Religion is Not a Place for Children

[NZGirl07]

My opinion on why children being involved in religion is wrong

My Story

From the age of 4 I was raised in the Jehovah's Witnesses (JW) religion. The religion professed to be the 'truth' about life, and as a child, I was impressionable and became brainwashed to believe all their teachings, as I was unable to think for myself at such a young age. I was taught that you had to be a JW or in Armageddon, 'judgement day' for the earth, you would be killed. I wasn't allowed to celebrate any holidays, no Christmas, birthdays, mothers or fathers day, Easter etc. I was impressed with sexist teachings that men are the head of women, that women must dress modestly so as not to mislead men (?) and so on. I had to attend weekly meetings and study JW material. This led to me feeling immensely uncomfortable with myself, being unhappy with life, and worrying for my friends and non JW siblings that they would be killed by god. I was taught not to be friends with or date anyone who wasn't a JW. I was only able to leave the religion at 14 by beginning to date someone outside of it, giving myself a reason to leave. After this experience, I began to realise that including any child in a religion is wrong.

Children are unable to choose their beliefs about life yet, forcing a religious view on them permanently affects their brains, making it hard to choose for themselves later in life

All religions claim to hold the true story to how life begun. There are thousands of versions of this story, and depending where a child is born they are taught that one of these is correct. As a child, they are completely impressionable, and will believe anything their family says is true. You could argue that children do disagree with their parents sometimes and question teachings. However, when they are taken to church, meetings etc they are taught these stories relentlessly, often week after week, around people who all believe this is the truth. This makes it very hard for a child to question these teachings, and even if they do choose to leave 'their 'religion like I did, it is hard for them to start afresh and choose their own idea of what life means, or what religion to follow. Even as an ex Jw of 6 years, sometimes I will still get their teachings popping up in my mind, and although I don't believe them anymore, I still have an uneasy feeling in my head, simply because I was taught these things for 10 years and exposed to them constantly, making them hard to forget or completely dismiss. Children are unable to consent to many things because they are too young and easily influenced to make proper choices. I therefore believe children are also unable to consent to being a member of a religious group, a thing that will change how their brain works, and therefore should not be taken to any religious meeting, or be allowed to be baptised, or otherwise considered a member of any religious group.

No one should be allowed to attend religious meetings or be a member of a religious group until they are 18

In my country, 18 is the age you legally become an adult. This means you gain the right to full autonomy over yourself, as you are considered mature enough to understand life and make decisions for yourself. At 18, you can choose to take substances such as alcohol which alter your brain, to consent to marriage and so on. Therefore, at 18 when someone is considered to be able to consent, a person can then consent to joining a religion, a thing which will alter their brain. Even if they have been taught about religion at home or elsewhere before then, they will likely have a greater ability to choose their own religion if they wish, as they won't have been baptised into a religion, often making it harder to leave. They will not have attended church or meetings, meaning they will not feel as trapped in by a community of people influencing them to stay in a religion and act a certain way.

Religion Causes Harm to Children's Development

https://slate.com/technology/2014/07/is-religion-good-for-children-secular-children-can-distinguish-between-magic-and-reality.html - here is an article which discusses scientific studies that have been done.

Studies have shown that religious children are less able to distinguish between fantasy and reality, are more likely to hate themselves due to not fitting ideals for their religion, and are more likely to have mental health issues during puberty, due to existential crises about the religion they have been brought up in. Studies also show that generally, religious adults are not happier than their secular peers. So, there is harm in introducing children to religion. Why not let them make an informed choice of their own later in life? If you are uncomfortable with this, it is clear you are wanting to force your child into your own beliefs, instead of letting them acquire their own. If you think god exists, why would 'he' require children who cannot consent, to worship him before they even know what that means and if they really want to?

