Society & Politics

Being on the Outside Looking In: From the Prospective of an Outsider

Being on the Outside Looking In: From the Prespective of an Outsider


It's not easy living in this world to start with but it becomes even harder when you're different, when you don't feel you fit with everyone else. I've never been like everybody else, I've always been different an outsider. I'm that person standing on the outside looking at everybody elses lives, wondering why it can't be as easy for me to fit in and make connections, as it seems to be for everyone else. I've never done what other people do or thought the way other people think, I've always marched to the beat of my own drum. So, I've never tried to fit in but I've also never purposely tried to stand out, I just do. And, as much as I like being my own person and not keeping up with the Joneses, I also don't like how extreme my difference from others is and all the pain and loneliness that comes with that. Basically, it's a bitter sweet thing being a misfit.



So, I decided to write this because 1) I'm having one of those moments of wishing things came a little easier to me and 2) To help people better understand what someone who doesn't feel like everyone else, feels on the inside.



When I wrote a take about how I'm different from other women, people took it the wrong way. They thought I was bragging and telling people I feel I'm special, but I wasn't and I don't. It's quite the opposite. Whether people admit it or not, there's things in this world that bond people together. Things that help them connect and relate to each other. Things that bond men with other men and things that bond women with other woman. So, if none of the those typical things that bond the genders together, applies to you then you are considered an outsider and looked at differently. You can pretend it's not true but I know from personal experience, it is.



Everything I am, everything I'm not, everything I do, everything I don't do and everything I wish to be, someone has a negative thing to say about it and people treat me in a negative way. I don't drink, that's a problem for people. I don't swear, that' a problem for people. I'm shy, quiet and a loner, that's a problem for people. Heck, even me being bullied is a problem for people and apparently considered to be my fault. So, I don't just feel like an outsider but people treat like I'm one.



Even at family events, I have a hard time connecting and relating and that's my own family. I sit there watching everyone talk, laugh and bond together. And, all I want to do is go home and cry because I don't have that kind of connection with anyone. It's hard, it hurts and I wish I could handle it better. I wish I felt I belonged but I don't .



I don't have a whole lot of experience, in a lot of things but from the experience I do have and the things I've observed. People don't like people who aren't like them and we can pretend like that's not true, but it is. If it wasn't, people wouldn't make judgements, assumptions or rude unneccessary comments about people who don't fit the typical social norm of how a person should be, how they should look, what they should be doing by a certain age or what they should like. But, they do because different isn't accept.



Isn't that why people on here tell you "don't say you're different" because they know that means you're not like the rest and nobody likes that? There is a social standard of what's acceptable and what's not, so when you say you're different or feel like an outsider. It's because you are, whether people admit that or not.



I've experienced the rude comments and odd looks, so I know from experience how people are. I spend more time trying to explain and defend myself to people, then I'd like to. There's only a select few in my life that get me or kind of get me because they're a weirdo like me too. So, as nice as it is to be a leader and not a follower. It's also painful and I cry a lot, I feel bad about myself a lot of the time and I know there's much I need to change about myself and how I react to things but it's also the price you pay when you don't fit in with everybody else. When you don't really belong.



As I I said in the beginning, it's hard to live in this world to start with but it's even harder when you're misunderstood and not accepted. So, there will always be outsiders but maybe now you'll understand that being an outsider isn't always a choice but what you become when you're not like the rest. Maybe you'll understand that just because you admit your different and embrace it, doesn't mean there's not emotional pain that comes with that and a wish to be accepted by someone. Everyone wants to belong but not all of us feel we do, but now you have a look into what it's like for someone who doesn't.



Thanks, for reading.

Being on the Outside Looking In: From the Prospective of an Outsider
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