Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!

I am not against healthy masculinity. However, toxic masculinity is harmful for men too.

Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!

I will give some everyday examples and some extreme examples.

In everyday life, men don't feel comfortable talking about their depression, anxiety and stress. This was pointed when Prince William spoke about mental health with footballers.

People also expect men not to cry even if they watch the ending of Titanic, men are not allowed to have emotions. Men are dehumanized everyday with these little expectations that shapes them as a person. This is why even in funerals, men stand quietly whilst women cry loudly and express their sadness.

this is very emotional
this is very emotional
Tears are not always bad!
Tears are not always bad!

I also observed that men don't ask for directions when they are lost. Men don't like asking for help. Every time, my dad was lost, he refused to ask for directions and I used to ask for directions on his behalf. Even in a shop, if he can't find someone, he refuses to ask a staff member and the same thing happens in a train station. Sometimes, when girls are in a car with a guy driving, he will drive for an extra 30 minutes but he will not ask for directions. One girl once said that every guy who gave her a lift did this.

Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!
Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!
Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!

Men also refuse to accept that they also feel cold because they think they are supposed to take their jacket off for a girl.

Now, I will talk about the extreme examples.

The Asian community is a very patriarchal community. There is a pressure on men to be patriarchal with their women to prove themselves as men, something which dehumanizes them. In a patriarchal society, women are expected to submissive in every aspect of their life including the way they dress, education, career and even marriage. The society is constantly judging and shaming women, and men control women because they don't want people judging their women.

For example, a man might not let his women wear what they want to because people will start judging him. As a result, women are not considered individuals, they are only considered someone's daughter, sister, wife and a mother. Women are expected to live their life in a certain way to maintain the image of their conservative families.

This includes daughters, sisters and wives who are not considered individuals.
This includes daughters, sisters and wives who are not considered individuals.

In my Asian community, when a girl is liberal, when she wears what she wants to, does what she wants to, falls in love with whoever she wants to, people start saying things like, "How come her father doesn't say anything?"

If father doesn't say anything, he is shamed by the society for not controlling his daughter. Even brothers and husbands are also shamed for allowing their women to wear what they want to and for allowing their women to do what they want to.

People shame those men by questioning their masculinity. This is where toxic masculinity comes. The society dehumanises men who are sensitive and caring, by shaming them for not wearing pants in the house.

Those men who give freedom to their women, who are sensitive and caring, are called cowards, weak, unmanly and slaves of their wives. People are like "he is his wife's slave that's why he doesn't force her to stay at home 24/7 and be covered from head to toe."

Therefore, the patriarchal and conservative society encourages men to be strict, controlling and dominating to prove that they are men.

Parents feel pressurised by the society to be strict with their daughters because of the line, "What will the people say?" Sometimes, the opinion of people matters more than the happiness of their children, because it is all about the image of the family.

The society turns a father against his daughter, a brother against his sister and a husband against his wife, by judging their women in front of them.

Those men then take the anger out at their women for bringing "shame" to the family, which means somebody said something to them when they were on their way home or over a cup of tea.

This whole concept of trolling, shaming and judging women even causes honour killings as a reaction from male family members.

In Qandeel Baloch's honour killing case, a brother killed his sister for wearing short clothes and social media pictures, but he blamed the society.

He told the police that every single day for years, his neighbours used to shame him for allowing his sister to wear short clothes and post pictures on social media.

Every single day people told him that if he can't control his sister, he is not a man. This is toxic masculinity. After being shamed for years, he killed his sister in the name of honour just to prove that he is a man and just to shut people's mouths, who complained about his sister's clothes and pictures for years.

He told the police that he couldn't leave the house because of the people judging his sister and shaming him, he couldn't live a normal life.

He was treated like an outcast. In this case, the guy was also a victim himself because of the mental stress that the society gave him. The society influenced him to kill his sister by judging his masculinity.

Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!

Priyanka Chopra- Miss World 2000, Bollywood and Hollywood actress and singer
Priyanka Chopra- Miss World 2000, Bollywood and Hollywood actress and singer

Faryal Makhdoom is a big victim of patriarchal society. She is Amir Khan's wife, who is a boxing champion. She was constantly attacked by her Pakistani community for wearing short clothes and for posting pictures on social media. She was also bullied by her own in-laws. Her mother-in-law and father-in-law constantly told her off for not being modest enough, they constantly told Amir to tell his wife.

Their relatives constantly judged them for allowing their daughter-in-law to wear short clothes and for allowing her to put pictures on social media. In cases like this, the family shouts at the son, who then goes on to shout at his wife.

It is like a cycle, the society, the relatives judge the in-laws, the in-laws tell their son off, who then tells his wife.

In some cases, relatives judge the parents by talking bad about their daughter, who then shout at their daughter, instead standing united against the relatives.

The society causes the family members to start fighting against each other, even though they should stand united.

The society and the in-laws were pressurising Amir to be strict with his wife and they even encouraged him to divorce his wife over short clothes and social media pictures.

Shaming language is a big issue, as well blaming and shaming victims
Shaming language is a big issue, as well blaming and shaming victims

From that picture, shaming language, negative female portrayals, objectification and unrealistic standards of beauty are a big issue. In Bollywood and Pakistani films, white women are portrayed as objects and men drool over their white skin. White women are portrayed as pieces of meat and a second class citizen. This is they always have white women in bikinis in the background, instead of making their women wear bikinis.

Sometimes, a white woman in a bikini pops out of nowhere. Those films tell men that if a woman wears revealing clothes or if she is white, then she is up for sex. As a result, uneducated men don't really understand the concept of "consent."

In Asma Aziz's domestic abuse case, people refused to believe she was forced to dance just because she was a party girl and a video was leaked where she was dancing in a party. People failed to understand that just because a woman danced in a party on one day doesn't mean she can be forced to dance the next day when she doesn't feel like it. They also failed to understand that it is wrong to force a party girl to dance. It is justifying the rape of a prostitute.

The entire people were shaming her for being a party girl, for having male friends, for having a 6 month relationship outside marriage, for drinking alcohol, instead of saying it was wrong to abuse her and it was wrong to force her to dance when she didn't want to.

Some people called it a divine punishment for breaking conservative values. In one case, when a 8 month pregnant singer was shot dead for refusing to dance, people didn't feel sorry for her. They began judging her character instead even though this was way of earning bread.

People of the patriarchy community use shaming language against women. Shaming languageis even used against victims like Qandeel Baloch, who is a victim of honour killing and Asma Aziz, who is a victim of domestic abuse. Asma Aziz was shamed for being a party girl and for having a relationship outside marriage for 6 months before getting married.