Drop your opinions in the comments, I would love to have a respectful debate :)

[monkeynutts]

I think it depends on the religion and depends on the parents, I personally don't think highly of any Christian denominations, Christianity has been forced into peoples of all age groups for centuries, one argument from someone was that there decisions were poor before they found the Bible, personally I think that statement is stupid, because morality is generally something that is universal, and often religious people are the worst humanity has to offer. Anyway it's important to surround yourself with good wholesome people, some of them might be a little religious, some might not.

[BCRanger10]

Thank you for sharing. Please be patient, as this will be long.

As someone who was raised in and continues to practice the Catholic Faith, and as have many of my friends, and as I am doing with my own son, I am going to respectfully, yet still very strongly disagree with you. My experience and observations resemble very little - almost nothing, in fact - of what you've shared.

First things first. Parents have the right to raise their children in their religious beliefs. In the Catholic Rite of Baptism, parents are charged to be the first teachers of the Faith to their children. Some are better about it than others, in both style and substance. That's simply a fact of life in all things. Teaching and formation require repetition. Repetition and routine are important to living a healthy and balanced life. What I conclude here is that you're not making an important distinction, which is that between force and formation.

That said, the consent of children in important matters like the formation of thought and rules for life with religious faith (and anything, really) is irrelevant. If the consent of children is parents' primary concern, then we should expect more generations of soft, unhappy, and uncooperative narcissists who don't know how to think, don't know how to be strong and persevere through difficulties, don't understand or respect authority, and don't consider or rightly fear the consequences of bad choices.

Now as for the last part of the article, forgive me, but I've read enough from Slate to know that they are entirely unreliable due to their left-wing bias. Even if they do refer to actual scientific studies, there's no reason to believe that they have done so completely, accurately, honestly, or fairly. And lest I be accused of attacking a left-wing site as a religious conservative, I have also criticized outlets like Church Militant, The Daily Wire, and other such conservative sites that I tend to agree with.

And to your last point, in all charity, you are presuming that discomfort is driving disagreement. And no, it is not clear that I want to "force my beliefs" on my son. To give a full treatment of those last few points would require me to go on longer than I already have and get into points which would be better addressed in further comments or in a response article altogether.

[NZGirl07]

Hi there. Thanks for your respectful response.

I agree teaching children and repetition is important. I also agree considering children's consent for everything as the gentle parenting movement does is silly and unproductive.

However, I think religion is a very distinct and separate matter. Fair enough for not replying on a specific news website, however many government studies you can see on Google, and pages such as the guardian discuss the impact of religion on children, including religious children judging other children more harshly and having less empathy, and struggling in math and science in comparison to secular raised children.

Including children in religion is not the same as putting them into an activities club or teaching them how to read and write via repetition. It is teaching them your version of the world truth/how to live and perceive everything at such an impressionable young age, where they cannot think for themselves or rationalize what you're saying.

As a kid raised in religion, first catholicism and then Jehovah's Witnesses, my experience was that I found it extremely hard to think for myself when I got to an older age of awareness, I was already indoctrinated and told what to believe in. Even considering other religions that I might be interested in is hard, as I have this "objective truth" I was taught as a child stuck in my mind although I disagree with it now.

Surely, introducing religion to your kids in their teenage years is not a harmful option, instead they can better listen, and analyse if they actually what to partake in that, and believe it, as consenting mature person's.

I think teaching your child good morals doesn't mean you have to say be good to go to heaven, to avoid hell or to please this man called God. Teach them good morals for the good of all humans and themselves, instead of them being good only to please a higher spirit.

