I'm a big firm believer in self esteem and everyone needs it. Paradoxically I think some people need hard truth delivered to them straight shot, in a way that can sometimes seem mean or abrasive. I think they need self-esteem to be able to face hard truths, and the hard truths that life will guaranteed deliver, and better to receive them earlier than later. That's one reason Dan Pena values self esteem but also is a very very hard man, hard on others, hard driving on himself. Just listen to him speak for a minute.
Do what you want, do what makes you happy. Men, as well as women, don't just blindly follow others. Do what makes you happy in the long run. Understand the difference though between delayed and instant gratification and where that leads, when considering the path of maximal happiness.
I was motivated to share this take specifically about women after reading this article. As long as the individual is doing things that make them happy, then then I am satisfied. When an individual goes against their nature and self interest out of pressure, it bothers me, and when a mass of them does so in a way that affects society, then it bothers and affects me. I want things to be healthy in the individual and secondarily in society. I am pretty secure in myself so I have a hard time believing certain things as it would require a projection it is hard to muster. I project positively on others basically. I am amazed and shocked and have a hard time believing women think they have to conform to pressure about hooking up, having a high powered career, do certain things at the expense of their own desires or drives or intuition cause someone said something or the media or whatever their source is talks about it. Those women are invariably unhappy in themselves and have a negative self-image as they must if they go against themselves for another. One would have to, as a logical consequence. And because of these things, these girls are invariably more difficult to relate to, frustratingly so, that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I feel like whole swaths of society or female society has changed in this way, with the internet, dating apps, 'third wave feminism' the article cites, according to an "Amanda". Excuse me, who says you have to adopt a doctrine that is not of your own brain? The 'memo' she cites. You know what. She should take that goddamn bleepin memo and burn it to ashes, and then do everything it said if that was what was in her heart, or do everything opposite of what it said, if that was in her heart. These people have no right to criticize bible followers, because they follow their own bible. Pot meet kettle. At least bible followers believe the source is divine, they see the world as a miracle of the author of the bible. These people know their doctrine is of human hands and yet they follow it from pressure or some other reason. I invariably date and relate poorly to low self esteem types. It is frustrating on my end- to try date individuals or watch a culture get degraded. It would be no degradation if they did what was in their own heart and didn't defer to their chosen authority. I like them not the authority they follow. I always like the authentic individual, even when I don't. At least I respect and can relate to that. I guess this is where we all have skin in the game.
So much other craziness exists, like having to be "perfect" at texting to date today or to not lose somebody. Wait what? I 'double text' so I'm dumped? The things I hear make me shake my head but they match my experiences so I believe they are true. I am strong but in the words of Rudyard Kipling, "If", I haven't made allowances for others craziness or others strange modernity. I am weak for the lack of allowances and adaptations made to the maladaptive. I want to make those adaptations as it will reward me; I just don't want to lose my soul, my senses or my natural conscientiousness. Powers gained, no powers lost. But I want to see more free women, not merely those who believe they are free but actually free and confident.
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Seems you're not as free as you like to think you are, and give the opinion of others more rent space in your head than you like to claim.
I have an active mind. I think about physics, studying physics and engineering, music, psychology, doing my job. Dating is fucked up here and I always do better with high self esteem. Low self esteem toxic people are not good mirrors of oneself but it still is annoying. I get what you're saying, right. Be introspective. As if I'm not fucking introspective. As if I think my shit don't stink. I've learned that it's often culture that is toxic. The best women often have the best manners even if they decline your offer, and the mediocre often jerk you around, so why bother with anyone of low self esteem. Online is where I vent by the way. It's a pressure release valve for free and random thoughts.
There’s no such thing as self-esteem. You gain “self-esteem” by helping and doing for others not being selfish
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