"There are very real differences between the way men and women operate socially... but the problem is that despite this fact being obvious, we continue to act as if it isn't"
The reason for that is that feminism has taught people that men and women are the same, and that accepting that we are different is sexist. The book men are from Mars, women are from Venus is a great book that has helped a lot of people, but in modern society it is viewed as a book on how to be sexist. This causes men and women to have a harder time understanding the other point of view, and creates more misunderstandings.
Fascinating! I really can't decide if I love what she did to sacrifice that much of herself to find out more about how people work or if I detest the level of dishonesty in approaching others. Buy all in all it makes some amazing points as to the differences between men and women. Things that, let's be honest won't change. But hopefully we can learn to understand and have more sympathy towards one another.
Women play it both ways... and for men to criticize them for it, in ANY way, will usually just get you labeled a chauvinist, or a loser for those for whom 'chauvinist' has too many syllables.
Criticizing women's behavior in the USA these days is mostly off limits for guys unless you're wealthy...
Men are more privileged. Women have their period, we have to give birth, we always feel pressured to wear makeup and look our best and shave our legs. Not only that but there men get the upper hand a lot of times. My mom is in real estate and the workers won't even listen to her bc she's a woman so she has to call my dad to come over there. And my cousin who's 24 gets paid less than her male colleagues. I mean, I know people don't think sexism exists but it actually does...
I won't see a woman declaring me as a 'virgin' as an insult. Why is there so much social conditioning? Whats wrong in being a 'virgin'? (Although i'm not a virgin myself). I would simply approach a woman. If she's too stupid and messed up to give a rude respond I would laughingly ignore her there and there itself and reject her right away.
Its because men do not act in a wise manner is the reason why some immature women suffer from false egos!
even with that whole speech... you still felt the need to remind people that you aren't a virgin (even though it didn't really add anything to your point)... and that's kinda what im getting at. No guy, regardless of whether they think this is a good thing or not, want to be seen as a virgin... and they would rather quickly remind people that they are not one, versus come across as someone who may be one
Ok. If thats the case I will edit that comment and remove the line that says that I'm not a virgin! Or add some salt to it and proudly claim that I'm a virgin. What difference does it have to make? Seriously I believe some men need to grow up and NOT feel the shame when it comes to this topic.
It can be tough to find out what a girl really wants at times. Sometimes if you hold hands with a girl, kiss her, etc very early on she might feel like it's too much and that you just see her as a booty call but then there's been times where a girl just wanted sex very early on and if you miss any signal, that may or may not be obvious, that they wanted sex then they might ignore you for a guy who will fuck them right away and think you have no game.
No, not all women are like that but I have met a few in both scenarios from dating sites.
Agreed, I think communication and being more direct would help more but there's issues for both genders. If a guy brings up sex early on, he might be seen as a perv or a creep but if a girl brings it up early on, she'll be seen as slutty.
Seen how arrogant some of those broads were? " IF YOU DONT APPROACH ME SOME OTHER GUY WILL" #faceplam and that's the fucking problem since we never force them out of their comfort zone like they'll do a QB in the NFL with pressure LOL
i don't know how you do it man. You just know the exact right time to post. Or it could be because you have so many waifu ninja servants ready to answer your stuff at a moments notice, i dunno xD
i dont think there is a way to force them out of their comfort zone though. If guys miraculously stopped approaching, many of them would just become celibate. That's how big the fear of rejection is amongst women.
That may happen, hell probably will but you know how they say that "women have lower sex drives/ aren't thirsty" BS... they're hornier than us but unlike us as guys they don't have to show it because some idiot will approach them on top of floating their boat LOL
Call my bluff, find a girl who finds you physically attractive then don't show her any attention and watch what happens. Imma tell ya right now, you're going to learn how it feels to be a girl because not only aren't you going to be the 1 leading the convo, guess what? You get the chance to reject her without a fuck given all while she is pouring her heart out to you.
What would happen is this " girls would give in and start going to get what they want since it's no longer coming to them/they couldn't be complacent anymore" #SimpleAsThat unless they want the human race to die out LOL
well, they do get horny no doubt, but they dont have nearly as much testosterone as we do, so unlike us, they don't seem to be horny almost 24/7. But if they find a guy that they fancy in that way (which doesn't happen all that often due to their high selectiveness), they may act that way. Thing is though that due to male biology, its a virtual impossibility (not a literal one) to have guys pull in the reigns and stop pursuing women as much for that to actually happen.
