Search Results: being in love

I've done some thinking and I've realized that my parents never raised me. They provided all the time but they didn't teach me things, spend time with me and when they did, my father never had 1 nice word, and when I say not 1 nice word, I mean not 1 nice word.

Every time, he scolds me over the tiniest thing and side-eye's at me, praying he finds something to scold me for again.

My mom is entirely submissive to him and joins in, despite her actually showing that she cares for me, unlike my dad who if my mom left him, would've been more than happy to leave me and my brother to fend for ourselves.

For this reason, it has been 16 years since I ate at a dinner table with them. I always took food to my room to avoid my fathers threats to beat me, him yelling at me me to shut up when I asked how his day was, and since my mom always got home hours after he did, he could treat me as bad as he wanted.

Once I grew and started going to the gym, his threats stopped. But his scolding remains, I dream of punching him in the face and telling him he's the worst father in the world.

I'm at my wits end with my father, I hate being around him, he's angry, he never says one nice thing and he's even gone as far as to ask my mother if I even need my medicine for my Cystic Fibrosis.

I am only just now realizing on my own, all that I missed out on from them giving up on me making it to 20 years old when I was born with Cystic Fibrosis. I love my mother, she's stood by me through everything but she just didn't have it in her to raise me at all.

She never even tried to raise me, she just insulted me until I was too big. And once I became a gun owner, he became afraid of me.

He should be, he pressed his hand against my head, calling me an embarrassment of a son and warning me not to test him as his breath reeked of beer one night camping when I was 11. If he did that again now, I'd show him who the weak one always was: Him

Did your parents raise you?

I got emotional when I watched a TV show called "Time of death", it follows the last days or months of someone who's terminal. I got emotional as the mom gave her speech in which she expressed how horrible it was to see her son rapidly deteriorate from cancer, and fade away.

It also made me think about my childhood dog, Katie. She ended up getting sicker and sicker as her pancreas started shutting down and she could hardly walk down the stairs. She was my dog from 2007-2020. As previously mentioned, I never fit in, anywhere, Katie was my everything.

I was closer to her than most people are with their siblings, I hated being away from her, and she always howled, cried out and desperately lunged at me every time I left for school. She'd wait by the window for me, jump up, wagging her tail, and as I come in, there was a love seat by the door She'd run up, stand on, and lick me. She'd put her two paws on my shoulders to do it.

When I had surgery and was in the hospital, she refused to leave my room, even to use the bathroom and when I came back, she always cuddled so close to me and I'd always hold her close. Seeing her condition worsen and her strength fade was so hard. I'd have to carry her up and down the stairs, she'd be scared to try to walk down them.

Then I'd have to bring food up to her, her worry and sorrow always on her face as I desperately tried to comfort her. Then the day came, I remember how even in her last moments, she looked up and licked me as i told her how much I loved her, and how I'd never forget her.

I see now that although I have dogs now and love them, Katie's death burned the deepest hole in my heart.

I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes are quite wet as I write this, and I sobbed as I looked at this photo taken days before her death. Seeing her nose, her eyes, I really loved her. To Katie, I will always remember you, thank you for loving me, thank you for staying with me, and thank you for being my dog❤️