Search Results: cheating partner

Are there any scenarios in which it's okay to flirt with someone else while in a relationship?

I have spent years dating, in monogamous relationships, and in marriage, and I never cheated on a partner. Not once. But I would never claim that I couldn't be tempted to cheat. I don't want to cheat, I couldn't face myself in the mirror if I did that, but I am not so arrogant to think I'm better than everyone else so that could never happen to me. No, I am careful to avoid situations that could lead to cheating, such as having lunches with a woman and no other person present, going out for a drink after work with a female co-worker, etc.

COULD you cheat under the wrong circumstances? DO you rely on your moral character to avoid cheating? Do you avoid situations that could present a temptation to be unfaithful?

(If you believe in polyamory or open relationships, please do not respond to the poll. I am interested in the attitudes of people who at least profess to prefer a committed, monogamous relationship.)

I think most people subscribe to the conventional wisdom: once a cheater, always a cheater. And if their partner cheated, they would immediately end their relationship. But some people say that they would try to forgive and continue the relationship, and especially if there are children involved.

I have never cheated on a partner, but I had two partners cheat on me. The first time, my girlfriend cheated with my roommate, and then they both confessed to me so they could shed some of their guilt. At that point, I decided that I had no future with the girl, but I remained with her just so I could use her for sex. And what was left of the relationship had no pretense of being exclusive. This happened about 44 years ago. If it happened now, I would respond with an immediate and total break up.

The second time, I was already in the process of a divorce when I learned that my wife had cheated while travelling a few months previously. We were already living separately so there was nothing I needed to do.

So, I've never forgiven a cheater and tried to return to a monogamous relationship. Have you? If so, did they cheat on you again? Are you still together or did you break up for some other reason?

New relationships have so much excitement and energy. There are surprises and unexpected pleasures and every day brings something new. But after some period of months, or maybe a few years, there aren't many surprises and the excitement isn't at the same level as before. Eventually, you've tried everything you wanted to do in the bedroom and you are repeating things you've done before. It's the same-old same-old.

Some people are okay with things settling into a routine. For some of us, knowing what to expect is comfortable, and we don't have a need for excitement as much as we need stability and comfort. But some people need more excitement and stimulation. (How many people claim that they cheated on a partner because they got "bored?")

For this question, "long term relationship" means a relationship that has lasted at least one year. What do YOU need in a LTR: stability and comfort, or excitement and novelty?