Lol great thread. Women will never be desperate in my opinion. It just doesn't work that way biologically. Men are more promiscuous, because our investment is smaller than theirs.
@muspelhem_5 Let me hit ya with some of those Drake lyrics 1 tie for the hood " #wise words from a #decent man even back when I was trying put a ring on Alicia hand... blah blah (fuck the rest HAHA) " but yeah you make a point, but you'd be surprised how thirsty some of these girls really are if and when they see a hot guy (in their books) LOLOL
The rest of my greatest hits (questions) are on my page LOL ^_^ #RustlingJimmiesIsFUn
True, women can definitely be very thirsty, sometimes they seem more nuts than men. But what I mean is: it's always on their terms. It's always whether THEY like the guy that's the deciding factor, whereas a lot of us guys will lower our standards to just get laid at all.
@muspelhem_5 Couldn't have said it better myself... heck i said something similar to that before on here and 1 GAGirl went full retard on my black ass LOLOLOL. Since I said girls have way to much power in R-ships, hell even in "APPROACHES" they want done in their way (flattery) and in the end there's nothing in the rule book saying that she even have to accept you LOL. But hey it's not a secret that "girls can cast their fishing rods to see if we bite and then throw back all of the 1's they don't need or don't like at no risk to them", right?
You are one of the few people who understands how hard men have it in the dating game. Women are essentially the sole deciders of whether or not we'll get laid, or get into a relationship. Women can often just sit back and pick and choose which guy they want. Men don't have that privilege.
@Floyd790 a woman approaching a man is *far* more rare. It happens, but not nearly as often. The amount of women who actually do so is negligible. Many women say they do, but in reality, do not.
This take made me understand some things. I can't say that I'm privileged for being a woman because I had a couple of bad experiences with men... However, I still have my concerns when it comes to men. Anyways, it was worth reading it.
Brilliant take! You're actually fulfilling the purpose of this site being created. Closing the gap between the genders and helping them understand one another. Well done. One of the best takes I've read. :)
I'm just disgusted at the responses. I'm not surprised by any of them, but it's disappointing all the same. It's actually something I was thinking of writing about, but it's pointless to do so, so I haven't; that men experienced with dating know far more about women than women will ever know about men, I mean.
But whatever, this topic exhausts me.
Again, good work.
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Opinion Owner
+1 y
@bubble_tea "If it's easier to open up, I wonder why most guys don't see value in female friendships..."
Very simple reason. Women talk to other women.
If you, as a guy, have a small social circle and your social circle/extended social circle is the primary means by which you meet women (and for most guys, that is the case... most don't ask out random strangers), then getting labeled gay KILLS your dating life outright.
So if a women in your circle thinks of you as gay or even just mentions you open up to her (and the other girls just infer that you might be gay), then your chances of finding a partner die.
Add in that most women lose attraction and/or respect for men who open up, and you have a very serious disincentive to ever open up to a woman.
Interesting Take! I haven't watched the video yet (will give more commentary when I have) but you brought up some interesting points. I'm not sure I agree with you on all of your commentary, but it was well presented.
One of the things that you didn't mention but she did was that men are just as emotionally vulnerable as women are but society looks down on them for being so. I think this is incredibly sad, to not be able to express your emotions in any way other than rage. I think it's also incredibly sad that men can't have close, emotional connections with other men (unless they are brothers or have known each other forever). I think same sex friendships are very important. I think all close friendships are very important.
One other thing that bothered me a bit: women technically have testosterone, just the same as men technically have estrogen and progesterone. It is not the dominant hormone produced, but it is there (produced by the pituitary gland). Women would not have any sexual drive or desire without it, which we know is not true. It's also not strictly known whether the female sexuality is predominantly mental or not (my alma mater is doing some research into this and I participated in
I'm not sure that all women are elitist with men approaching them, but quite frankly many are so used to fighting off men that they become cynical. I don't really go out to bars or anything so I don't experience this as much, but it is both annoying (and sometimes threatening) to be approached by men while running errands.
well i tried to touch on it when talking about her experience with the guys at the bowling alley, but with men, there's a really strong pressure to not show certain emotions, particular the sad ones, the depressive ones... as its often associated with weakness and makes us look less attractive. Intimacy between guys is often stigmatized as being gay, so its avoided like the plague. No hetero man wants to be mistaken as gay, so they will do pretty much the exact opposite of being emotional... which is partly where the a lot of the bantering comes from.
