Search Results: enjoy sex

I tend to find a lot of people irritating therefore avoid them. I think people can tell when I don’t want them around me.. I hate it when strangers come into my personal space, touch me or if I can smell their bad breath or hygiene issues. I think I have more of an issue with this than most people do.
I also don’t see much point in talking to someone unless I can get something out of them or I really enjoy their company like I find them interesting etc. Whenever I’ve had friends, I’ve noticed I drink too much at the pub and completely dominate the conversations, I like the attention all on me.
I always feel sort of numb, bored or maybe depressed. but I also ruminate and stress very easily, leading me to feel like I have to control situations or avoid them. If I have to work in group activities at university, I zone out and can’t concentrate because I find it overwhelming and don’t see the point of contributing unless I’m the leader however I’d still much rather sit back and do nothing or just do what I’m told to do etc. I used to get very good grades at school without much effort… now I’m struggling and scraping by with passes at uni because of poor time management and having random special interests distracting me.

I also feel the need to be somehow better than others.. this is why I like being a musician… a lot of the people on my uni course can’t play their instruments that well and I feel superior to them because of that.. however I feel upset if they do better than me in assessments. I also get massive anxiety if I feel like I won’t perform well, but if I know my parts well I get a bit egotistical … even as a kid I loved the attention from performing and playing instruments. I also love getting positive attention from lecturers and even seduced one and had sex with them to sort of “test” if I could win him over, but at the same time I was also very infatuated with him for no logical reason at all. I think I wanted to see how far he would go with me.

He seems to really enjoy chatting with me and joking around with me, and seems very relaxed like he can say what he’s really thinking and knows I’m not judging him.
I get the feeling that he wants to get to know me better before having sex again or doing anything else physical. He also seems more relaxed around me after we had sex. I’ve noticed we mirror eachother and it’s like we are in synch with eachother, facial expressions etc. and we even have the same opinions on most things. This is odd because I thought guys usually just want sex?
I can tell he’s still very physically attracted to me because I adjusted my boob and he smiled and blushed and looked pretty turned on.

He said months ago that he doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, but recently started flirting back, then backing off, then flirting back…. It’s really messing with my head and I feel like I’m going insane… it needs to stop. Doesn’t help that he’ll cheer me up when I’m down either.
And he’ll respond well to my sexual flirting or carry on conversations about sex… and he’ll be clearly enjoying it, like smiling and blushing and he even once got hard around me…. I dunno… it’s just too much.

do I send him a message saying it’s best we don’t talk anymore? Do I just gradually pull away? What do I do?
also he’s much older than me. I should’ve stopped it a year ago. Weird thing is that he never followed me back on instagram, but he follows everyone else back… but he would sometimes comment on my Facebook posts..