I need advice on this relationship?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I had known this person for a year and we started dating like about 2.5 months ago. Initially everything was awesome ig cuz of honeymoon phase but after about 2-3 weeks there were problems..
1) He puts in no efforts and never has time for me and expects me to be free whenever he wants
2) Whenever we tried to get physical he hurts me even after I've repeatedly said that it hurts
3)《I didn't put in an emoji here it's a glitch》He hits me casually as if we are best friends which we were but it hurts me and he feels it's okay
4) He does care a LOT but fails to show that care
5) Whenever I bring up these issues to talk he just sits there listening until I'm done, ignores them and starts acting normal

I wanna break up but I don't know how as then we'll not stay friends as he said himself that if this ends he can't make a friendship 'work'. And he's my only friend.. like the only person I interact with..

Updates

1 y

I tried breaking up or asking for a break or even sone space but turns out he hurt himself intentionally to get rid of thar 'anger'... I don't know what to do now..

[SueShe]

If you feel that the situation is tense, why don't you make a list of topics you feel both of you have an issue and besides each item, you bring a reply that you think would help the situation. Then ask him to do a similar list and also to write down how he sees improvement.

Then you sit together and attempt to find a consensus, bearing in mind that none of you should be angry or upset. That would falsify the outcome and rather than to help, this would only make things worse. Also, trying to impose one's view onto the other is not the right solution because the one or the other is under pressure to act on that imposition.

The essence of a relation is in communication.

Now, if you feel that he is not interested in communicating with you, then nothing will change in the future and you are only wasting your time in this relationship. It may be hard but separation would be the only option for you because continuing this way will only harm you emotionally and drag you down into a depression. Good luck.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

WHY are you telling her this when he is physically abusive. This is NOT a healthy relationship by any stretch of the imagination where you can sit and talk about your troubles when physically maybe even causing sexual harm - as she says it hurts when they're physical - abuse is happening.

If you want to do something actually useful tell her to get some self respect and LEAVE.

[SakuraBlossoms87]

"4) He does care a LOT but fails to show that care"

He does NOT care. If he DID care he WOULD NOT hurt you, he WOULD NOT hit you, etc.

Did you grow up in a broken household where your mother was physically, sexually, & emotionally abused by your father / step father / her partner? That is the ONLY explanation as to why you would excuse what is an ABUSIVE relationship when you are only a kid. You think such behavior is normal even acceptable when society says NO.

Do yourself the BIGGEST favour you will EVER do in your life and tell this LOSER to get lost. Any man who thinks that it is OKAY to hurt a woman is nothing more than TRASH.

[Smc08]

Sounds like you have battered woman syndrome. It only gets worse. He’s can’t be friends if you break up because he was never your friend. Your lover should be your best friend and love shouldn’t hurt EVER! You should find a therapist if it’s hard for you to leave. Otherwise you’ll find yourself in a very desperate situation where your only option is a battered woman’s shelter. Sometimes it’s better to be alone. That’s the only way you will be able to heal because all he is for you is toxic mind games and abuse.

[Cathy7734]

I believe that if a man really really really likes a woman he will do almost anything for her. He would even cook for her, do the laundry, clean, and massage her feet while she told him about her day. If he isn't like that or shows any signs of affection, he just isn't that into you.

[Asker]

He shows signs of affection but they're more like a rare thing rest of the time he's busy... idts he's that into me like he feels attraction but he just doesn't.. yk

[rienna888]

Wtf that’s so messed up, he seems to be a bad boyfriend but a good friend. Just explain to him exactly what you said here. Say that you feel like he never listens and you feel ignored. That you really liked spending time with him before the relationship began, but when you started dating he was not romantic

[Asker]

Tried that and yesterday he resorted to self harm so I feel I shouldn't leave and just stay but I'm not happy to stay plus it's getting similar to my ex and that was a tornado I don't ever want in my life again

[FifiJones]

If he hits you he hits others.

While you talk he is busy thinking who will smack his grumpy face back into a grave (after meadics decline to help him, cuz he's garbage).

[Anonymous]

Why be friends with someone who doesntcare if they hurt you

[Anonymous]

You have to dump him and move on with your life, or this situation you are in is going to turn very toxic.

[FemaleHustlaa]

How old is he

[Asker]

He is 20