Pakistanis refuse to feel sorry for those women just because they didn't live and dress according to conservative values. This is where victim blaming and shaming comes. This is done by women too.

Pakistan shames liberal women, who say "my body, my choice," because that goes against their conservative values.

Shaming language was used against Faryal Makhdoom and actresses including Mehwish Hayat, Mahira Khan, Priyanka Chopra and Sana Javed.

Mehwish Hayat was trolled on social media for receiving a national award on Pakistan's day. People think an actress didn't deserve it because acting is considered a taboo, and people thought women who wear revealing clothes and dance should be treated like an outcast. People kept saying giving an actress a national award was against Islam and they even accused her of sleeping with someone to get the award.

Mahira Khan was badly trolled when her pictures with Ranbir leaked, where she was showing her arms and back, and she was smoking. Can you believe this, in the 21st century, a woman being trolled for showing her arms and back??? When she attended an awards function, she wore a sleeveless dress and was trolled again for showing her arms. LOL at my community.

Sana Javed was trolled for her romantic song called Beliya. That song had no lip kiss or bikini. In the song, she was wearing a sari and hugging and people thought it was too provocative. lol.

Now I need to post it because it is time for me to open my fast, it is 8:45pm and my mom is calling me. I don't even know if this mytake makes sense, just had to take my frustration out. This is like me crying a diary that everybody gets to read. Writing with a pen is too much of an effort. I feel like one mytake could have been about toxic masculinity and the other about toxic patriarchy.

Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Anonymous

    I dont agree with most of this take. Men and women are biologically different, that's not soceity. Men respond less emotionally than we women do. They are less likely ask for help because they like to be more self sufficient and accomplish things themselves which is mostly a good quality. Men generally feel less cold than women hence why there's often a battle between men and women to control the hearing thermostat or the air conditioning.

    Khans wife was bullied by women which is toxic femininityand nothing to do with men.

    Pakistani culture has a lot of negative aspects to it from what i see in Britain. The culture of rape, spousal abuse, incest, islamic extremism, honor killing.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy. Pakistanis justified Asma Aziz being tortured just because she was a party girl. They troll Pakistani actresses for wearing short clothes. Honour killings, domestic abuse, forced marriages, acid attacks, rapes, harassment are a big problem in Pakistan but the bigger problem is shaming victims. Shaming women is the root cause of honour killings, domestic abuse, rapes and harassment. Islamic extremists think any woman who has her head uncovered or has a white skin, doesn't deserve respect. In Iran, non-Hijabis are attacked in public. Patriarchy gave birth to female infanticide, honour killings, domestic abuse and forced marriages.

    • Show All
    • Shezadi

      what does incest mean?

    • Anonymous

      Marry your cousin

  • Anonymous

    It's quite refreshing to see this perspective applied to non-western culture, because most of the time when feminists talk about patriarchy and toxic masculinity, they're talking about western culture, but they neglect the fact that non-western culture is many times more patriarchal.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide happens in India and China the most.

Most Helpful Guys

  • HereIbe

    So much butthurt in the responses. I haz a funny.

    • Inbox

      Are you going to die? LOL.

    • Show All
    • Inbox

      @Shezadi A feminist using a social traditional norm and/or a sexist argument to win against sexism - classic. Hereble and I have business - you’re always welcome... to join 😎

    • Shezadi

      @Inbox What business?

  • Muhammad1999

    Good take

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

What Girls & Guys Said

1780
  • ADFSDF1996

    All I had to do was read the title to your take to know it was going to be more of the cliché liberal 4th wave feminist rhetoric. But I still skimmed through and sure enough I saw a lot of generalizations, ethnocentrism, barking up the wrong tree and scapegoating.

    First of all, who ever said men don’t show emotion? We do, men who are very close friends don’t hesitate to share their problems with each other. But ironically men tend hide their emotions around the women they are attracted to because it’s a turn off for many women. One girl in my art class even said that she has no sympathy for guys who cry.

    Second of all, You also showed why people of Asian descent are distancing themselves from the liberal community. You liberals criticize Asians and Asian culture by applying both sweeping and hasty generalizations. I’m half Asian myself and I know the liberals don’t care about the Asian community. The strained relations between Asian-Americans and liberals explained ↗

    Lastly why are you making it seem as if women are always the victims and men are always the aggressors? You see, the title of your take is misleading since your last paragraphs is nothing more than scapegoating men as “violent misogynistic perverts”. Why not talk about the occasions when women hurt men, women hurt other women etc. Why the false dichotomy? Anybody can be violent, it doesn’t matter what their sex, sexual orientation, race, religion or political ideology is. www.scientificamerican.com/.../?redirect=1

    • Grobmate

      Spot on mate!

    • Show All
    • Twenty2

      Liberals are killing babies (aborting babies) just because they can. That's even worse. You supporting liberals, is you supporting killing of babies.

    • Calling men 'bad' is a new fashion trend dear. ignore.

  • OlderAndWiser

    Almost 100% of men were raised by women. End of discussion.

    • Shezadi

      I can't believe 9 boys actually liked your comment and no girls liked it.

    • Show All
    • PearBread

      They don't have the one child policy anymore.

    • Shezadi

      @PearBread great but too many baby girls were aborted or killed without a mother's permission. That loss can not be compensated.

  • CoffeeWC

    Liberals are even more toxic

    • Shezadi

      liberals don't do honour killings and female infanticide.

    • Show All
    • HereIbe

      @Twenty2, you all growed up, eh? How CUTE of you to think so.

    • They do. You just have no idea.

  • BrittBratt2416

    Okay here's my thing, we need to stop saying toxic masculinity and femininity altogether. masculinity or femininity in itself is not toxic, There's just toxic people. You're femininity or masculinity isn't what makes you a toxic person, it's your mind and personality that does. there's plenty of toxic people in the world and it's because we have so much brokenness going on that isn't being fixed mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. So it's this never ending cry for help, I think our souls subconsciously cry for help and guidance but we don't know how to say the words so what do we do to get attention? We lash out cause we don't feel like we are being heard.

    I also don't think patriarchy is bad or evil, it's a good thing to have men who build and are leaders for their families and communities, unfortunately there were a lot of men who abuse their leadership for their own personal gain and because of that it made patriarchy seem like a bad thing to a lot of women. Like yes, you are the man who is suppose to lead his family but because you do that doesn't mean you treat people especially women with disrespect.

    • Inbox

      All hail BrittBratt2416!

    • Shezadi

      American women don't understand the pain of women who live in different countries. American women take so many rights for granted that are still privileges for women across the world. American women take those rights for granted, that women still sacrifice their lives for. A woman who was never denied rights will unsurprisingly never feel enthusiastic about feminism. A woman who was never denied any rights will always be positive and nicey nicey.

