Search Results: do you need to work at a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I initiate literally all our dates (the last time he planned something for us was probably 2 years ago), I usually am the one to initiate sex, I ask him how he is and about his day and he rarely asks me how I’m going, I sometimes talk to him and he actually ignores me. When he’s away working or on surf trips, I will ask him how he’s going but he never asks me how everything is back home. But he still says he loves me. And sometimes he says he misses me. We’ve broken up before because I’ve told him that I feel unwanted at times and that the live isn’t reciprocated and he didn’t really do anything to try and mend our relationship. I feel like I’m trying really hard now to keep our love alive but it feels so one-sided. I have even tried to back off because I don’t want to come across needy. I have my own life - my own hobbies, my own career, my own friends, and I do many things without him. I have been genuinely choosing to be with him because I want him, not because I need him. I love him very much but I don’t feel appreciated or valued and I don’t know what else to do. I’ve spoken and even cried to him about feeling unloved and he says he understands and that he loves me but that something might be wrong with him. When I ask him what he thinks is wrong, he doesn’t know. I’m 32 now and really want to find my person. I’m starting to doubt if he is the one for me but I still love him very much and want to make it work. But I also love myself and don’t want to waste my time if it’s obvious to everyone else that he’s no longer interested in me.