From an enormous turkey dinner to a table full of family, Thanksgiving is perhaps my least favorite holiday of the year second only to New Year's Eve. Granted, I am thankful for all of the good things in my life - whether I realize them or not - but the actual holiday itself is not something I am very fond of. Needless to say, I will be glad if/when the liberal SJWs manage to abolish this classic American holiday. As it is, here are the top four main reasons why I do not like Thanksgiving.
#4) The Food is too White for my Palate
From turkey and stuffing to mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce, the cuisine of the white man is very strange to my barbaric Mexican palate. Needless to say, it is not something that I am particularly fond of, the sole exception being fried chicken and beef stew. I think it mostly has to do with the sweet buttery taste underlying the entire meal, as I am more accustomed to spiciness from the variety of chili powders underlying most Mexican American dishes. That being said, I am much more accustomed to eating dishes such as the following:
And my favorite,
All images are the courtesy of my mother, the greatest cook around. But the point is, even the most articulately prepared and extravagant Thanksgiving dinner just leaves a funny taste in my mouth, given that I am not accustomed to the food of the white man. I will always prefer my native cuisine of Mexican American dishes, which is one reason why I do not like Thanksgiving.
#3) The Insane Amount of Prep Work
Normally this would not bother me. I am the farthest thing from a lazy person there is. I thrive to work and working is thriving. But when it is for a white meal that I hardly even enjoy, it is difficult to stay motivated. How can I be excited when I do not even appreciate the finished product? From staying up until 5AM the night before baking pumpkin pies, chopping vegetables, and the like to waking up at 6AM the next morning to baste the turkey every half an hour, Thanksgiving is preceded by a lot of work. And when you do not even care for the holiday, the work becomes agonizing.
But it gets worse,
On top of all the cooking, there is also a lot of cleaning and housekeeping that must be done before company arrives the next day. So on top of preparing arguably the largest meal of the year, I also have to clean the house spotless from top to bottom. From dusting, vacuuming, and shining appliances to shampooing the couches, cleaning the bathrooms, and mopping to give the illusion that we are cleaner than we really are, the cooking is just half of the work. My mother runs a tight ship and will never allow company to arrive unless the house has been thoroughly cleaned and the lawns mowed.
#2) Having a Dysfunctional Family
The myth of the happy family gathered around the Thanksgiving dinner table is largely just that: a myth. But then you have my family, and things escalate to a whole different level. From a long history of crime, sexual abuse, grudges, and addiction, my family is beyond dysfunctional. Needless to say, I can probably count the amount of relatives I get along with - much less am actually friends with - on one single hand. Even so,
What you guys call the 'Apocalypse,' I used to call Sunday dinner!
Thus getting us all together - even the few 'normal' ones who actually get along - under a single roof for the holidays is about the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas since microwavable fish. From the bickering to the thinly veiled rage and frustrations, the holidays are a tumultuous time for us to say in the least. Fortunately my father's side is a bit more tolerable, but my mother's side is where the real fun begins. Combine the two together and you have a match made in Hell.
Which brings me onto my final point,
#1) The Awkwardness Around the Table
From Republicans versus Democrats to Roman Catholicism verses Protestantism, that awkward moment when the entire family is finally gathered around the table is the de facto reason why I absolutely despise Thanksgiving. To make matters worse, I am extremely shy and antisocial, so I get nervous out of my mind even when surrounded by family. My maternal grandmother does not make it any better - in fact, she is probably the worst, and 90% of the reason alone why the table is such a tormenting experience for me. From badgering me about my job to prodding as to why I am still single, my grandmother has no concept of manners, shame, or embarrassment whatsoever. The fact that she bosses me around like her personal slave just because I happen to be her most polite and submissive grandson does not make things much better either. The table is perhaps THE worst aspect of the Thanksgiving holiday for me. I am so shy and socially anxious that despite graduating high school as student of the year and valedictorian back in 2014, I literally missed graduation because I was that afraid of having to give the final speech.
And that, dear friends, is why Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday of the entire year. Wake me up when Halloween comes back, since at least then I get candy and women in dirty costumes. But this whole turkey and family gathered around the table thing can go.
How do you feel about the Thanksgiving holiday?