  • Do research. Women dehumanize men, your doing it right now (by suggesting we have some kind of inherent toxicity. Have you ever talked about toxic femininity? No. Have you ever heard any one else talk about toxic femininity? No. But you hear women bashing men, again like your doing, at every single turn.). Lets look at statistics, who gets attacked by the opposite gender more? Men. Men are more likely to be harassed online then women: www.thedailybeast.com/men-are-harassed-more-than-women-online
    Who is more likely to be abused men or women? Men: www.saveservices.org/.../
    www.medicaldaily.com/domestic-violence-against-men-women-more-likely-be-intimate-terrorists-controlling-behavior-290662
    When it comes to rape, who is more likely to commit it and who is more likely to be a victim of it? Well, it turns out your as likely to have a man raped by a woman as the other way around: www.usatoday.com/.../
    So who is more likely to be given leniency when it comes to crimes, men or women? Women: aacriminallaw.com/.../
    www.telegraph.co.uk/.../
    So who has more reproductive rights, men or women? Women: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermesmann_v._Seyer
    (a 12 year old boy was raped by his babysitter then forced to pay child support to her. Its been upheld multiple times in other cases).
    When a woman accuses a man of a crime do we automatically believe the man or the woman without evidence? The woman: iotwreport.com/.../

    • This despite the fact that we know that upwards of 40% of all sexual assault and rape accusations are false: www.mediaradar.org/...n_false_rape_allegations.php
      (their was another study done in Israel that showed the same thing as well as a military one that had the same results).
      After divorce who suffers the most, men or women? Men: mensdivorce.com/suicide-rates-high-divorced-men/
      dadsdivorce.com/.../
      www.nationalparentsorganization.org/.../22457-studies-show-judicial-bias-against-dads
      (yet divorce is initiated the majority of the time by women).
      Who is more likely to be discriminated against in education? Men:
      www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...ims-discrimination.html
      Yet when men suffer, do we see people talking about it? No (for example suicides are 80% male, homelessness 80% male, workplace accidents and deaths 97% male etc. etc.). The fact is your argument itself shows the animosity and hatred society and in particular, women, have for men and how they routinely dehumanize them by portraying them as violent when they are not, portray them as sexist even as women and society are sexist towards them, claim that they are oppressing women even as men have fewer legal rights and are afforded overwhelmingly less compassion then women. You are wrong, plain and simple.

    • Show All
    • So again you have revealed your absolute hatred of men by ignoring their suffering that often leads to them being murdered and instead focusing on the women's suffering which rarely goes beyond hurting their feelings. You also ignore male suffering because in the face of inconvience for women and a male being murdered horribly you cannot claim women are oppressed because the gulf between hurt feelings and being say burned alive is simply too wide. That's yet more evidence of the dehumanization of men, you ignore their suffering, fixate on the much slighter suffering of women then turn around and blame men instead of the society as a whole (which women are most definitely apart of), which is doubly worse for both ignoring them and then blaming them. As for wearing the veil, most muslim nations do not actually force that, its a choice made by many women. As I said fundamentalists force their beliefs on others, its fundamentalists that dehumanize those they don't agree with, the irony being that you are in fact a fundamentalists and are doing just that. If its bad to shame a woman for her clothing and demand she cover her face, how bad is it to shame a male for the simple fact that they are male? To claim that they are evil and sexist and oppressive and that they are never victims and are the ones who are violent (again despite evidence to the contrary) simply because they happen to have been born male? Your as bad if not worse then the people you claim to hate. As for men not being trolled, your completely wrong. Men are punished for every single thing. Now its true its rarely about clothes, but usually they are ridiculed for simply being male (like what you and every other feminist does), they are blamed for every single thing, if they hold a door open they are sexist, if they don't they are also sexist. If they pay for a date they are sexist, if they don't they are a cheapskate, etc. etc.

    • As for the police doing nothing, first and foremost I don't pay attention to what the UK does because quite frankly they have listened to people like you. They listen to the left and they are not allowed to do anything because it would be "racist". Again, people like yourself demanded they step down and do nothing. Probably because people like you need women mistreated so you can claim victimhood for yourself. Second those events are still rare (but increasingly more common the more fundamentalists are allowed to enforce their rules). Third at no point, unlike you, did I suggest the opposite gender doesn't have bad things happen to them. YOU suggested this, you decided that men never suffer (Despite being the most likely group to suffer in all catagories with out exception), I simply stated that statistically men suffer more and its you who is dead set on dehumanizing men. Your the problem, your the one allowing suffering to occur your the one demanding that men suffer even more because you don't want to admit that men are people. You see them as things to be used and discarded and quite frankly you should be disgusted with yourself. Your not because again, that would require you to see men as human and you simply, for what ever reason, lack the capacity to do so. This is why almost all violent crime victims are male, suicides are male, homeless are male, workplace accidents and deaths are male, combat deaths (civilian and military) are male etc. because people like you are perfectly fine with all the violence and pain and suffering as long as it happens to non humans i. e. men.

  • ZeussLightningBolt

    The thing about asking for directions and not reading the instructions is 100% true. I thought at first it was my introverted nature, but I see now that ALL men are like this.

    As for the clothing part, I DO want my girl to look decent in public.

    But other than that, I agree with you.
    I don't know if you heard about "Travellight". Basically her idiot boyfriend left her alone in India and she couldn't leave her hotel room for 3 days, because Indian men were standing outside trying to come in.

    Then she said, "I'm going to Pakistan!"
    Pakistanis were commenting, "YES! Come to Pakistan! This would NEVER happened here. If someone harassed you, Pakistani men would protect you! Pakistan is safe for women!"

    I was in disbelieve! Pakistan is one of the most misogynistic societies on the planet. Your comments about the actresses proves it. They think just because they had a woman president, that they are a woman friendly culture. Oddly enough, most of the people making these comments were Pakistani men.
    I don't know where people are getting all these ideas that Pakistan is a woman friendly society.

    That is very sad about the honor killings. I even read a story about an Indian woman in the U. S. who was "disobeying" her husband, and he actually paid her family members to come down from India and beat her up.
    But really, you would need to change an entire culture's mentality, and this won't happened if men are too scared to stand up for what they know is right. It seems that that Christian men are much quicker to come the defense of their woman.
    About the clothing, that's very true. Muslim men come to Europe and she women with exposed skin, and think it means that they should give them their pussies.

