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Men shouldn't have to prove how manly they are! (Page 2)
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So true. The whole 'oh yeah, boys are supposed to be aggressive towards girls, it's fine.' is so stupid. And we need more guys to know that it's ok to show emotion. I hate when parents see their son is seriously upset about something, and just tell him to 'man up' or say 'guys aren't supposed to cry'. it's absolutely ridiculous. Also I love long hair on guys too. Very attractive.
Don't forget, in movies or TV shows, men usually fight over a woman. But if I was on those, I'd rather just watch other men fight over an individual and just enjoy being that socially awkward nerd that I am! by the way, I never had a girlfriend and I don't feel ashamed about that! 😁
When we talk about society, we never mention who in society that sets these norms. On this topic , it's women. Women GENERALY SPEAKING are more attracted to " manlier" men. So guys , act a certain way in order to be seen as an attractive mate.
I understand what you're trying to say and agree in principle, but some example you used are way off.
Honestly, I've never been called a simp for being nice to girls, or a beta because I'm short, or girly when I had long hair, etc. I've never had to prove anything, so I actually haven't experienced this first hand. 👌
I agree mostly. I actually have never been called any derogatory name because I don't drink. Maybe because I can't but want to. Before I found out I couldn't, I did and I enjoyed it. Although men can't change their height, they can get washboard abs. It's as easy as a heavy woman losing weight. You have to aim for it, but it's doable.
That may work for you but I like a manly men not some fucker who sits at a computer all day playing his games. Guy who brings out the natural hunter protector vibe hot af.
How do you identify a "manly man"
Men decide what is masculine. Not women.
What Are Masculine Traits?
I hope you believe women decide was is feminine too.
For the sake of not being a hypocrite.
@Don-__-Don You really should read through that take.
But the problem is that most men decide what is masculine based on the opinion of women and society so it's not really men's decision, its just following the easy road expecting people to accept you
@RolandCuthbert, I read it.
If you're taking about yours, that is.
Talking*
The masculine traits that you've made, it tells me that we don't really have much "men" in the world.
Can you tell me how common it was for a male to have all these traits when you were my age back then?
@Don-__-Don Ah, so you didn't read the take. And you didn't understand the point.
Men decide what is masculine. Just because your list doesn't correspond to mine doesn't mean that masculinity does not exist. If you disagree with my definition or my list, that is fantastic. I don't seek to prove my manhood to you. In fact, to me that is not very masculine at all. To seek approval and verification from anonymous folks on the net or people that I meet on the street. I have to be confident that I am a man and that I do embody these traits. I am confident that my friends, my family, my loved ones and the women I have dated/interacted with. . along with my fiancee, see me as being masculine.
That has to be enough otherwise, what is the point? How can a man be masculine by questioning his manhood every time an internet troll approaches him?
What...
Okay hang on, it's obvious you misunderstood me here.
@Lanadelrey25 I tag you in things like this because I want another pair of eyes to see if I said anything wrong, I'm pretty sure I didn't.
Anyways
I have no desire for you to prove your manhood to me.
You seem like a reasonable guy, so let me be clear on a few things.
I read your take and not only did I understand it, I agreed with it.
I don't know why it's your assumption that I disagree with your list, nor do I know why you think I want you to prove your masculinity to me.
Although I get your point on the topic, thats not what I was trying to convey to you in my response.
I actually agreed with your list for the most part, but what I'm trying to say is that there isn't that many people who have all of those traits these days, so I was wondering if it was common for men to typically have those traits back when you were my age.
Because times are different now, therefore people are as well.
You, unlike me actually knew how it was to be a young man before the 2000's. Consdering your age.
@Iwasthinkingif Well, I dunno if that is true. Otherwise men wouldn't get together in groups to do that masculine thing. We play sports, we compete, we bond. . . we do "us". It is just that I think men need to take these gatherings more seriously. It isn't just for hanging out with your "bros" or brothers. It is really critical to maintaining a sense of one's self.
@Don-__-Don Oh, I am sorry. I didn't understand your post.
Well. . . you know it is funny. We don't have very many of these types of conversations here.
Thanks for your response. And Happy Holidays. I am going to be checking out over the next couple of weeks.
I respect you whole heartedly it’s not often you see someone stand up for the other guy. You’re a godsend.
@MecheD Awn thank you :) I'm just trying to say something positive on here, there's so many different type of people out there and nobody is the same that being said if there's a guy like a guy I wrote about then he should know that there are women who respect that
Much appreciated ❤️
If a guy felt the need to "prove" it then they probably aren't the manliest type of man.
I agree, there's no real need to prove it anymore
Entirely - but you'll see so many women claiming they want proof, that whoever reads that will start to conform.
For as long as women expect men to be bullies to be consider male - there will be plenty of bullies around.
I think those are the women who want manly men and I think my next MyTake would be on that topic, a bully in my personal view doesn't make a great partner, we aren't animals lol
Absolutely - it just comes down to women deciding that is how it is going to be (i. e. turn men into bullies and sacrifice them... maybe they are secretly lesbian, all this love-other-women-but-hate-men now mainstream stuff)
THIS, A MILLION TIMES THIS
Have you asked man opinion about this to? Not about talking about mans issues but about how author decided to deal with them.
