Have you ever forgiven a cheating partner and continued the relationship? How did that work out?

[OlderAndWiser]

No, I don't want to play baseball right now. . . maybe later!

I think most people subscribe to the conventional wisdom: once a cheater, always a cheater. And if their partner cheated, they would immediately end their relationship. But some people say that they would try to forgive and continue the relationship, and especially if there are children involved.

I have never cheated on a partner, but I had two partners cheat on me. The first time, my girlfriend cheated with my roommate, and then they both confessed to me so they could shed some of their guilt. At that point, I decided that I had no future with the girl, but I remained with her just so I could use her for sex. And what was left of the relationship had no pretense of being exclusive. This happened about 44 years ago. If it happened now, I would respond with an immediate and total break up.

The second time, I was already in the process of a divorce when I learned that my wife had cheated while travelling a few months previously. We were already living separately so there was nothing I needed to do.

So, I've never forgiven a cheater and tried to return to a monogamous relationship. Have you? If so, did they cheat on you again? Are you still together or did you break up for some other reason?

I've never known of a partner cheating on me

I've had a partner cheat on me, but I can't forgive that behavior. It was an immediate break up.

I've had a partner cheat on me, and I tried to forgive that behavior. We continued the relationship and they cheated again.

I've had a partner cheat on me, and I tried to forgive that behavior. We continued the relationship, I don't think they cheated again, but we broke up for other reasons.

I've had a partner cheat on me, and I tried to forgive that behavior. We continued the relationship, I don't think they cheated again, and we are still together.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

I have only had one partner and he never cheated on me, nor I on him.

I could not stay with a partner who endangered his health, my health and our children's stability because he wanted to have sex with another woman. It's immature, selfish, and there is no excuse for it. A man can divorce if the relationship isn't working, but cheating while in a relationship is a cowardly act.

I cannot think of a man I would respect more than one who had every opportunity to cheat, and would not do it. There are some women who see men like that as a challenge and will try to seduce him. Most men will succumb. The man who doesn't is a real man and has more to him than a sex drive.

OK, I'll get off my soapbox. :D

[Kelley1]

Regardless of your claim, almost certainly you will not divorce him for cheating.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kelley1 What makes you say that?

[Kelley1]

Watching the first 90 second of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAjwnuiHmhU

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kelley1 That's an interesting source of information.

[OlderAndWiser]

This video begins with the suggestion that 70% of men are cheaters. Of course it is impossible to know how many men have cheated on their partners, but 70% sounds like a very biased and unrealistic estimate. Of course, many younger people treat the internet as an unquestionable source of truth and so the gender wars are perpetuated. I can find videos that claim that 90% of all women are gold diggers. . . but I don't believe that claim, just as I don't believe the videos that claim that the earth is flat.

[Kelley1]

That is an invalid argument. Finding a video that makes false statements does not mean other videos cannot be trusted. If you are unable to discern the truth, you have a problem.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 What reason do you have to believe the truth in THIS video?

[Kelley1]

Pearl Davis is truthful person. That doesn't imply that the 1,000 women she interviewed were a random sample. Therefore, the percentages may differ from the average. Therefore, take the percentages as a guide; not as absolutes.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 Not even close, but believe whatever makes you feel good.

[Kelley1]

I stated the fact, I will not argue.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kelley1 When I asked my question, I inquired what prompted you make the assertion that I would not act in the way I said that I would. You shared this video. I don't see the correlation, since Pearl Davis does not know me personally and I have no idea who she is.

If it comforts you to believe that Pearl Davis knows more about me than I and my friends do, I won't take that away from you. If I had made an assertion that all women will leave when cheated on (an absurd claim), I think the video would have made more sense. But I didn't. I stated what I would do, based on life experience.

But it concerns me that you think in such a black and white fashion about life and people. People aren't data points to be analyzed, they are human beings with individual and diverse experiences. While there is a place for analysis and data, it doesn't help much when it comes to emotion and relational conflicts. I say this because you remind me a little bit of myself when I was starting college. Although I wouldn't have appreciated the feedback at the time, in hindsight I wish someone had said something about the importance of relationships and emotions.

That's all, and I wish you a good day! :D

[OlderAndWiser]

An opinion posted on YT is still an opinion. It doesn’t become a fact just because you found it on the internet.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@OlderAndWiser Agreed.

[msc545]

@Kelley1 you need to take a statistics class and learn about probability.

[Kelley1]

@msc545 I have taken that class. However, unlike you, I am able to read and listen without jumping to false conclusions assuming what was never said.

[msc545]

@Kelley1 If you took the class, you didn't learn much of anything. Take it again. Learn about probability this time.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 "unlike you, I am able to read" If you KNEW what you were talking about, you would understand that msc545 has a doctoral degree in psychology, and he is an extremely intelligent man. You are making wild assumptions only because they would support the story you want to tell.

I understand that people in their late teens and early 20's notoriously have an over-inflated opinion about their own intelligence and fund of knowledge. I certainly did when I was that age. As you get older, you will probably become more circumspect and cautious about thinking that you understand what motivates someone who is a total stranger to you. It is a long walk through life and you are still in the early stages. I wish you well.

[Kelley1]

@OlderAndWiser I can only go by what he says. I give him credit when he is right; not when he is not. The same for you, he is right half the time. You, a bit more but sometimes your mind goes off the deep end.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Kelley1 You must be right. After all, you are 20 years old.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

@Kelley1 There is no shame in admitting you may have made a mistake. No one has perfect perspective and it's OK. I think these guys are trying to help you learn, not attack you. I can see why you might feel defensive, but these are some of the most intelligent guys on this site and it doesn't imply good things about your own intelligence when you refuse to try and understand the perspective of someone else. You present as arrogant and that's why they are not cutting you much slack here. While you may bolster your own concrete opinion and validate yourself to yourself, it doesn't exactly persuade others to respect what you think.