    Lastly, I will say THIS
    Yemen and Afghanistan don't actually require women to cover themselves. But they still do, WHY? Because if they didn't they would be harassed.
    75% of Iranian women said they would prefer not to wear a headscarf, but the reality was, if the law changed any woman who didn't wear one would be harassed. I saw a video where a group of Iranian women were walking without headscarfs, one guy told them, "Good job" another man punched them.

    I also saw a video recently about a Muslim man berating a flight attendant for giving him pork. When she told him to "calm down and stop being disrespectful", he started calling her a bitch and a slut, because he was angry that a woman as telling him what to do.

    I also saw a documentary about a radical Muslim family. The husband wouldn';t even let his wife get filmed, and when he got his leg blown off, his sons were allowed to cry but his wife wasn't and he told his sons, "If your cousin walks outside without a headscarf again shoot her." And they were throwing rocks at girls at school. And the cousin wasn't allowed to swim with the boys.

    I feel so bad for the women in those countries. My mom always says, "They should just take sticks and beat the shit out of those men."

    Like I said, we will need to change an entire culture's mentality.

    Sorry for the long comment.

    • Shezadi

      I read all of it even though my chicken biryani is getting cold downstairs. I agree with everything you said. I heard about travel light and Pakistanis were praising themselves just because they hate Indians, it made my BLOOD BOIL SO MUCH. Even though I am also a Pakistani. They didn't respect Qandeel Baloch, Asma Aziz, Mehwish Hayat,

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    • I'm starting to like Pakistanis. The girls at least.
      Actually, if you look at all the negative stereotypes that exist.

      "Muslims are terrorists and woman abusers"
      "Latinos are killers and scammers"
      "Blacks are so violent and angry"
      "Indians are perverts"

      Most of those stereotypes are actually referring to MEN
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jiog8hrzigk

    • Shezadi

      The fact I agree with you without being bias and partial as a Pakistanis make me SO PROUD of myself. 0.1% Pakistanis will actually accept the negative side of their society. 99.9% Pakistanis will never accept the negative side of their society, they will just beat around the bush, play around with words, say sweet things, or be innocent and naive like you said. Pakistanis are VERY stubborn, bias, partial and yes ignorant to women suffering in their country. When someone praises them, he becomes a god and when someone points out FACTS, he becomes their enemy or racist even if he is just stating the truth. They don't really about women, they just care about their image and reputation. They don't understand that those victims are also PAKISTANIS, people of their country, who suffered in their own country by the hands of their own people. Asians should never let ego get in their way when it comes to feminism. There is no point in arguing with a bias Asian.

  • SkipStop

    Ha! I don't even need to read this sh*t because I already know what's written. You are just another misandrist aka man-hater. Your language is so easy to spot. Seriously, it's so pathetic. And most men are not violent towards women. That's just another one of your feminist sh*t talk that can be spotted from a mile away. Stop listening and reading to that liberal content. It's a bunch of lies created by misandrists and being used to destroy society.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.

    • SkipStop

      So not true. Not even in tribes in the middle of nowhere.

  • DizzyDesii

    In the black community men pull over quick to ask directions at a gas station. They ain tryna get lost and end up eaten like on Wrong Turn 😂 and if its a funeral, they either dont attend or if they do attend, they cry more then the women especially if it was their grandma or mom.

    • Shezadi

      LOL! You made my day.

    • Show All
    • Shezadi

      @tiajoka You don't know what it is like to be a woman in some countries and you will NEVER know because you live in AMERICA, where you take so many things for granted without even knowing. When I think about female infanticide, you being born is a right many baby girls didn't get, you being accepted by your father on day one is also a privilege for many, you being accepted by your grandma who wanted a grandson is also a privilege for some, you being allowed to go to school, to do a job, going outside on your own, wearing what you want to, marrying who you want to and getting justice by the legal system. An American woman will NEVER understand the pain of an Asian, African or a Muslim woman. American liberals live in bubbles like my university professor said. They can't see what people are going through across the world.

    • Shezadi

      @tiajoka it is not racist to ask someone's ethnicity. Stop this self-righteous behaviour.

  • LogicBomber

    Toxic masculinity and patriarchy... to made up anti-male feminist words used to attack and shame the one sex that creates and maintains all things in the world that make their entitled narcissistic asshole lives comfortable.
    Those who use the words and believe they are real things prove they have a mental disorder and are incapable of thinking past the mind of a child.

    • Shezadi

      When was a man killed in the name of honour or shamed for giving birth to a daughter?
      When was a pregnant woman forced to have a abortion just because she was expecting a son?
      When did a man get arrested for not wearing the hijab?

    • That isn't toxic masculinity.
      Being killed for protecting your family isn't toxic. Without the shit you consider toxic... we would not have the society we live in. Which is why the only societies 100% controlled by women are two tribes that still live in grass huts.
      Being shamed for having a daughter is a nonsense cultural thing, NOT toxic masculinity.
      Don't blame males for the bullshit ideas of one culture.
      Also, the absolute shit society and beliefs of 3rd world religious idiots is not toxic masculinity, it's toxic bullshit religious nonsense.

      Should we call women killing their children toxic femininity?
      Should we call the abuse of the gynocentric society toxic femininity?
      Where 13-40 year old women walk around almost naked without recourse and then shame males for taking attention?
      How about the female abuse of the parental system and courts?
      The paternity fraud?
      The epidemic of female teachers having sex with children and not getting punished for it?
      The absolute violence and abuse women get away with simply for being female?
      All the bullying and violence of the bullshit feminist movement?

      If you ask me, femininity is WAY more toxic than masculinity.

  • Lynx122

    Never seen so much bullshit. I think the most toxic thing is women telling men how they're supposed to behave and which parts of masculinity are allowed. You're telling us that women get judged too much, but look at what you're doing. And then go disguise it as benevolent when it's really just misandry.

    • HereIbe

      We get it, you're a whiny crybaby.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.

    • Lynx122

      lmao

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  • morrowlow

    oh you messed up! you tried to make it sound like you care about men but then you revealed your true intentions which was to whine just like any of those feminists out there who can't do nothing but whining. i'll tell you what's dehumanizing to men. you bunch constantly implying that the only purpose a man can serve is to be a wimp who busts his ass for women. providing for them and defending them whether those women are his family or strangers. according to people like you a man has no individuality and his masculinity is healthy as long as it serves women but if that masculinity serves the guy himself in some way then it's toxic. i think it's totally natural that men don't want females in their family to be sluts. but your concern is not men's well being. you women want to have total freedom with no liability but the world doesn't work like that and it just shows women's immaturity. if you really cared about men and how they live you wouldn't try to change men, you'd change women. women are just paranoid and think everyone out there is after them. this is caused by their insecurities and their deep feeling of weakness that they try to cover up by misandrist movements they claim is empowering to women. men never got women to be weak and i can't understand why men are being blamed for all the troubles women get themselves into

    • Shezadi

      When was a man killed in the name of honour or shamed for giving birth to a daughter?
      When was a pregnant woman forced to have a abortion just because she was expecting a son?
      When did a man get arrested for not wearing the hijab?