Also, i'm not denying the existence of female testosterone. My real point though is that ratio to which they exist between men and women is different by multiples.
I do find it interesting though that people, including other women, still can't seem to come to a consensus about how female attraction works... but atm i lean towards the argument that its more mental mainly due to how often we see very attractive women with guys who aren't objectively attractive. Even when looking at women's porn habits, the high preference amongst them for lesbian porn, for me hints towards womens longing for more of this cerebral sensual intimacy that women have more for each other vs other kinds of porn that is less devoid of any real attachment between the actors. I don't know. This starts to go into a realm of science and subjectivity that has yet to be fully understood
women have it easier in western societies. i dont think they truly understand the privileges they have that makes their life so much easier than a mans.
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"There are very real differences between the way men and women operate socially... but the problem is that despite this fact being obvious, we continue to act as if it isn't"
The reason for that is that feminism has taught people that men and women are the same, and that accepting that we are different is sexist. The book men are from Mars, women are from Venus is a great book that has helped a lot of people, but in modern society it is viewed as a book on how to be sexist. This causes men and women to have a harder time understanding the other point of view, and creates more misunderstandings.
Fascinating! I really can't decide if I love what she did to sacrifice that much of herself to find out more about how people work or if I detest the level of dishonesty in approaching others.
Buy all in all it makes some amazing points as to the differences between men and women. Things that, let's be honest won't change. But hopefully we can learn to understand and have more sympathy towards one another.
Glad you liked it :)
Women play it both ways... and for men to criticize them for it, in
ANY way, will usually just get you labeled a chauvinist, or a loser for those for whom 'chauvinist' has too many syllables.
Criticizing women's behavior in the USA these days is mostly off limits for guys unless you're wealthy...
U
But I wouldn't say ' western society.'
Fembot rhetoric only works in the USA. Other societies are more balanced and girls aren't so spoiled as here in the US
Men are more privileged.
Women have their period, we have to give birth, we always feel pressured to wear makeup and look our best and shave our legs.
Not only that but there men get the upper hand a lot of times. My mom is in real estate and the workers won't even listen to her bc she's a woman so she has to call my dad to come over there. And my cousin who's 24 gets paid less than her male colleagues.
I mean, I know people don't think sexism exists but it actually does...
I won't see a woman declaring me as a 'virgin' as an insult. Why is there so much social conditioning? Whats wrong in being a 'virgin'? (Although i'm not a virgin myself). I would simply approach a woman. If she's too stupid and messed up to give a rude respond I would laughingly ignore her there and there itself and reject her right away.
Its because men do not act in a wise manner is the reason why some immature women suffer from false egos!
even with that whole speech... you still felt the need to remind people that you aren't a virgin (even though it didn't really add anything to your point)... and that's kinda what im getting at. No guy, regardless of whether they think this is a good thing or not, want to be seen as a virgin... and they would rather quickly remind people that they are not one, versus come across as someone who may be one
Ok. If thats the case I will edit that comment and remove the line that says that I'm not a virgin! Or add some salt to it and proudly claim that I'm a virgin. What difference does it have to make? Seriously I believe some men need to grow up and NOT feel the shame when it comes to this topic.
It can be tough to find out what a girl really wants at times. Sometimes if you hold hands with a girl, kiss her, etc very early on she might feel like it's too much and that you just see her as a booty call but then there's been times where a girl just wanted sex very early on and if you miss any signal, that may or may not be obvious, that they wanted sex then they might ignore you for a guy who will fuck them right away and think you have no game.
No, not all women are like that but I have met a few in both scenarios from dating sites.
how about communicating?
Agreed, I think communication and being more direct would help more but there's issues for both genders. If a guy brings up sex early on, he might be seen as a perv or a creep but if a girl brings it up early on, she'll be seen as slutty.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1356742-why-should-i-we-approach-you-girls about the approaching thing I've said the same thing... #GreatTake
Women are more privileged LOL
thanks! But i do remember that question. Shit escalated quickly.. lmao
them replies tho ^_^
Seen how arrogant some of those broads were? " IF YOU DONT APPROACH ME SOME OTHER GUY WILL" #faceplam and that's the fucking problem since we never force them out of their comfort zone like they'll do a QB in the NFL with pressure LOL
i don't know how you do it man. You just know the exact right time to post. Or it could be because you have so many waifu ninja servants ready to answer your stuff at a moments notice, i dunno xD
i dont think there is a way to force them out of their comfort zone though. If guys miraculously stopped approaching, many of them would just become celibate. That's how big the fear of rejection is amongst women.