[SimpleGuy95]

I would disagree mostly because I experienced my childhood also coming from a religious background in brighter lights than you, I come from a Christian family and my childhood was less legalistic, meaning religion less something that felt I have to do this or that it was more like there is some rock or something you can build your life on.
I grew up with a bible in the house and I also grew with some traditional like we´re allowed to use electronic devices on Sundays, we prayed before every meal, we began eating together... But there was always an explanation for it (not like: Scripture says so...)
Like my parents tried their best to explain me and my younger sister, the reason why. We also had differences to other Christian families for example were my parents not that strict with church. We didn´t go every Sunday to church and that wasn´t a huge deal because my parents were more interested in making faith a part of our life than make religion our life. Like we always had a life besides the faith, but I also come from a rather egalitarian background where there weren´t strong hierarchies or anything similar.
You could argue that religion brainwashes children, but there surely people that could say about any other belief system or ideology (materialistic evolutionists, relativists,...)
I for example come from a country where children can choose their religious view at the age of 14.
So I´m generally open to people that choosing their religion/faith when they are old enough but I think you´re view is deeply influenced by growing in the community of Jehovah Witnesses because they are generally very strict concerning leaving their community so they start from a young age making you want to not do it. Because there is a deeper problem behind that if say kids shouldn´t be part of a relationships the consequence would be that you take them from their families and let the government educate them completely. That way you would also destroy their connection from their families for good. So it´s also a deeply problematic method because the government can also manipulate kids in believing their parents are evil. Like is that any better? Raising generations of humans that have no deep bonds to other people?

[NZGirl07]

Thanks for you story and insight. I would agree my view on religion has been influenced by my upbringing in a cult. But also, I've considered the teachings of other more "normal" religions. I'm glad your upbringing didn't feel detrimental to you. I can't help but feel that like isn't the norm however, as many christians strongly impress on their children teachings that are detrimental such as how they will go to hell if they don't act right, and I think that is terrifying for a child. Muslims are another huge religion that make it almost impossible for members to leave. The age of 14 in your country is at least a better solution. I agree the government should never be taking children away, however I think there are certain things children need to be kept away from for their safety.

[Anonymous]

Just because of your experiences doesn’t mean religion is bad for children. Gods words and Gods path is the right path. Why is it okay to force people to accept LGBTQ views today and not religion? When I went to public school and high school I had teachers that made me hate reading and doing work because they sucked at teaching. I went to night school to upgrade my courses to get into universities. Eventually I did, I got my honours, I’m in grad school now. But I appreciate the profs and TAs I’ve had.

We live in times that have been prophesied. The coming of the Imam and Jesus will happen one day, God knows best. I don’t care who dislikes this post or doesn’t agree with it. But one day, God will tell Angel Gabriel to sound the skies where the entire world hears it, there is no escaping Gods truth. I myself have to work on myself and I don’t want to judge others but God has given us this world and the resources and food and water we need to survive. To be clear, religion should NOT be forced on to kids. But it should be taught by parents, the right way. I’ll leave it at that.

[trumpets310]

I think children should be taught about every major religion at school. They should know what they all stand for, because religions are socially and historically important. I don't oppose people becoming religious if they want, but I see so many experiences like yours where kids are indoctrinated and repressed by a religion from a young age. Instead, I think learning about all kinds of religions is helpful - most religious people are in that religion just because their parents introduced them to it. If people had a thorough understanding of more religions, more people would be agnostic or willing to switch religions based on what they consider to be the actual facts, rather than just what their parents say is true

[NZGirl07]

That's also a good opinion. Giving people a choice is key. Thanks for your input.

[Seinna]

The same can be said about any kind of ideology and religion is only one of them. Even lying to children about Santa Claus is one of those things. At the end of the day, it is the parents who decide how to raise their children and what to teach them. Some religions are worse than others, it just depends. In most cases parents really do want what's best for their children and there will always be strangers who will judge them no matter what they do... but they are free to have children of their own and raise them however they want to as well. It's all completely subjective anyways. It only becomes toxic when you decide for them and don't let them make the decision for themselves when they mature. I think what's worse is negligence and it's more and more common, children are raised by the state instead of by their parents who are both working all days.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Would you let your child pet a shark because they wanted to? Would you physically restrain them? Well I think you know where this is going.

No sample size of children mentioned in the link you left.
These were studies... not end all be all.
... And yet, there is often more than one successful method of doing things: people are throw around the term "science" without knowing what it is.

