Why does my boyfriend seem so cold ?

[Anonymous]

I've always known he was a little aloof and distant, but that's what always made me like him more.he is my first & only boyfriend.

but In the 2 1/2 years we've been together I've noticed how really unemotional he is. He doesn't react to things normally, and I know guys usually mask their emotions, but I've never seen him be emotional even a little bit.

Like the other day we found out his grandma (who raised him for most of his life) was in the hospital and when I tried to get a reaction all he said was "she's probably not gonna make it" and that's all.

Or another time a long time ago we were on the highway and we drove past a very horrific car accident. I couldn't handle it so well and when I looked over at him he was just emotionless , and wasn't even paying attention anymore and he really didn't mind what he saw.

When we got home that day I got frustrated with him (which I shouldn't have had) and I began to curse and ask what was wrong with him and if he really even loved me. He looked very lost and confused which made me more mad. He just kept asking "what do you want me to do ?" over and over.

Another thing is he never says he loves me too he just says "thanks" or he kisses me or says "me too" he hasn't said it back before.

When I cry he doesn't know what to do and he just stares at me like a confused child.

When I ask how he feels about something he shrugs or says I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like I'm being irrational, but I just want some type of emotional reaction from him...so I feel like he loves me too because I love him more than anything.

Other than that he's not mean to me, and he's physically affectionate and we have a great sex life, and he buys me tons of things.(that I really don't need him to) so I can't complain. its only the emotional side of things. sometimes he does things I don't understand and that I'm wrong about who I think he really is.

Am I overreacting ? Could something be wrong with him or am I just expecting too much...

Please be honest

[Anonymous]

He's never going to make you happy. You'll just get more and more frustrated trying to get some emotional response from him, that he's not capable of giving you.

You'll get more certain he doesn't love you - you'll do silly desperate things, like try to make him angry or jealous, just to ellicit a recognisable emotional response. And he won't give you one. He'll just ask if you want to break up, and if you say yes (in anger) he'll just acquiesce and let you go.

He won't fight for you, or the relationship. He will expect you to mean what you say, and if you angrily tell him you're through, he'll just take that on board, and if it upsets him you won't be able to tell.

Some guys are like this - their emotional spectrum is very faint. And you (like most girls, to be honest) need the sturm und drang of a more emotional partner.

[Asker]

:/

[Anonymous]

You can't force emotion out of people unfortunately.

You've got to talk to him.

[LoveLust]

If you are really desperate to get him to react then you could try an all or nothing thing. Try making him emotionally cornered, he'll eventually snap and show some emotion. It's not the best idea, but it most likely will work. It will piss him off, but it'll get him to release some emotions. I can't guarantee it will work for the better. It might force your relationship to an end, and it might change who he is. It really depends on your approach, and his current state of mind (which sounds like he's hiding). Good luck!