    • morrowlow

      what is that supposed to prove? men are killed and harassed and persecuted in way harsher ways. you shouldn't try to find the biggest victims cause it's never going to be the women. i just said your definition of healthy masculinity involves all the qualities that favor women and that's not what manhood is about. plus we hear all the time that women won't let men define and label them anymore so by that logic , as a woman, you have no right to define what men are supposed to be. by the way more men have been killed in the name of honor. whatever the cause, more men have always been killed

  • LeeKenz

    Society hasn't "dehumanized" men. It isn't showing them as evil things. Talking about them like there not people.

    But has society skewed views on "how men should act"? Sure, but they do the same for women. Don't forget that. Society poses men as strong and unemotional sometimes. But more often than not they just show men as how men are, at least what I watch and see. (That's another thing it depends on what you watch or listen to.) but society does the same thing to women, making them look like vulnerable and weak, or course now women are getting more prominent which I guess is great, but i think the feminazis have taken some things way too far. Empowering women in the wrong things and knocking men down. That is not what feminism is.

    Also, society doesn't turn men to be violent towards women. It's how there raised and what they see growing up, and sometimes just who they are, the majority of men don't like to be violent towards women.

    Men don't share their emotions as easily because they don't want to appear "weak" but some women are the same way, I know I don't show my emotions easily. I think it's perfectly fine when guys cry. The saying, "grown men cry" is absolutely true. But it's also true that men are just genetically more stubborn. Haha. I could go on forever but I'm gonna stop here.

    • Shezadi

      Thanks for expressing your views in a professional manner unlike most people who resort to using bad language. I always appreciate conflicting opinions if they are expressed the right way. I liked your comment just because you know how to convey a message the right way unlike most people.

    • LeeKenz

      Thanks

  • GuidoThePizzaMaker

    The only toxic masculinity that exists in overwhelmingly from developing countries.
    It was European societies where women were given a role and culturally supposed to be treated with dignity, if they fulfilled that role
    No man will ever respect a loose woman who displays little morality.
    Thats the biggest problem today, women are encouraged by the media to be whores and men are told to deal with it, or to partake in that culture.

    It sucks that you are stuck in this muslim paradigm. I think islam was beneficial to bring order to the Middle east in the times of Mohammed, it served its purpose. I dont think it can exist in already civilized society. People who are savages, need Sharia, to maintain a semblance of order.
    Thats why north india was so easily conquered by the muslim invaders, they had no order. And the muslims brought it with the sword.

    The day Muslims renounce the prophet and accept Jesus Christ is the day that women won't have to deal with toxic masculinity in the middle east.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.
      Honour killings, domestic abuse are never justified even if a woman is immoral.

  • UI_Vegeta01

    Women act like everything revolves around them. Just sit the fuck down mate. The world could give two less shit about what you think. We can be whatever we want. This “toxic masculinity” is bullshit. The last thing I want to hear is a woman telling me “how to be a MAN”. Nonsense.

    • Shezadi

      have any opinion on female infanticide.

  • ROCKS128

    See...
    You are seeking support, which you have not been getting.
    You are hurt/suffered or have seen from people around you.
    You want to speak up, want changes to happen.
    But you are afraid to speak for your own self.

    That is why you are including others here, trying to somehow relate things which are different.

    Where ever i see you are speaking about killing women, female infanticide, no rights, forced prostitution.
    These are not that common everywhere.
    And things are different related than what you show.

    I dont know about liberals, rightists and others, i dont even know what they are and how they think.

    But it really makes me sad you are using things in wrong ways.
    Im concerned coz you picked up many things from my Country, to relate to your own problems in the name of Society as Global
    (Again im not stating any race)
    Call me insecure or whatever, i am past such things...

    And you forgot many main things, just coz you dont know them!

    But really! Its Yourtake, put whatever you wanna take...

  • HungLikeAHorsefly

    To be honest, your Take is tl;dr but going by the negative reactions you're getting by dudes who couldn't have a serious discussion about masculinity even if their balls finally dropped... chances are good you said something at least halfway correct.

    • Shezadi

      honour killings and female infanticide only happen to women.

    • Female infanticide only happens to women *by definition*.

    • Err, my bad. It only happens to females.

  • sadassad

    Well your post was full of b. s.
    I challenge you to name just one legal privilage that males have and females don't. (Not the type of bullshit such as not worrying about being called. I am tallking about legal right which are encoded IN LAW or enforced by courts/ or ADVANTAGES which are granted by public entities.)
    Here are some that YOU FEMALES have and I DON'T have as a male.
    1) Women are always granted the custody of children and divorce by default unless the man can proove the woman is unfit to care for them.(Source : Misrepresentation of Gender Bias in the 1989 Report of the Gender Bias Committee of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court) <- Also this is despite the fact that children are twice as likely to be abused by their mother than they are by their father ACCORDING to page 49 of child maltreatment of 2013 published by the US Department of Health and services.
    2) Women have more social safety nets designed for them which why they only make up 24 percent of the homeless population (Source Page 2 of the Who is Homeless? published by the national Coalition for the homeless)
    3) Women get more lenient sentences for equivalent crimes (see estimating gender desparities and federal criminal cases by Sonia B)
    4) A woman can get a male coworker fired from his job by simply accusing him of sexual harassment even without proving it. Its so easy for a woman to get a man fired out of his job that men are now starting to avoid women in the workplace and are refusing to mentor them.(Read the book sex in the office by Kim Elsessser, Phd)
    5) In california can declare a man to be the father of her child and sue him for child support and its to the man to prove that he isn't the father by taking a DNA test and he only gets 30 days to do so if doesn't do it in that time then a court can declare him the father even if he prooves that he is not later on.(Disrupting paternity)
    6) A woman can sue a sperm donor for child support (Kansas court was in the news)
    7) A woman who gets pregnant with stolen sperm can sue the man she stole the sperm from for child support (Uptown "woman used sperm from oral sex to get pregnant, gets child support"/ Woman has twins with ex-boyfriend's stolen sperm , courts rule ex to pay child support/ Woman steals ex-husband's sperm and collects almost 200k in Back chld support/<- all of them are true look them up)
    Small pause. Before you argue that a man should "keep it in his pants if he doesn't want to be a father", imagine if you heard a conservative christian arguing against abortion by saying "women should keep their legs together if they dont want to be mothers" I THINK YOU WOULD LOOSE YOUR SHIT.
    A woman who gets pregnant by raping a man or UNDERAGE BOY can sue him for child support (Hermesmann vs Seyer WIKIPEDIA)
    9) Domestic violence against women is actually taken seriously men are always presumed to be the aggressors in domestic violence cases despite the fact that CDC statistics have found that more than 70% of non reciprocated domestic violence is perpetuated by women. EVEN WHEN A MAN IS RECOGNIZED AS BEING A VICTIM OF ABUSE HE IS ALMOST ALWAYS PRESUMED TO BE AT FAULT PEOPLE ASK WHAT DID HE DO TO PISS HER OFF.