Whether it is religion or something else, children will be taught what their parents know and think is beneficial. If a parent believes greens are healthy, they will find a way to add it to their food even if the kid doesn't like it. No harm intended. Is it against their will? Yes.

If a child wants to become an MMA, the parent may still send the child to medical school or some other other of education.

[LovingLoverReturned]

Some people would be better off escaping reality of the world.

In fact, they watch movies in hopes of escaping.

What is your biggest problem is not for many.

[art84]

I have two nephews that want nothing to do with religion. They liked going to church when they were little but as they grew into teenagers, they both don't want my mom forcing religion on them. I grew up as a Catholic and it wasn't until the age of 10/11 years old my family left the church. We became Baptist and towards 2005 switched to Christian/Non-Denominational. I don't have children but if I did, I would definitely teach them about the bible and stuff. If they choose to not want nothing to do with church then I honestly can't force them to believe in what I believe.

[Ghostluck]

I don't have a dog in this fight, since I wasn't one of those parents who forced Religion down my kid's throat. She asked me what I believed when she was around 12, I explained it to her and then encouraged her to discover for herself as to what she believes.

However, if a parent has no choice about when other topics are forced down their kids throat, such as transgender/gay/lesbian pronouns, CRT and anything else that has indoctrination tendencies, depending on how these subjects are taught, then you can't expect parents to stop indoctrinating their kids with religion.

The world is full of indoctrination, some the parents have control over, some they do not. So if somebody wants it to stop in the religious aspect, they also need to stop with all the other types as well.

[Daniela1982]

Jehovah's Witnesses, according to Walter Martin in "Kingdom of the Cults", are not Christians, but a cult. For instance, they don't believe in Hell and Believe that Jesus was Michael the Arch Angel. So you just got involved with the wrong religion is all, and religion is indeed for children.

[NZGirl07]

Definitely a cult. But also, is teaching children about hell any better? That's an extremely scary topic for a child, I'm sure if it were a horror movie no parent would allow their child to watch it, but they're happy to teach them they have to act in certain ways or they'll burn in hell?

[Daniela1982]

You don't teach them that kind of stuff. That is for older children. For small children you read to them out of Bible story books. None of those will even mention hell.

[globetrotter22]

I like how you said that “no one should be exposed to religion” until there 18 but at the same time leftist want grade school children to be able to decide their genders and to become “educated about it” via taxpayer funded programs in public schools.

[NZGirl07]

That's another separate issue I have made no comments on. Wrong place to argue that.

[OldSchool_Metalhead]

I'm a pagan. But if I had children, I wouldn't force my beliefs on them. When they grow old enough to be aware of my beliefs and what I do, I would make an open discussion about it. If they have questions like "you believe this but this person says THIS is true, why?" I would answer and show that the world has vast beliefs (and lack thereof). It's better for a kid to be informed of it instead of forced into it.

[Anonymous]

That tends to be how cults work. If you target the children, while they are young and impressionable, you can convince them of almost anything- especially when you use fear as a tactic. Those children grow up so terrified and unaware of how to live in the real world, that often times they stay within the religion because they don’t know what else to do. Then those adults teach their children, and so on.

[NZGirl07]

Yep 100% true.

[Anonymous]

How was it leaving at the age of 14? Did they give you a hard time about it, or did they just let you go and not make much mention of it? I have a friend who left that religion when he was about 21 or so. He just quit attending and I think he was lucky in that he wasn't given a hard time over it. He family wasn't "that" serious about it though. They were not hard core. But I have heard other stories about it where people really felt hurt over it.

[NZGirl07]

I was pretty lucky too. My mum made sure to never have me baptized, so my mum and dad didn't have to cut me off. My siblings had already left the religion, and my parents aren't generally super fanatical either, so I did take some verbal beatings over it but eventually they accepted it.

