angry to think it might always be like this because it can feel REALLY manipulative. I'm falling in love with him but I don't think I can be in a relationship where the guy is so inconsistent towards me all the time! Sometimes I just want to walk out on him when he's in these moods, but if he can't help it then I don't want to hurt him either, and I don't wanna be a drama queen ;)
So is he being "hot and cold" or is this some other thing that guys do that doesn't relate to how much they like a girl - like does he just wear himself out from all the emotional displays, or does he withdraw so he can feel independent like a man again? How likely is it that he will always be like this? Is there anything I can do that will hopefully lead to more consistent behavior from him?
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