    • Shezadi

      This was not about America, it was about Asian and Islamic countries that are patriarchal and conservative.

    • Show All
    • sadassad

      Sooo whats the problem with me being 16?

    • sadassad

      Yes I am white.

  • Gedaria

    This sort of thing annoys me, I have had my bad times with women but never gone off one like you portray. Maybe because I was brought up in s female house and learnt to respect people mainly women. I don't see me was the master of the genders and just because I have a cock between my legs gives me any intitlement to bullie anyone most certainly not women. Some will say I am wrong but I think they should look how they treat people first before pointing the finger...

    • Shezadi

      I will speak against female infanticide, honour killings, domestic abuse, forced marriages, acid attacks, rapes and harassment.

    • Gedaria

      Yes men have piled up a lot of trouble against women. I wish I had the power to reverse these , men have this thing as if women have been here to do their bidding. It makes me so angry, ...

  • englisc

    I wish people who don't have dicks would stop talking about masculinity and how men think/feel as if they even have a clue.

    • Shezadi

      honour killings and female infanticide.

    • Show All
    • Shezadi

      what I don't know about men? Release your feelings.

    • englisc

      You don't understand the way men think, how we process feelings differently. Women have this thing where they think that men are just like women with our emotions but that we hold back because of societal pressure, when really we're just very different. For example women like to talk a lot about feelings, that's how they deal with them, by venting. For men usually this feels like a huge waste of time, instead we prefer practical solutions to whatever our problems are.

      So for example, I'm a guy who suffered with severe depression, to the point where I was suicidal. Most people would say that I should talk about it. I was given counselling and stuff like that. How much did that help me? It didn't. Talking about it was a waste of time for me, it didn't fix the problem. Instead, I figured out practical solutions: eating the right foods, getting better sleep, exercising more, getting out more, having things to work towards/goals.

      Like people often say, when women complain about things they often don't want you to butt in and give solutions, and find it annoying if you do. Instead they just want to talk and emote. Men are the complete opposite. That's why we're not as emotionally expressive as women.

      It also all has to do with hormone levels and things like that, hormones don't only change our appearances but also the way we think. As do our very different experiences.

  • anon1903

    mind blowing take esp the Asian men point, it's all pointless to control another human being. I've this surfacing growing hatred for toxic masculinity, what is society tryna prove?

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy. Pakistanis justified Asma Aziz being tortured just because she was a party girl. They troll Pakistani actresses for wearing short clothes. Honour killings, domestic abuse, forced marriages, acid attacks, rapes, harassment are a big problem in Pakistan but the bigger problem is shaming victims. Shaming women is the root cause of honour killings, domestic abuse, rapes and harassment. Islamic extremists think any woman who has her head uncovered or has a white skin, doesn't deserve respect. In Iran, non-Hijabis are attacked in public. Patriarchy gave birth to female infanticide, honour killings, domestic abuse and forced marriages.

  • ret04

    Nice "men are rotten and evil" collage you've constructed here. I see how you went with the everything in existence that's wrong angle. I kinda think it looks like a turtle playing a ukulele.

    I will say that I've cried my whole life. It's never helped. Also, I'd rather die than sleep in a room without the AC on at least 70. I am hot all of the time, not cold.

  • Lightning8

    You know, I had to stop at the "do men cry?" meme. Because that by itself proves that this isn't just a patriarchy thing. Women share a lot of responsibility in this. Ask how many girls, both here and irl how fast they would dump their boyfriend if they caught him crying once, twice or more.

    • Lightning8

      Then ask how quickly and deeply they lose attraction to him when he cries.

      Men don't hide their emotions for no reason.

  • Luvsmybabydoll

    Tbh I stopped reading this after the first paragraph because I felt compelled as a mother four males two of which are adults a 11 and 5year olds and I recognize a significantly different development pattern to my daughter their first 11 years are full of unregulated emotions ie. cry a lot and needing my security and reassurance.
    I have a little mantra my family laugh about “that men don’t cry because they do all their crying in their first 12 year”
    There is a huge biological factor her and FYI women are the opposite!

    • Shezadi

      I feel sad and offended that you didn't read my full article. How can you judge a article without reading it fully? I put a lot of effort into this, it is my art.

    • its your bull crap... she did the right thing by not reading it and wasting her time ... get a life terrorist

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.

  • Jager66

    This is just Feminist propaganda..

    It's about as helpful as the more radical MGTOW stuff.

    • Shezadi

      even if women advise men they are not violent, women don't do honour killings, domestic abuse, acid attacks or force someone into marriage to make a point.

    • Jager66

      women are just as evil as men are, if you believe otherwise you have a toxic belief system based on lies.

  • Guanfei

    And again, somehow, even when we're pointed as victims, it's still our fault and we end up being the villains.

    • Shezadi

      When was a man killed in the name of honour or shamed for giving birth to a daughter?
      When was a pregnant woman forced to have a abortion just because she was expecting a son?
      When did a man get arrested for not wearing the hijab?

  • CandacePerry

    UK is is shit. There more asshole on any other countries. Society is all about social media in the UK. Every girl that I did met in college all drama queen and mean girls. Boys in college always play with feel. It not better it worst.

    • Shezadi

      You can live in a country where female infanticide and honour killings are still prevalent.
      If you were in India or China, you would have been aborted without your mother's permission because people prefer sons and daughters. Or you would have been shot or abandoned before the age of 5 because daughters are treated like a burden. You would have been married off before the age of 18 because of parents who treat daughters like a burden. And then you would have had to live with your abusive husband just to have two meals a day and a roof over your head. You would have killed for having a boyfriend, no love marriage, education, job. Even after getting raped, people would have blamed your clothes.

  • morimeme1

    I do not get why men are so aggravated by this post, most of them are from the western culture and act like it is a personal attack on them for some reason. Yes, women also take part in shaming other women because they have been subjugated to such culture but that doesn't make them less opressed by male dominance, it is a circle from which it is extremely hard to escape if you live in a society like that...