[Opinion Owner]

How old were your siblings when they left? Interesting that your mom never had you baptized. So if you are baptized, and then leave, they are encouraged to cut you off? Yeah my friend's parents were not fanatical from what I could tell. My friend didn't talk about it all that much.

One thing that caught my attention, is that those who follow that religion are not supposed to vote in elections. It was my understanding that you could be "disfellowshipped" for it.

[NZGirl07]

They were also around 14 to 16. I basically left by having a boyfriend outside of the religion. At first they pressured me to break up with him, but then accepted I had left. If you are baptized that means if you choose to leave the religion you are disfellowshipped and your family can no longer speak to you. Pretty insane

[NZGirl07]

Also Jehovah's Witnesses aren't meant to be political as they are waiting for god's kingdom, by voting I guess they see it as worshipping other people and engaging in the world

[RationalMale]

" If you are uncomfortable with this, it is clear you are wanting to force your child into your own beliefs, instead of letting them acquire their own."

Plenty of people choose to walk away from belief sets when they get older. But it sounds like you want to play God and control how other people raise their kids and whether they are allowed to teach them their beliefs and values.

[NZGirl07]

I don't think you understand how hard it is for people to choose to just "walk away". A lot of people face being disowned by their family, or culture, it's not usually such an easy step as you say.

As for "playing God" the government already intervenes in children's upbringing,. Children under certain ages can't see restricted movies, children can't go to casinos or sit at a bar. They're all measures of protection to protect kids from things they don't understand and can't consent to. Religion should be one of those.

[RationalMale]

In your tyrannical opinion. But in the USA tyrants have a reputation of getting killed.

[NZGirl07]

You Americans think you're so amazing when you have insane rates of homelessness, crime and an idiotic president. Don't know what you have to be so proud of.

[RationalMale]

Eh. I don't know if we're that amazing. but we believe in freedom. And we have a good reputation of tyrants ending badly. It sounds like you belong in an authoritarian government like China

[NZGirl07]

Well China allows abortions and America doesn't so you're much more tyrannical now, taking away women's rights. Bet you're proud.

[RationalMale]

Your ignorance is showing. Overturning Roe v Wade didn't outlaw abortions. It gave States the ability to decide if they want abortion or not. So California can have abortions up to 40 weeks if they want and Georgia can ban abortion if they want. Meaning, the people of a state get to decide democratically if they want that. Are you against democracy?

[NZGirl07]

No one should be able to ban abortion, you can't ban healthcare. Maybe instead of insulting people and calling them ignorant you could try have a logical debate.

[RationalMale]

You are ignorant though, literally, as in you either do not know what you are talking about or are lying. Abortion is legal in almost all of the USA. About 7/50 states have banned abortion, and the rest either have various time limits or even allow it up to birth so the mother can have the child killed vs delivering it and letting it live.

[NZGirl07]

My ignorance? You see the point I'm saying is that no state should have the power to be able to ban abortion, and now they do. A woman has already been denied an abortion for a child that will be miscarried, and they are forcing her to miscarry it putting her body through extreme stress. A child who was raped in the USA and is 10 has been denied abortion. It is abominable.

[RationalMale]

Why not ban abortion? We ban lots of medical procedures and violate a lot of rights for the public good. Despite the Constitution explicitly banning "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction." we still lock a TON of parents up for not paying child support despite they have been convicted of no crime.

[RationalMale]

Also, the child who was 10 could have easily gotten an abortion in her state with the medical exception. She wasn't denied. They went to another state without trying to get an abortion in her state and the abortionist lied that the rapist was 17, when he was in fact a 27 year old illegal alien.

[007kingifrit]

parents have a moral responsibility to indoctrinate kids to a belief system. or someone with worse intentions will

jehova's witnesses are not my favorite religion, catholicism and other christian sects are more easily integrated into society. but in general religious people are happier and healthier and have stronger communities

[ILOVEBEAUTY]

Happy and healthier my ass. Ex Christian here they are a cult mind. I was MISERABLE joining church AND being lgbt had mentally damaged me for telling me I'd rot in hell just being who I was born.

