Religion & Spirituality

Life's Lessons for the Real World

Lifes Lessons for the Real World

You are not given a choice to come into this world. It just happens and you don't get to decide. As a child, you grow up and do what you're told because you want to be good. Having abusive parents, you realize that no matter what you do you will never be good. You grow up and want to be liked. The only way you have found others to like you is to be similar to them. You end up sharing their interests and help them when needed. This always ends up being toxic because it turns into a one way friendship and you get walked on all over. You decide to change your tactic and just be yourself and you end up being alone. Being alone is very lonely so you end up manifesting your life with a man. He shows up and you convince yourself that he's perfect even when he's not. You enter into a relationship that turns into marriage that doesn't work. You give as much as you can because you so desperately want someone to love you. He ends up taking every single thing you allow him to...independence, self-esteem, everything that makes you who you are. One day, you wake up. All of this pain and misery has taken over your life and it's all you can see. Your dreams and fantasies don't exist because they will never come true. You are stuck in this life that you didn't want to be in.

I let me husband sell my car after we married because he said it didn't make sense to have two cars. I quit my job because he made me feel guilty because I worked so much. I let his friends and family treat me badly. I even injured my back working and couldn't move and was helpless on the floor. I needed to go to the hospital and there was nothing I could do. After 14 hours, my husband tossed me my cell phone so I could call 911. I had always been healthy, but I ended up getting a herniated disc that needed surgery. As if this weren't enough, a month later my cat dies who was my only companion that I put all my positive energy into. This was truly my rock bottom.

I set goals because I wanted to change my life. I need to rehabilitate myself and make my body strong. I saved as much money as I could making things and selling them online. I told myself that if I saved enough money it would mean freedom for me. I even saw an online therapist a few times to help me with my self-esteem. Everyday I meditate for an hour and manifest the life that I want. Please UNIVERSE if you are listening, this is what I want my life to be. I think something starts to happen because I see 11:11 or 1:11 everywhere without even looking. It's gotta be a sign!

In this moment I have never felt so defeated in my life. When does the struggling stop? I saved up enough money for a new car. There is not one new car to be bought within a 300 mile radius of where I live due to a chip shortage. I saved up enough money for a divorce, but my husband refuses to be available to have papers served to him. My health comes and goes and I'm starting to think it's mostly due to stress and anxiety that I bottle up in my body. There is no way out of this life. It will be a struggle until I die. Working hard doesn't fix things. Is life a struggle for everyone and people hide it better than others? I can understand why people take their own lives. I can understand why people will take another persons life. Before this moment, I thought those people were crazy and had issues. I now understand completely!

What do I do? In this moment, there is no way out. It doesn't matter how hard you work. It doesn't matter how hard you try. You get kicked down so you get back up again only to repeat the process over and over and over again. Why on earth would I keep getting back up again anymore. It's pointless. I truly believe that your life is predetermined for you. It won't work if you fight against it. I am stuck in a life that I don't want to be in.

Life's Lessons for the Real World
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