Search Results: leaving a relationship

I switched gyms and saw GC for the first time 4 months ago. He’s quiet and focused on his workouts. I planned to leave state for 2 months so I figured I’d start a small convo before leaving to get his number. We had 3 convos over 3 days. On the third day, he said “while you have your phone out, take my number”. Then he asked, will you come back at all [from your trip]?

I took this as in he was interested in me.

I sent him a text with my first name only. So I asked before we left the gym if he’d like to hang out before I leave state. He said, “I have to be transparent, I have a girlfriend but things have been rocky and I don’t want to cross boundaries. She has an PA exam in May and I’m waiting until then.” He also is moving to CO in the fall and already told her last week not to move out there for him.

Over the next two days, he made the first move to strike up convo at the gym. I asked why he gave me his number and he said, “I didn’t want to miss an opportunity if she and I break up.”

I told him I’d wait for him to text me to let me know if anything changes and I wouldn’t contact him to be respectful of his relationship.

He found my social media and looks at my stories but hasn’t followed me. I believe he visits his girlfriend on the weekend (yesterday and today) and he viewed my stories both days in the morning and evening. I also think he found out that I’m 5 years older than him.

They’ve been together for 7 years (17-25yo). They both have deep Christian faiths. Their parents were college roommates. They played coed sports together in HS.

Am I just a shiny toy, distraction, rebound?

I start off simple. I’m pretty easy to get but hard to keep/satisfy. I’m pretty routine and when things start to change, I try to get it back to the way things were, otherwise, I’m ready to bounce. Like I start to feel trapped. Then i check out mentally/emotionally but rarely physically. At certain points in the relationship, I just begin self sabotaging as my way of escaping. Its just a bad habit, especially since I struggle with letting go and leaving on my own. I rather be released even if it makes me look like the sucker. In the end, it was all apart of the plan… But I hate wasting my time (and in some way theirs as well) but at the same time it makes me feel less guilty and less of the villain if i’m released versus just voluntarily leaving. I know its some sort of commitment issue but is what it is. #FeelFreeToList