[007kingifrit]

@ILOVEBEAUTY well your anecdote doesn't outweigh the data. they are indeed happier

[ILOVEBEAUTY]

They live in fear

[007kingifrit]

@ILOVEBEAUTY a little fear does make people happier. people need some suffering and obstacles in life to be happy. that's why rich people have the highest suicide rates

[NZGirl07]

The studies actually show religious people are not happier than secular people, and religion does cause more harm

[007kingifrit]

@NZGirl07 "Actively religious people are more likely than their less-religious peers to describe themselves as “very happy”"

www.pewresearch.org/.../

[NZGirl07]

www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...lobal-study-claims.html

That study has been debunked

[007kingifrit]

first off @NZGirl07 we don't declare a study "debunked" by finding one study that says the opposite. we compare the methods first

remember 70% of all social science studies are never reproduced, i have decades of research that has been reproduced saying religious people are happier, you have one study that nobody has remade

furthermore it was done with teenagers, they don't have big life questions yet

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Jehovah's Witnesses is a lying cult. And you are right about religion and its destructive nature.

I'm very religious and dedicated but only follow the Bible, God's commandments and percepts.

Following man and their religious practices will lead you straight into bondage and life of misery.

[NZGirl07]

Thanks for your story and agreement. I'm glad you were able to make your informed personal choice, wishing you all the best.

[fireforeffect]

Totally untrue. Read the bible. Luke 18:16
But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
Children need to go to Sunday School and learn of the Love Jesus Christ has for them. The reason for all of the Violence today is because these people have rejected Jesus Christ.

[NZGirl07]

You do realise the bible is full of contradictions and unscientific thoughts. Children are better to put their love and trust into real people they can actually see. Violence today is due to a number of things including more mental illness. And you do realise violence over the centuries has been caused by religious wars, and that your priests are raping children.

[fireforeffect]

You are wrong, and the reason you are wrong is because you have never read the Bible.
Jesus IS real, He has been proved to be so.
Violence today is caused by Satan. You are under the influence of Satan as your post proves out.

[NZGirl07]

You do realise I was religious for 10 years so I've read the bible many times over. There is no proof god or Satan exists actually.

[fireforeffect]

Open your eyes. Proof is all around you. YOU are proof!!

[NZGirl07]

There is proof of evolution only. We literally have fossils and pieces of humans in their prehistoric forms such as homo habilis. There is scientific proof of how we exist, and there is no proof of a god, a devil or Jesus being some sort of mystical man. Perhaps open your eyes.

[fireforeffect]

You are wrong. All of the evil in this world is proof that Satan exists.

[fireforeffect]

You need to open YOUR eyes and stop denying the Truth. Satan has a firm grasp upon you and you need to Pray to Jesus to be released from the power of Satan.

[NZGirl07]

I pray that you learn to understand science 🤞

[fireforeffect]

I understand Science very well, Since i have four Masters, I probably understand it better than you.

[bean2k21]

My parents were atheists and I'm probably more screwed up than you are. Point being, as a child, you're going to be traumatized in some way.

[NZGirl07]

Fair enough, but might as well limit things that can be controlled to avoid some traumatization.

[Anonymous]

It takes quite the willpower to break free from these indoctrinations and even more so for full autonomy over oneself.
The thing is that choosing to blindly follow and believe whatever was put forth and then sort of try to force that onto the others will naturally cause strains and traumas.
My point is it doesn't matter the age to be dragged into these sects. I don't want any of that now and i didn't want any of it previously. Don't like it now, most likely won't like it later.

[BillyBalls]

This is why there should "Comparative Religion" should be taught in School.

Notice I said "Taught " not "Preached".

If a kid comes to believe in some "Higher Power", so be it.

[NZGirl07]

That's an interesting idea. Perhaps in the last year of high school it would be fine, but I feel like there are more important things to learn at school as well.