  • tiajoka

    I agree there's problems especially in middle eastern countries, and India especially but don't really agree if you're just talking about America in general *shrug*

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy. Pakistanis justified Asma Aziz being tortured just because she was a party girl. They troll Pakistani actresses for wearing short clothes. Honour killings, domestic abuse, forced marriages, acid attacks, rapes, harassment are a big problem in Pakistan but the bigger problem is shaming victims. Shaming women is the root cause of honour killings, domestic abuse, rapes and harassment. Islamic extremists think any woman who has her head uncovered or has a white skin, doesn't deserve respect. In Iran, non-Hijabis are attacked in public. Patriarchy gave birth to female infanticide, honour killings, domestic abuse and forced marriages.

  • bamesjond0069

    This is so dumb. Men get violent when you feminize them. ie boys play cops and robbers and rough house, gets out aggression in a healthy way. Lib teacher says its not ok and so then the boys hold it in until one punches the other in the face because he gets angry.

    Notice school shooters are typically guys who want to be manly ie like video games and action movies and guns BUT who aren't able to express it in real life, they can't get the girl, aren't allowed to have guns, get expelled from school for questionable behavior such as light fighting and minor bullying/being bullied... etc.

    When I was a kid I lived in super liberal area and I was very violent. Then I moved to a very conservative area and got to do man things all the time and got wayyyyyy calmer.

    Toxic masculinity is things like feminizing men ie metrosexual and shit like that. That is toxic.

    • Shezadi

      so men feel the need to shoot people and punch people to feel like a man= toxic masculinity
      and a man should treat a girl like his love not like his pride just to show off in front of his friends and make them jealous and to feel like a cool dude.

    • Show All
    • Shezadi

      @Twenty2 in my Pakistani village, a man was arrested for running away with his girlfriend and the girl was killed by her brother.

    • Twenty2

      That's Pakistan for you. Pakistani men treats women as pieces of shit like you posted in a post telling about how a woman's head was shaved off and the female judge gave decision on the husband's favour.

  • RationalMale

    Great, another woman trying to ladysplain to men what we think masculinity is and what she think's we're supposed to be like.

    Toxic masculinity and patriarchy: How the society dehumanizes men and turns them violent towards women!

  • ronaldo75

    Oh... gee... another long winded bullshit post about men being bad. what a surprise..

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.

    • ronaldo75

      Patriarchy my fucking ass. Stop your tit-for-tat nonesne. In countries where little girls and female newborns are killed it's WOMEN who push for it just the same. Female genital mutilation is almost always pushed by the mother in Africa and the Middle East because they think it looks "cleaner". In Asia it's WOMEN who love being in families with lots of men because WOMEN believe men bring more wealth to the family and that girls are just deadweight to marry off into another family. Do some research before talking shit. My family comes from a country where when girls are born it's almost always the mom who feels disappointed where fathers in turn LOVE their daughters.

    • ronaldo75

      Where my family is from Grand MOTHERS are also another group that jump for joy when they see boy is born but catch and attitude and never have the same energy when grand daughter is born. For you to say female infanticide is because of men shows you're a really young 3rd wave feminist who has NO IDEA what you're talking about.

  • ChurchOfIron

    What are the tenets of toxic femininity? Is there such a thing?

    This idea. To me, it is simply an attack on masculinity, itself. Not "toxic masculinity". Masculinity, in general. The American Psychological Association recently came out with a statement saying that 'Masculinity is a mental disorder.'

    In a couple years from now, I'm guessing your perception will change to masculinity itself is a sin. "The only good man is a woman in a man's body."

    This idea of yours. To me, it is toxic femininity. Very toxic. Claiming that men are defective women. That if only men behaved more like women, everything would be perfect. I don't believe that. I believe men need to be men. And that our fundamental nature is to protect and love women.

    Men are not defective women. We are men.

    • Shezadi

      honour killings and female infanticide only happen to women.

    • Okay. Most killings are of men, overall. And women kill babies and young children the most.

      You're so focused on women, you don't see men or boy's suffering, at all. Or, it's likely that you will say "Well, that's because men ask for it." Or some shit like that, yeah? No judgement. I get it. But I feel you could benefit more by looking at things objectively. If humans are suffering, that's bad. It doesn't matter what they have between their legs. In my opinion. If you believe otherwise, that's cool, too. At least you're coming from compassion, on some level.

    • Shezadi

      "At least you're coming from compassion, on some level."
      yes

  • buttcrackjoe

    Boo hoo, you need to find more productive things in life to dwell on.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.

  • sean1234

    I have never cried at a funeral, but then again I guess in the back of my mind, I figure that if you go to heaven after you die, you will meet up with your relatives and friends anyways.

    From a biblical standpoint. King James Version bible that is, during the rapture when the dead rise from the grave, then the living and both go to heaven, it will be as if all that who have been asleep and came back to life no matter how long they have been dead and asleep rose all at the same time.

  • Grobmate

    I read the title. Then out of pure interest had a read.

    I thought it would be disproven Deluth model crap and sure enough... you did not disappoint.

    The goal of 3rd and 4th wave Feminism is to persecute Men for being masculine and to persecute women for being feminine. It seeks to dehumanize men and label masculinity but at the same time make women masculine...

    This marxist construct is a cancer on society and a pimple on the prick of progress.

    Human beings have been on the Earth longer than trees. Let that sink in... Men have been men and women have been women. Both bring a key each to the two locks that need to be unlocked to let mankind evolve.

    Women and Men will never ever ever ever be equal. They will always compliment the other. They can have equal opportunity, equal rights but never equality of outcome!

    Femininity is not toxic. Masculinity is not toxic.

    Femininity + Masculinity = Humanity.

    • Shezadi

      Femininity is not toxic. Masculinity is not toxic.

      Femininity + Masculinity = Humanity.

      Beautiful lines.

      It is people who misuse them, just like marriage is not wrong, people are wrong, schools are not wrong, students are wrong.

    • Show All
    • Shezadi

      what do mean by leftists and SJW?

    • Grobmate

      Leftist = Extreme left of politics. SJW = Social Justice Warriors.

      The ones who want us to alter reality because it offends their sensibilities.

  • Evil_Chuck

    So when do we get to see a take on toxic femininity?
    (Answer: never, because men don't pretend to understand women or how they define femininity among themselves.

    • Shezadi

      honour killings and female infanticide only happen to women.

  • Pejtu

    i dunno why but i like this idea of making all women slaves to men like it was in the good old days
    yeye hate me as much as you want but i like it

    • Shezadi

      Baby girls are still aborted without a mother's permission. Many infant girls are killed by their fathers who prefer sons. Many are married off before the age of 18 because they are considered a burden. Many are killed in the name of honour when they are caught having boyfriends. Many are forced into prostitution at the age of 10 by their parents because of debt that might only be 800 pounds according to the British currency.