@__inkRat Well, I am going a study on men's behaviour I was more writing what I've learned so far but besides that it was more from an outsider view, it wasn't mean just for men but for women too, that we should allow the men in our lives to actually feel things and do things they wouldn't normally try like I don't know jewellery or poetry, or even drinking wine watching rom coms, all I'm saying is as a collective we shouldn't pressure men into proving how tough they are cuz that's usually just through aggression or "dominates", which is subjective
Yes! Toxic masculinity just puts limits on men and makes them dull and bitter for no real reason. Plus fashionable men with unique style are so rare that they ALWAYS stand out.
sis said it! you said it exactly as it is
Awn why thank you Queen 💛
This is bullshit. A man is a man. What a long, wasted diatribe of pseudo-intellectualism.
Homie you're kindof being a snowflake right now, kinda cringe
@ThiccOrc lol, it's fine, I'm kinda used to comments like these by now :)
Some people always defend men and blame women... misogyny never ceases.
I didn't defend either I just said what I said. I said that guys can express their masculinity how they see fit and women should be given that same luxury. If ladies feel good in a power suit then a man can feel good with some nail polish on. The point is being comfortable in your own skin
Yes, I understand your sentiment but I find it frustrating how women always make excuses for men. We must not hurt their feelings, we must lie to them about their small dicks, we must protect their feelings at every turn and make excuses for their slutty behavior etc
It never works the other way around.
@inquisitive3 well I think that's why a lot of guys hate feminism off the bat becuase the reality is we are just saying, hey women can do this too and some guys don't handle that, personally, I don't like hurting people's feelings about gender aside but I think if we talk about toxic masculinity we can also then talk about toxic feminity
Exactly what is toxic about women wanting equal rights and treatment?
Many men hate feminism because they can't go around and rape women and get away with it. I DO NOT care if men hate feminism. Women are treated like slaves in most of the world and we are no where close to having the same cultural equality to men. Again, I am not worried about men liking me, if they hate feminism, they can go commit suicide because feminism will be around for as long as it needs to be.
Well, one tocxic feminity is the idea that women must always be about there looks and the women who shame other women for their looks, or who they choose to date. Like if you see a woman whose dating a guy who smaller than her and you make a rude remake as a woman that's toxic. Also, feminism isn't said hey men go kick rocks, it talks about real social and political issues, some men don't rape and yes, it's not good enough and it is something to talk about, but saying they can go commit suicide is really wrong and not at all that feminism is about.
Suicide is a serious issue in society as mind your words around that topic pleas e
No, I won't mind my words. If a guys HATES women that much, over 50%, he should kill himself because there is no other option than to hear his vile hatred and complaints all day. My comment has nothing to do feminism... I think you're a misogynist who defends men all the time.
Also, of course not all men rape but most peep on women, harass them, date rape, molest, grope, pressure women into sex etc... I'd say over half have done something like that and they want to get away with it. Don't be naive.
over 50% of the population *
I am one a woman I can't be woman-hating it's against my own interest and two, I don't defend men on if you think about what I wrote it talked about how men do promote the idea of one kind of man as manly, that's toxic masculinity. Dont get me wrong I'm well aware of some men's sexual misconduct more than I'd liked to be, however again the article was more about self like if a guy wants to be more feminine or non-aggressive with women he's not wrong, which is something a lot of men got upset about the cause they thought there approach to women is normal... when it's not, but if you wanna see the rest of mytakes you'll see I don't usually defend anyone. I normally write stuff on men's behaviour cause that's what I study in school
Women can definitely be misogynists. How do I know? I was one until I woke up to what was really going on in the world. If a guy wants to be more feminine or non-aggressive with women that's great. The less aggression, the better. No one should be shamed for something that doesn't harm other people. That said, I do hope you come around and think about what I mentioned. My comments are not specifically about you but women defending men in general... I see it all the time. Also, misogyny is common and PERFECTLY accepted here but misandry? Not a chance, everyone, including 'women' here would turn against that person.
I just wrote that if guys wanna be feminine that fine it's really not defending anyone or at least the kind of men you're talking about
What you write about is exactly what the MGTOW bitch about all the time.
I'm sorry who and really calling other women bitches
I'm saying the MGTOW bitch. Do you not know what that means?
@Malik00 Shut the f up you loser. You don't even know what color I am... also plenty of people want to date me.
It's not JUST that men have to be 6' tall. They also have to be rich and to be as attractive as a male model. Don't forget those additional very important requirements!
I think you made great points in your mytake - thank you!
It is not s societal norm it is just normal for a man to be a man. It is sad that you have a problem with that.
Well here's the thing saying it's "not a social norm, it's just normal", is a social norm I mean we all do it all the time with social influence, I don't really have a problem with men, it's just could can't really define who a man is and who isn't cause there's no real gender definition for a man. The man you're probably thinking about is the traditional man and I can't really have much to say about that kind of man
See the thing about it is the stereotypes of men and women are not even stereotypes they are just what a man and woman are. Guys are not meant to be feminine.
