Questions: Relationships

I am 29 and never had a real girlfriend. I have wanted a girlfriend so badly ever since I was a child, but I have never been able to achieve that. I haven't even kissed a girl in over 8 years now.

I just cannot give my heart to a woman who has loved another guy before me, especially from her youth. It doesn't feel fair to give my heart fully for the first time to a woman who has given hers to someone before me, especially from her youth and especially to multiple guys. Me and a woman can no longer say we knew each other during our youth. That is missed time we can never get back.

I have a feeling I am going to live agonizing loneliness the rest of my life. That may be my burden I have to bear. But my question is, will my rewards be in the afterlife and will I have my chance for love then?

I have a wife who cooks for me, cleans for me, gives me financial advice, and pleases me sexually.

I personally provide for her as we are in a traditional relationship. She's been with me through the worst times and helps me through the thick and thin.

I was her first. The first man to have sexual experiences with her at least and she gave her my virginity. I've only had 1 body, for I'm a religious person and would ideally want to wait for marriage.

We were thinking of talking about children in the future, and she would be willing to give me my first daughter or son. We read our Bible together and she stays in the means of boundaries that I've set for her.

She has no guy friends, no drama, and she's an honest woman. It's my goal to provide for my family and since my love language is gift giving, I get her little small gifts like some 20 dollar shoes every few months, or take her out to nice little restaurants.

At times, even when my money's low I still get groceries to show that I love her dearly.

I was just wondering if I was being a simp. We're both quite happy. She makes art of me, and small collages of our moments, and collects sentimental items from our past for rememberable times we had.

I can't tell if I'm simping though or if I'm doing okay.

Someone who's beautiful from outside, but hideous from within.

or

Someone who's ugly from outside, yet with a dazzling personality.

- There's wisdom behind this question.

Just wondering what’s your views on this? Would or wouldn’t you date them? And what would your views be too?