    • Shezadi

      So, women are still slaves in developing countries, where men don't want daughters and they are considered a burden by their parents, who then marry their daughters off below the age of 18 and they are not allowed to come back even if they are not happy. A woman who has no job or education feels the need to stay with her abusive husband just to have two meals a day especially when her parents treat her like a burden, and not every country helps unemployed people. Some women even commit suicide.

  • FatherJack

    Well written , this is NOT an attack on men of ALL creeds and cultures. Middle Eastern and most South Asian cultures are patriachial in the extreme , female infanticide from the Middle East through to
    China and " hounour " killings are partly why there are nearly 10% more human males than females worldwide , the birth ratio is always male heavy naturally everywhere , this imbalance is bad for both genders

  • sasukeuchiha7

    Well written take.
    I came here expecting a fake feminist rant but I'm really happy with what I've read here.

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide also happens because of patriarchy.

    • I don't really believe in patriarchy but I do agree there is oppression against women and men in different situations

  • UndeadWyvern

    Everyone cries except that men dont cry as much as women do. Yeah ill tell you one thing , a man who cries often and for flimsy reasons have no value between men, niether does a man who can't control emotional outburst. You dont see a lot of men crying as much as women. That is universal and not part of any patriarchal propaganda. No propaganda is strong enough to affect the wide majority of men dispersed across continents and cultures.

  • Nadim171

    So, you're basically criticizing men not asking for directions and not crying which is ok, but completely ignore the things your prophet said and did to women

    • Shezadi

      When was a man killed in the name of honour or shamed for giving birth to a daughter?
      When was a pregnant woman forced to have a abortion just because she was expecting a son?
      When did a man get arrested for not wearing the hijab?

    • Nadim171

      Exactly, it's becasue Islam (the Quran and the hadith) encourages these things

    • Shezadi

      female infanticide happens in India which is not a Islamic country. It is the patriarchal and conservative culture not religion in all cases.

  • brokenheartgirl

    This article shows that women are victim in Pakistan society.
    Honey!
    if a mother doesn't allow a son to marry with a girl of his choice, he can't do anything.
    if a mother wants you to waste years after years because she wants you to be doctor and nothing else, a son can't do anything.
    if a sister wants to go for shopping, its husband/brother/father's responsibility to take her to market, go with her as a guard shop to shop and take her home safely back.

    Woman are basic of any nation. they bring up men.
    they teach men how to treat their sisters, wife...
    how you can blame men for everything?

    • Shezadi

      I see you are a Pakistani like me. I come from a Pakistani village where it is legal for parents and teachers to beat the hell out of children. My dad tried to murder me three times and I was his punching bag all my life because in my Pakistani village, it is a NORM for a father to beat up his daughter if she is "disobedient." I lived in my Pakistani village for a year, and when I was in class three, female teachers used to physically torture me because the principal allowed them to do that, in fact encouraged teachers to beat children up. My classmates were also beaten everyday by teachers. It is still a norm in my Pakistani village for teachers and parents to beat children up because they think they have a god given right to beat anyone who is younger than them. Even when my Pakistani dad tried to murder me three times in London, my mom and my aunty told me I deserved it because I was not "obedient" and "submissive" enough. Very disappointed by my Pakistani community and family.

    • as far as i know in village everyone is physcially abusive, just like village in china, india, and even US. domestic violence isn't just pakistani thing. you said, your mom and aunty told you that you deserve it. It means in your family your mom and aunty has 'opinion'. your dad went from village to london ( i don't want to go into HOW) but he took all female members with him.

      He could leave you all behind and marry a foreigner and get nationality easily which is usual practice in big cities in Pakistan.

      The woman isn't a victim in Pakistan. Your dad's mother taught him to be like this. His sisters, his mom, his aunties never stopped him from beating/hurting others in childhood.

      This is the way he was trained by women in his family.

      You are writing a whole page article, its because of the privileges your father gave you.

  • John_Doesnt

    Some men need a crossbow, other men just want a crossbow. Either way, you should buy your man a crossbow for his birthday because he'll appreciate it.

    • Shezadi

      You want my man to kill me with a crossbow? That is toxic masculinity!

    • Show All
    • Shezadi

      like your mom, sister, wife and daughter, they are also women.

    • Yes, and they're all idiots.

  • JustWorthlessMe

    Expect the right-wingers to attack you... this is exactly the type of clear thinking they hate

    • Shezadi

      who are the right wingers?

  • Smegskull

    I still just don't understand what toxic masculinity has to do with masculinity.
    I just see toxicity as toxicity, I get the feeling the only reason it was attached to masculinity is because some of the most toxic people around are the feminists that coined the term so they built it into the name so people couldn't point the finger straight back at them.

  • MackToday

    Tradition is good and the cultural Marxists are playing with forces of nature they don't understand. Systems like you see in Muslim countries only make it worse. I see things like this with Christians as well though nothing as medieval as honor killings. The dynamic between men and women is pretty clear and what you see in religious tradition reflects that but usually in a crude cartoon way. It works because it aligns with actual human nature and instinct but only just. What the cultural Marxists propose to do by making up words like "toxic masculinity" will be much worse. In a brief time communism has managed to slaughter a hundred million people or more trying to force artificial standards on natural man. Just be aware of who and what you're dealing with when you hear "toxic masculinity" and such terms used. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPojltjv4M0

    • Shezadi

      When was a man killed in the name of honour or shamed for giving birth to a daughter?
      When was a pregnant woman forced to have a abortion just because she was expecting a son?
      When did a man get arrested for not wearing the hijab?

  • SwirlingHatred

    Sigh the sooo much wrong with the world I’m surprised how any black male from the us of a is sane and not a psychopath killer

    • Shezadi

      I will speak against female infanticide, honour killings, domestic abuse, forced marriages, acid attacks, rapes and harassment.

  • hahahmm

    Strange you assume that masculinity is dehumanized as if the ideal human is a woman. I admit I didn’t read all 500 lines of your thesis

  • DontEscapeFan

    I think it really depends on WHAT or WHY men cry. It is okay but it depends on the reason:

    Okay to cry about:

    Parent dying
    Long time pet dying
    In extreme physical agony (Like breaking a limb)
    Failing to protect someone who depended on you

    NOT okay to cry about:

    Not getting your way
    Using this emotion to guilt-trip somebody else
    Your favorite football team losing a match

  • MarketData

    Men only have themselves to blame if they act like douchebags. They're not victims of toxic masculinity, they're part of the problem.

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