Search Results: getting casual

So I have dated very few people and only really thought of it after knowing them a long time ‘& only by the time I was already falling in love or already IN love, tho still was not ready for a relationship and even ambivalent about just dating. I have never ever dated to experience & learn better how to date- dating was only after thought to my interest in a specific person.

it occurred to me that this can be very problematic. If you very rarely like anyone I think you can have a false- positive impression of their character. Just bc I’m so very rarely interested in someone this does not mean that anyone I AM interested in os necessarily good for me as a person/ partner or is even a good person at all.

And ultimately in my opinion experience is crucial. Every train wreck I’ve encountered on romantic scenarios was not due to anyone being evil but bc I had no clue WTF I was doing bc I was not used to caring about someone that I was also “into”. And I was extremely uncomfortable dealing with certain inevitable vulnerability etc plus brain freeze 😂

Anyhow , I think in interest of self development & interpersonal capability , I should consider dating as part of regular life & not a rare artifact that maybe I’ll encounter in a lifetime.

Now, when I say date I mean meeting you getting acquainted. I do not mean hook ups or vetting people for whatever agenda. Just getting to know people in a romantic contexts.

Of course I’ll be upfront so no one’s tine will be wasted if they are expecting sex or something heavily physical quickly. I’m Audi not interested in anyone paying for anything so no one is getting explored with no return.

Would it bother you to be asked out by someone who wasn’t blown away by you but was open to getting to know you?

I was chatting with my roommate and she was telling me about these sites or apps that she's gone on to chat with guys such as meetup tagged and plenty of fish. At first I wasn't sure what she was looking for so I listened and I laughed at some of the messages she got and I shut my eyes @ some of the pictures she received oh boy! 😳🙈 Which to those she thankfully chewed them out! 😠

and finally I asked her "why are people on these apps? what are you hoping to gain?" in actuality I wanted to ask are you looking for a hookup or a date? not that I thought my friend was looking for a hookup but more because the responses she was getting from the guys. They seemed more interested in looking for a hookup... Anyhow her response was "I don't know just looking to talk... Get comfortable enough to meet with someone... Hopefully nice"...

I responded "yeah but is it me or do most of them just want hookups?"

To which she shrugged and said "well how else do we do this how else do we meet up with people?"

Sadly I can't say. Dating or getting to know someone now a days seems to have become so complicated.

So what are these site for? What other apps or sites are there? And what are they for?

I get eHarmony and match. com that's obvious they're looking for marriages but is it okay to look on eHarmony and you're not looking for marriages or romantic or a hookup?

• 1 Where do you look if you just want casual dating without a hookup?
• 2 Where do you look if you don't want the dating and you might just want a friend?
• 3 And for the hell of it since we are on the subject where do you look if you do want just to hook up?

So some of you will recall a few weeks ago I asked a guy I know from campus library, if he wanted to meet up.

He said sure yeah, when?

I said meet me at 8 pm @ the fountain on a Thursday after I swim. ANY Thursday is fine bc I’m always there after I swim.

1. I wanted to leave it open Bc I didn’t want him to end up showing up at bad time. I know he’s really busy with grad school an work so his schedule is Unpredictable. I’ve been there and missed stuff on accident it’s stressful & feels horrible, I didn’t want a mess.

2. Also in case he was just being polite. I know guys have trouble saying no — at least they claim they do. I wanted him to have time to think it over.

3. it’s less stressful for me bc it’s left very casual I just prefer it.

Anyhow last week I didn’t show up bc I an emergency situation. I had to take a friend to the ER. I saw the guy after when I went to a place I go every day (he was studying)

I was going to apologize but I didn’t want to interrupt him.

Then he came over when I was getting my drink & he apologized to me for not showing up. He had planned to meet me the ext week bc I said why Thursday was ok.

(I’m paraphrasing bc it was a while ago now) I told him yeah I said it’s ok bc I meant it 😂 any Thursday IS OK. And anyhow I wasn’t there. I was going to apologize but didn’t want to bother him. And it’s always ok if he can’t come bc it was meant for him to come only if it’s easily done. For it not to be big deal.

He seemed to think I didn’t care if he showed up

I was like no I’m just explaining you don’t need to stress.

He asked if i still wanted to hang out. I said sure.

So this time I did show up I waited 5 minutes then went to get a protein smoothie like always after 🏊‍♀️. I ran into him again so I mean he’s def not hiding lol He explained he planned to meet me but —

I cut him off & asked him to please not apologize 🥵 He isn’t obligated to show up if he can’t, he can’t. If he can do it another day, great. It’s OK 💦