The Wisdom of Being a Chatterbox

[ak667]

I felt like engaging in some self-flattery since I enjoy flattering myself a lot. One of the greatest compliments I tend to receive is from me towards me. :-D

But I'm a chatterbox. I enjoy it. Some of my best friends seem to enjoy it. But I've questioned the wisdom (or lack thereof) behind my tendencies as one of those sorts. And I've concluded, as divorced from my own bias as possible, that I'm very wise! :-D

So let me offer some rationale for why I think this is the case. There's definitely an appeal to the quiet, reserved type reluctant to voice his/her opinion. I idolized those types when I was younger.

But here's the problem with that type. If you rarely ever voice your opinions on matters, how are they supposed to change? How can you go from being "blatantly wrong" to "more right" if you never voice your opinions in the first place?

So I actually think it's wiser to be someone who just freely speaks their own mind provided that they are capable of challenging their own opinions. Naturally someone who just voices their own views stubbornly with no capability to challenge their views is not going to gain much from it. But if someone is capable of challenging their views, then I think it's actually a very wise thing to do.

And I like to think my tendencies to chat a lot is a way to put myself out there and challenge myself. If people disagree with my views then I'm challenged to either communicate them more clearly and disambiguate them if the people misunderstand or I'm challenged to change them if they do understand but offer a very contradictory view. Both of these are good and healthy incentives as I see it.

So anyway, here's to the chatterbox types who aren't afraid to present them views with the intent of challenging themselves in the process.

At the moment I came back home and don't have anyone to clash beer mugs with so I'll just drink two beers.

[ladsin]

Two things came to my mind when I was reading this.
1) The loudest person in the room is frequently the weakest.
2) The Dunning-Kruger effect.

That said do what you want man. I engage in pretty heavy conversations with people on a regular basis. This past weekend I had two interesting ones at the bar. The first was after I saw a fellow who had both a tattoo on his hand and an image of the Valknut on his hoodie. We talked about Nordic tradition and it turns out he's the leader of a local pagan group near where I live. The second was with an elderly black gentleman and we talked about the plight of the black community in America. Both were fascinating and interesting, but when talking to people I often take the back seat. I'm more interested in hearing how and what they think than hearing myself talk. I'll try and ask questions follow up questions to get to the heart of their epistemology and if I disagree with them I'll not tell them, instead I'll ask questions to see if I can get them to come to my conclusion on their own.

[ak667]

I might have chosen the wrong word with "chatterbox", since I'm a very patient listener. I'm not sure if those two qualities are normally compatible with each other. Perhaps "outspoken"? Or merely not one who favors silently keeping views to myself. Basically not Clint Eastwood type. :-D

[ak667]

I've learned that by being one of few words, for example, it is hard to avoid conflicts with lovers, for example. Whereas I've found if I share my point of view, and she reciprocates, then we arrive at a mutual understanding, and often can compromise and resolve the conflict. Whereas when I was one of few words, the conflicts often went unresolved, and my views went unchallenged (which were often negative, like "She's so whiny"). Whereas learning to talk a lot more got me to fix my incorrect views by understanding other people's point of view, and helping them to understand mine.

[ak667]

I might have went too extreme with the word, "chatterbox", and maybe partially biased by the culture. Lots of Japanese are very reserved in their opinions, do not want to put them out there to be challenged. They're patient listeners, but often not so eager to share their opinion (at least when sober). And I used to be that way, it's how I grew up. But I found in doing that, you can keep all these views and opinions to yourself but, in the process, hardly learn anything, since you're not putting the views out there for people to challenge. It's like you become your own echo chamber, so to speak.

[ak667]

Something like this:


But naturally this is impossible to do if we never share what we think.

[ladsin]

I figured the word was poor. I agree about discussing important issues and not remaining silent. That's why I pointed out that I do much the same. The only stipulation I thought that I'd make is when discussing things I'm frequently more interested in listening rather than talking myself. I just find it intriguing to learn how and why people think the way they do.

[ak667]

Same. Though I do give an earful sometimes before waiting my turn as you can see, it might be a bit of a fault of mine. :-D But I do wait my turn and the patient listening I think is likewise crucial since if it turns into a total monologue, then that also defeats the purpose. Apologies if I used a very poor wording. I was also really hammered when I wrote it!

I sometimes make the mistake because I used to be so extreme one way as a very quiet and shy type that never put my thoughts and opinions out there that, in contrast, when I started opening up more, it feels like I'm a "chatterbox". But it's probably too extreme of a word -- I might just a little bit on the long-winded side. :-D

I read the dictionary definition in advance and it read like this:
>> noun
>> an excessively talkative person.

And that seems true at least in Japan because I do talk a lot, and on GaG since my posts are so lengthy. :-D But I wouldn't say I'm so loud or lacking the ability to listen when others speak.

[ak667]

* [...] might just [be] a little bit on the long-winded side [well, maybe a lot!]

[ladsin]

Haha no worries, I don't think the term is that bad, it just has to be clarified a bit.

[ak667]

Cheers! :-)

[StingRayxoxo]

Interesting! “If you’re not willing to challenge your own beliefs... then you are your own most effective prison warden.” I appreciate that. It’s valuable to be open to listening to other perspectives/beliefs than you’re own.

[devilish-cutie]

i prefer to talk things out too and find that beneficial
i dont really like peole that dont say anything, feel like they dont bring much to the table and dont put an effort

[White_Widow]

Nicely put and I completely agree. More people should voice their opinions and be open minded enough to challenge them. To grow, learn and become a better person for it. Well done.

[White_Widow]

Oh! And cheers by the way 😋

[smg99]

Absolutely love the ideology you have evolved as your voice

[Selina_Kyle_]

Great Take, now waiting for your next one about how did you become a holywood star!

[Myk13]

As much as I would like to believe that I could have said it better. I probably could not. You nailed it!!!

[nasty4fun]

You know something? I like you. What's even more impressive is that I agree with you.

[supersplif]

being a chtterbox means you are nervous. lots of nervous energy

[Anonymous]

Chatterboxes annoy me.

[blubblubblub]

yay to chatterboxes!

[Secretgardenblood]

Good take