Was I played or was this man afraid of his feelings?

[Anonymous]

I need some type of closure or clue of what happen to me (28) and this guy (38)

I met him on a dating app early may for simply hooking up only, he was my first (ONS) being I’m inexperienced to this we ended talking the whole night and I made him laugh, smile, open up it was an INSTANT connection and the sex was amazing, as I was getting ready to leave he says to me “I wanna see you again I really enjoyed you” and from there it was pure ecstasy.. we would see each other every weekend, sometimes twice. We even went public and he surprised me with front row tickets to luke Bryant concert (he remembered I love country music) he toke me a white Sox game, planned a winter trip with me and his friend. We hadn’t made us official but it was gettin there.. so it seemed. sept/oct I could see he was falling deep, he would stare at me while I watched tv or slept with pure admiration, he opened up about his fears etc I swear sometimes it felt like we were a married ‘he became vulnerable and so did I,

Our last date night like always was magical, then something changed.. he became distant slowly.. no more weekend dates but would text, then from there the texring stopped. I toke it hard and blew up on him and asked to talk about it in person so we did and he didn’t give me a clear answer as to why but the entire night he played with me, toke me out to eat, told me he was sorry and how he knows I am an amazing partner but he can’t commit because of his pain he had with his divorce 2 years prior.

he was in a 5yr relationship and she pretty much screwed him over for his money, and he was still recovering from the divorce.

the next day he thanked me for helping him with a home remedy I showed him and pumpkin pie I made him and we talked like usual for a few days then again he ghosted leaving me on delivered he watched my TikTok’s but wouldn’t like them (he usually does) it was clear he was avoiding me and I sent a huge text that I was his hurt and no reply.. why?

Updates

1 y

I was hurt ** sorry I’m. Not wearing my glasses please bear with me , by the way we known each other for 6 months.. not a few weeks or even a month 6monrhs!! And I’m not a naive girl this man was truly a male version of me.. he’s such an amazing man and we both truly cared die each other.. what happen? Was I not enough?

[Anonymous]

Why do this to yourself? Asking yourself if you were enough and whatnot, you know it’s not about that. From the start it was only supposed to be sex, then you started blurring the lines and that’s where you messed up. You shouldn’t have crossed those boundaries, you shouldn’t have even got involved for just casual sex. The most you can do now is find closure within yourself, accept what is so that you can be done. This is sad.

[Asker]

It wasn’t suppose to be that way / we didn’t mean for it to go beyond just sex.. but we both just connected from life, politics, goals, kids whatever it was we were 1.. I can’t say it’s my fault because you can’t help who you fall in love with.. I just don’t know what happen what makes a man so suddenly throw someone away like as if we didn’t share amazing memories or deep combos

[Opinion Owner]

You’ve got to take some accountability for why you are where you are right now. How much of it you take is up to you, but some of this was your own fault. I understand that we can’t always help who we fall in love with, but at the same time, it takes a series of events to lead into falling for that person. In hindsight, the moment you realized that you were starting to like him more than you’re supposed to was when you should’ve ended it. Instead you chose to engage your feelings, go with the flow, and the flow just didn’t lead where you started thinking it would lead.

I think this outcome was necessary because if you did go the route of just cutting him off once you caught feelings then you probably always would’ve wondered “what if”. Given the circumstances I don’t blame you, but now that you know better you can do better. 6 months, in my opinion, was too long to keep engaging with this guy and hoping it was going somewhere. Usually you’d know if they intend to take things further with you by month 2-3, and that’s just my advice for if this happens again, that’s what you should look out for. Sorry you’re having this experience but sometimes hurtful situations are necessary for our growth.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, you were played, but now it is time to prioritize your own emotional health and find someone who values and respects you.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic tale of connection, passion, and then... poof! 🧐 You've been caught in the whirlwind of intense emotions and that pesky thing called fear. It sounds like he was genuinely into you but scared of diving deeper due to his past heartbreak. Those magical moments were real, but his past might've spooked him as things got serious. Sometimes, these emotional tides can leave us feeling shipwrecked. Remember, his ghosting likely reflects his fears, not your worth. Keep shining, and steer clear of those haunting exes! 😉❤️

[Asker]

I am physically sick from this.. I can’t understand how he can just leave me like that.. no closure no goodbye just silence - and I know I meant something to him

[Anonymous]

HAHAHA!!! You got play!

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes you need closure

[In_Trance]

Played