HAHAHA check my wall for my greatest hits. Back then I had like 68 followers though when I made that question ^_^.
I think my mini-ranting mixed with me not posting anon = more replies since they have a name to put to the words.
That may happen, hell probably will but you know how they say that "women have lower sex drives/ aren't thirsty" BS... they're hornier than us but unlike us as guys they don't have to show it because some idiot will approach them on top of floating their boat LOL
Call my bluff, find a girl who finds you physically attractive then don't show her any attention and watch what happens. Imma tell ya right now, you're going to learn how it feels to be a girl because not only aren't you going to be the 1 leading the convo, guess what? You get the chance to reject her without a fuck given all while she is pouring her heart out to you.
What would happen is this " girls would give in and start going to get what they want since it's no longer coming to them/they couldn't be complacent anymore" #SimpleAsThat unless they want the human race to die out LOL
well, they do get horny no doubt, but they dont have nearly as much testosterone as we do, so unlike us, they don't seem to be horny almost 24/7. But if they find a guy that they fancy in that way (which doesn't happen all that often due to their high selectiveness), they may act that way. Thing is though that due to male biology, its a virtual impossibility (not a literal one) to have guys pull in the reigns and stop pursuing women as much for that to actually happen.
#MistGotSchooledAgainByWaterOrDodgersGm *goes to hibernate in the mistcave* #GirlsArePicky LOL
Lol great thread. Women will never be desperate in my opinion. It just doesn't work that way biologically. Men are more promiscuous, because our investment is smaller than theirs.
@muspelhem_5 Let me hit ya with some of those Drake lyrics 1 tie for the hood " #wise words from a #decent man even back when I was trying put a ring on Alicia hand... blah blah (fuck the rest HAHA) " but yeah you make a point, but you'd be surprised how thirsty some of these girls really are if and when they see a hot guy (in their books) LOLOL
The rest of my greatest hits (questions) are on my page LOL ^_^ #RustlingJimmiesIsFUn
True, women can definitely be very thirsty, sometimes they seem more nuts than men. But what I mean is: it's always on their terms. It's always whether THEY like the guy that's the deciding factor, whereas a lot of us guys will lower our standards to just get laid at all.
@muspelhem_5 Couldn't have said it better myself... heck i said something similar to that before on here and 1 GAGirl went full retard on my black ass LOLOLOL. Since I said girls have way to much power in R-ships, hell even in "APPROACHES" they want done in their way (flattery) and in the end there's nothing in the rule book saying that she even have to accept you LOL. But hey it's not a secret that "girls can cast their fishing rods to see if we bite and then throw back all of the 1's they don't need or don't like at no risk to them", right?
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1573408-why-are-people-so-attached-to-the-idea-of-benevolent-sexism read my post on there... true or what about them not being told how to TREAT a guy? But they show are TOLD how we as GUYS should treat them -_- HAHA
Very interesting. gender equality would be benefital from everyone.
Glad you liked it... though im not sure why your comment was downvoted, lmao
Nice take.
You are one of the few people who understands how hard men have it in the dating game. Women are essentially the sole deciders of whether or not we'll get laid, or get into a relationship. Women can often just sit back and pick and choose which guy they want. Men don't have that privilege.
thanks :) though i think many men do understand the difficulties some men face. It's only women who may not know
Wrong women do approach to just not as often.
@Floyd790 a woman approaching a man is *far* more rare. It happens, but not nearly as often. The amount of women who actually do so is negligible. Many women say they do, but in reality, do not.
I disagree I've been appoached several times. Its sociology women are taught to wait for guys to do it but it's gonna and is already changing.
This take made me understand some things. I can't say that I'm privileged for being a woman because I had a couple of bad experiences with men...
However, I still have my concerns when it comes to men.