We don't but it's funny when women think they know what a REAL man is and it's usually some fuckboy who disappears the minute they reveal they're pregnant.
well I never said I know, all I said is that man shouldn't have to prove how manly they are to be seen as men, they're all equal. Besides, most women I think are slowly seeing fuckbois aren't great
@nerdybutlazy I wasn't saying you did, sorry if it came across that way. Just talking from experience.
And here I was thinking that being a Man was about having integrity, surpassing ones faults, and transcending ones own limits. Sounds like your dealing with boys, not Men.
Again I never really brought morals into this I was more talking in terms of gender norms and what could be socially acceptable for them and actually, I haven't dealt with "boys" in a while I'm dating a man
@nerdybutlazy So looking at your profile, your 19 and from Canada. Dudes in your dating age are going to be morons pushing high-school stuff till there about 25 to 27. So your going to argue against someone who has lived the experience?
You're 31 years old. You dont have as much experience as you think, so lmao, most of the guys in my dating pool are in college or university. I'm actually graduating from university next year :) honours, of course, boyfriend's currently getting a master's in political science, but again maybe that's more of a thing you were used to when you were younger... maybe you're idea of a 19 year is dumb becuase you were the dumb 19 years old once mkayy projecting much
@nerdybutlazy There's more to life than University. Considering you have considerable more luxury and privileges, you and your boyfriends didn't have to pay out of pocket like I had when I was 19 and My Family lost everything from the 2008 crash. I did not have the privilege to sit comfy and study Political Activism fun classes, I had to get a trade to keep the lights on. It's little fucks like you that are always shitting on the poor and working class. I didn't have the privilege you have at 19.
@nerdybutlazy You have more at 19 than I would ever have at 19. I was scraping by and my family ditched me and went to live it in the Philippines with what ever money they had left, And they living good. I had to start from nothing at 19.
@nerdybutlazy You have no idea how fucking lucky you are.
@Ryfyle Sorry about your family but I earned my way in with scholarships and I work to pay for school so bold of you to presume that my family pays for anything, my mother died when I was in my first year at 17 :)) and my father works outside the country... I do spend my holidays with distant relatives and my partner :) not as privileged as you think not everyone who goes to uni is swimming in dough besides, my life has nothing to with the topic, you just immediately thought oh this teenage girl knows nothing 😒 I can't even
Also how fucking luck I am, dear God. My family is working-class 🤔 where do people get the idea if you study politics you must🤔 come from money, it's not even my major, it's Forensic psychology. All I did was study and work, and all I did in this article is say that, "If a man needs to cry, let him". If you are a man if you have a problem with that that politics not me :)
But of course, you think that becuase I'm a woman I must be dealing with idiotic little boys and I'm too young to understand anything.. you don't know anything about me and the fact that you immediately decided it was my person that was the problem instead of the philosophy may then
@nerdybutlazy Here's the Deal, a man doesn't really have a whole lot of time to cry or even bother with emotion cause the world at large does not give a fuck. If you do try to get help, your handed pills and you get back to the old grind, and then you might be found on a few Watch lists.
"But of course, you think that becuase I'm a woman I must be dealing with idiotic little boys and I'm too young to understand anything.."
Precisely this, your not seen as a potential threat of becoming an unhinged murder machine or a useless corpse that decided to check out permanently. Disposable workers don't have feelings, and if they do, they should hide them away lest they be replaced. Their is no time for emotion, there is only time for production, No tears only work. The worlds an awful place that does not show signs that it wants to change.
@nerdybutlazy Concerning your list.
""oh, you're a beta male becuase you aren't 6'9 and have washboard abs".
"Oh, paint your nails. You're gay".
"Oh, you're depressed, man up."
"Oh, you don't think she's a slut, SIMP!!".
"Oh, you like your hair longer. Just say you wanna be a girl". "
Most of that I end up seeing online, Not much in real life. That last one has to be an issue of Local Culture. There's a lot of long haired Welders Blue Collar types, no man I know has been given shit for having long hair.
You also might want to think about the nature of your peer group.
well if you don't want a man, don't date men xD but don't ruin everyone elses fun.
i mean if you have stupid definitions for "manlyness", then yeah... they should probably not try to live up to those retarded standards xD self identification is not enough to be a good partner for anyone. neither if you're a man, nor if you're a woman.
A guy I described who doesn't do any of the traditional manly things is still a man... that's the main point, that all kinds of guys are vails... so I don't think you understood my article has well as you think you did, but meh to each there own
Well people for some reason try hard to redefine gender roles. I don't understand why, cause we're still the same human animal. So the majority likes the traditional roles anyway. I think we have an unhealthy focus on rare exceptions but sure. To each their own. But I see all that special snowflakes not finding partners... I wonder why...
mmm you should read the questions on here before you say that
I don't see people on here as representative for society.
And most of them are single and unhappy.