What if you asked a few questions about why they see things the way they do? It could open up an awesome dialogue and generate mutual respect, even if you still disagree in the end. Just a thought...

[TacosRAwesome]

To my knowledge I've never been cheated on in the traditional sense but my last ex did have constant crushes (deeper feelings than if I were single Id have sexy time with her) on other women which I felt got in the way of his feelings for me. So I guess I tried to forgive but eventually lost my ability to and moved on.

[OlderAndWiser]

Obviously, he is an idiot!

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to give juicy relationship insights on Girls Ask Guys! 😎 As a relationship coach, forgiveness can sometimes lead to healing and renewed trust, but let's keep it real—it's not for everyone! Cheating can be a massive red flag, but if both partners genuinely work towards rebuilding trust and addressing the issues, the relationship might survive. As for me, I’m living happily in monogamy land 🏰. But I’ve seen couples where forgiveness led to stronger bonds and others who crashed and burned. It's really all about the people involved and what they truly want. Keep love alive, or let it go, baby!✨💔

[FreyaRed]

I've never been cheated or at least I don't know. Psychologist tell people forgiving is important and helps to cope but for me is forgiving weakness and lack of confidence. In relationships people are exchangeable, I don't see there too much space for being forgiving. Maybe in long relationships with high emotional bond, economical dependencies, children... etc is forgiving more practical than scorched earth tactics, but believing and hoping cheater will ever change is completely naive and even worse than accepting cheating as usual in such relationship.

[OlderAndWiser]

For me, forgiving means that I don't walk around with my stomach in knots because I am still livid. Forgiving is letting go of the anger, and that is something you should do for yourself because being in a constant state of anger will eat you up like cancer. However, letting go of the anger does not mean forgetting, and it does not mean that you give the cheater a second chance.

[ihateTaylorSwift]

we were both cheaters
and we both secretly hated each other's bullshit

He wanted a girl that always treated him good
And wasn't bipolar

And I wanted a guy who was skinny enough to be on top

We broke up, it was a Lose-Lose still being together
But a Win- Win after separation


we agreed to disagree and left it at that

It's better to forget the past
Than to forgive somebody exactly like yourself
Who's gonna hold you accountable
For being just as much of a flirt/cheater as they were

I'd rather wave goodbye at somebody I used to love
Used to know

Than to just being pointing fingers at each other
For year and years

[ihateTaylorSwift]

If you can't let a grudge go
Forget everything you ever once cared about
Because the bad was more important than the good

[itsannalee]

Yes I did, I found out my boyfriend (now ex) cheated on me on mey. And I forgave him, and continued the relationship until September. But during that 4 months, starting in the day I found out he cheat on me. I was trying to move on slowly. So after i i found out he cheated on me, my relationship with him is run dry. I had no feeling, just trying to make me move on and learn without him. And after i feel i was strong enough, i left him. Without any sad feeling, without cry.

[Potteplante]

It wasn't long into my first time entering a "relationship" with my ex husband that he cheated on me. I left him for a couple of days, he reeled me in again - I forgave, the cheating continued on/off, as did the "relationship" until marriage and later final cut; the divorce, in the end I'd hope he'd be out cheating because that would mean I was guaranteed a quiet night.

[Nikki1989]

I have been cheated on but have never broken up with someone for that reason.

[OlderAndWiser]

How many of your partners who cheated did it again?

[IslaTheWitch]

I forgave, but the relationship is over... it can't work without the trust...

[IslaTheWitch]

also... children learn by an example... if one parent cheated on and another is deeply hurt, but nothing happens... they will draw their own conclusions... or that cheating is alright, or it's something they have to endure...

[playboxidroid]

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me with another guy and got knocked up by him. I don't necessarily have to forgive her not forget what she did to move on. I can just ignore her existence and make money.

[Unit1]

not a cuck

[Unit1]

Cuckold*
I almost sounded like a regular internet retard.

[OlderAndWiser]

Never!

[texascollegegirl]

There is a whole other universe of possibilities. I cheat on my boyfriend with big dick Blacks every day, but he fetishizes that so long as I deny it. I could never forgive him if he cheated on me. It's a very one sided relationship and it really works.

[Orion84]

Hell no, I have not.

My ex got drunk, and cheated on me, and I dumped her sorry ass immediately. No hesitation.

[Kelley1]

Most women do but they divorce when the man stops cheating.

[Anonymous]

If we talked about having an open relationship, I honestly wouldn't even be that worried about him being intimate with someone else sexually (!)
But if we haven't and I'd find out, I'd be gone.

[Abbycado]

Never had someone cheat. If they did, it’s over. I wouldn’t reconcile.

[Shark_61695]

The few dates I've had could barely be called a relationship so I'm more likely to be the one cheated on with. But don't know that either.

[Delia2005]

No seeing someone who partner keeps cheating. Cause they kept taking them back.

[Anonymous]

No girl has ever cheated on me, cause I've never been in a relationship.
But if that actually happened, I think I would forgive her.

[LiamJHayden]

I would forgive but I would never continue the relationship.

[josepppiiii]

Loyalty is everything

[OlderAndWiser]

Okay. The questions are: "Have you ever forgiven a cheating partner and continued the relationship? How did that work out?"

[josepppiiii]

Sorry I can’t read or write

[OlderAndWiser]

[Anonymous]

No. I have not forgiven either of the women who cheated on me.

[Twalli]

I'd need a partner to cheat on me first.

[Agape93]

Nope

[DtMe89]

No i did not

[jahaims]

I never would, as I have self respect