Anyways, it was worth reading it.
ah sorry to hear that... but i glad you learned a thing or two from it :)
I really did and I have to thank you for that :)
Brilliant take! You're actually fulfilling the purpose of this site being created. Closing the gap between the genders and helping them understand one another. Well done. One of the best takes I've read. :)
thanks mate :)
sigh...
Good take.
I'm just disgusted at the responses. I'm not surprised by any of them, but it's disappointing all the same. It's actually something I was thinking of writing about, but it's pointless to do so, so I haven't; that men experienced with dating know far more about women than women will ever know about men, I mean.
But whatever, this topic exhausts me.
Again, good work.
@bubble_tea
"If it's easier to open up, I wonder why most guys don't see value in female friendships..."
Very simple reason. Women talk to other women.
If you, as a guy, have a small social circle and your social circle/extended social circle is the primary means by which you meet women (and for most guys, that is the case... most don't ask out random strangers), then getting labeled gay KILLS your dating life outright.
So if a women in your circle thinks of you as gay or even just mentions you open up to her (and the other girls just infer that you might be gay), then your chances of finding a partner die.
Add in that most women lose attraction and/or respect for men who open up, and you have a very serious disincentive to ever open up to a woman.
I would mention I have firsthand experience of that phenomenon. It's one reason why I had to learn how to cold approach women.
Thanks, haha.
and
@bubble_tea
Interesting Take! I haven't watched the video yet (will give more commentary when I have) but you brought up some interesting points. I'm not sure I agree with you on all of your commentary, but it was well presented.
Glad you liked it!
One of the things that you didn't mention but she did was that men are just as emotionally vulnerable as women are but society looks down on them for being so. I think this is incredibly sad, to not be able to express your emotions in any way other than rage. I think it's also incredibly sad that men can't have close, emotional connections with other men (unless they are brothers or have known each other forever). I think same sex friendships are very important. I think all close friendships are very important.
One other thing that bothered me a bit: women technically have testosterone, just the same as men technically have estrogen and progesterone. It is not the dominant hormone produced, but it is there (produced by the pituitary gland). Women would not have any sexual drive or desire without it, which we know is not true. It's also not strictly known whether the female sexuality is predominantly mental or not (my alma mater is doing some research into this and I participated in
One of the studies, so this is how I know).
I'm not sure that all women are elitist with men approaching them, but quite frankly many are so used to fighting off men that they become cynical. I don't really go out to bars or anything so I don't experience this as much, but it is both annoying (and sometimes threatening) to be approached by men while running errands.
well i tried to touch on it when talking about her experience with the guys at the bowling alley, but with men, there's a really strong pressure to not show certain emotions, particular the sad ones, the depressive ones... as its often associated with weakness and makes us look less attractive. Intimacy between guys is often stigmatized as being gay, so its avoided like the plague. No hetero man wants to be mistaken as gay, so they will do pretty much the exact opposite of being emotional... which is partly where the a lot of the bantering comes from.
Also, i'm not denying the existence of female testosterone. My real point though is that ratio to which they exist between men and women is different by multiples.
I do find it interesting though that people, including other women, still can't seem to come to a consensus about how female attraction works... but atm i lean towards the argument that its more mental mainly due to how often we see very attractive women with guys who aren't objectively attractive. Even when looking at women's porn habits, the high preference amongst them for lesbian porn, for me hints towards womens longing for more of this cerebral sensual intimacy that women have more for each other vs other kinds of porn that is less devoid of any real attachment between the actors. I don't know. This starts to go into a realm of science and subjectivity that has yet to be fully understood
more* devoid
Women have also been shown to react most to videos of bonobo monkeys having sex, so it's clearly a complicated issue.
females are.
Dating only benefits them because there is always some desperate sap who is willing to pick up any girl.
Guys have to craft their social skills. Females just have to laugh and smile.
women have it easier in western societies. i dont think they truly understand the privileges they have that makes their life so much easier than a mans.
I hope some people learn that both men and women can be cruel and that no specific geneder is horrible. We both have our pros and cons x-x
yes :)
Good take, and good points too. I believe women are because we can get away with so many things that men can't, which isn't right.
thank you!
This is so awesome, I reposted it on Facebook :) First time I have done that here!
glad you liked it!
lol that comic cracked me up. =D It's so true about the way guy friends talk to each other.
The title doesn't correspond with the article.. this is about dating and sex?
It's a very short sighted article. Very!