Men shouldn't have to prove how manly they are!

nerdybutlazy
We stan long-haired men now before, yall come for my throat let me explain something Ive learned about men over the years.
We stan long-haired men now before, y'all come for my throat let me explain something I've learned about men over the years.

Society actively promotes to young boys that violence is the only way to get a girl: Have you ever heard adults saying to young girls. "Oh, he pulled your hair. It means he likes you". It does *cough* sex joke *cough*, But this is a problem because this body becomes a man. As I made it, he learns to believe I have to be aggressive about how I talk to women, so she'll notice me. Thus he does, and when it doesn't work, he acts angry when he's actually upset, but becuase that's one of the few emotions he's told he is allowed to show, he calls the woman a whore or a bitch and leaves her alone...if she's luckily or in the event it goes well, she positively reinforces that, and now in his mind, the idea that "oh women like it when I'm aggressive to them" grows.

Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well, the reality is after society has taught us what it thinks we should do, we as people bully each other into conforming with societal norms. Now here is a crazy idea, what if we stopped that? I personally think if you tell me you identify as a man, okay, you're a man. You don't have to go out into the great outdoors and cut down a tree to prove that, no shame to lumberjacks, of course. But bare with me a second, imagine a moment in your life where people say you agreed on something and you didn't want to agree, and it was something small like you actually like pineapple on pizzas. The reality of this plays out the day with the whole,

"oh, you're a beta male becuase you aren't 6'9 and have washboard abs".

"Oh, paint your nails. You're gay".

"Oh, you're depressed, man up."

"Oh, you don't think she's a slut, SIMP!!".

"Oh, you like your hair longer. Just say you wanna be a girl".

These statements are real statements and affect real people, and most people statistically speaking aren't 6 feet tall or have washboard abs. It's not gay if a guy wants to experiment a little with his look; it's just self-expression. Men do have mental health issues; more men are statistically going to die from depression, and I've seen the little crazy guys online repost it again and again that men do suffer, Okay? Then shouldn't we talk about it? If a guy doesn't drink, it doesn't mean he's a pussy; if a guy has long hair, that's fine (tbh I think it's beautiful). Also, if a man doesn't want to join in on dragging women, it's not a big deal.. he just minds his own business.


Personally, let's give men the room to talk about their body issues, sexual and much more.

Sidenote: women, can we stop expecting all guys to be 6'0 tall? The average height for men in both Canada and America is 5'9, and for women, it's 5'6; that being said... he'd still be tall than you on average. This is life, not an NBA draft like chill.

Men shouldn't have to prove how manly they are!
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Iwasthinkingif
    YES.
    Thank you for that.
    Men who experiment with their styles and are conscious that they hold both feminine and masculine energy and are confident in their masculinity without trying to prove it are *chef kiss*
    Is this still revelant?
    • We love a man comfortable in his body and his gender fluidity

    • His gender what?

    • JoJoiLL

      @nerdybutlazy and @Iwasthinkingif you're both rare and amazing and you've made my week :)

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • COMMODOREII
    Amen sister!!!
    Is this still revelant?
    • lol, tbh I couldn't imagine just being a normal guy than seeing other men online screaming about how macho they are, I'd be embarrassed

    • Nah. A real man isn't embarrassed just amused. After all you have those who have to express themselves loudly to try to seem strong and those are the ones who are the weakest.

    • You are probably my favourite guy on this site

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What Girls & Guys Said

1349
  • ThisDudeHere
    It's literally in the man's own best interests to prove themselves manly.
    • To each their own opinion

    • true dude.
      we have ladies here telling us they know more about what being a man means

      imagine if a guy makes a video or writes an article about what being a woman must mean in today's era. The shitstorm it will cause

    • How exactly do you define "proof of being manly" though and why would I benefit? For all I know, "manliness" according to you is fucking a unicorn until rainbows shoot out. Maybe to you that's manly and beneficial... somehow... but I think the majority would disagree.

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  • Anpu23
    It is interesting to me how many women feel entitled to speak on the male experience. A lot of what you are speaking about is simply incorrect or misunderstood. Male hierarchy is much different than most women seem to think. A good example of this is the "Self Made Man" experiment (https://g.co/kgs/k7Pr4c ) male interrelationships is much more subtle, complex and less violent then most women seem to think. Further when violence does happen it's often more bonding then damaging. A lot of the pressure to conform to standards does not come from other men, at least after adolescence, but rather from female expectations. Especially perceived requirements for dating. Further this concept you have of anger being the only acceptable emmotion is simply incorrect, men, especially young men are allowed any emotion but anger, if you go back and look at the movie "The Mask You Live In." (https://g.co/kgs/PfWat8 ) there's a scene where a group of young men are asked to put on a piece of paper the emotions that they can not express and universally they stated "anger." This is because male anger has such a negative perception from women. Your writing is perpetrating this fear of a natural emotion from young men. Further the lack of male only bonding and healthy male role models is creating a whole group of emotionally crippled young men, because they are being forced to emote in a way that is unnatural to them (If you need references I'll add them, but in essence guys show emotion girls talk emotion. This is from brain wiring not social expectation just google FMRi differnces in emotions between sexes).
    • Never said I was telling men what to do it was just and I've said this to tons of men on here, you don't have to be the tough guy all the time, it's okay for men do try doing other things that aren't "traditional" but a lot of you wanna die on that cross and it's not my problem

    • Anpu23

      No, what I am saying is your perpetuating a myth that is based on a misunderstanding of how men interact with each other. What this conversation does is set our young men up for failure. Society is not kind to men. Adult males are disposable, I've written about this elsewhere, and to add in an expectation of kindness and understanding is just cruel. If we don't prepare children for the world that they will grow into it's a failing on our part.

  • Kittyboy
    Thanks so much <3

    It's the very beginning of this realization among men, still needing our own safe places and "concerned voices" to talk about it and deconstruct everything, but it's in the way, thanks for seeing this truth as a woman and keep doing the emotional labor in the mean time we do the job lol
    • @Kittyboy, awn thanks fam I kinda wish people realized we're all different we can be different if we want to be, there's nothing wrong with being manly and there's nothing wrong with not being manly. Masculine and feminity are things I just think people can figure out for themselves πŸ’›

  • DevilsAdvocator
    OK, let me try and show you how this comes across from a male standpoint, by presenting my own counter-take in exactly the same way:
    We stan bald women now before, y'all come for my throat let me explain something I've learned about men over the years.
    We stan bald women now before, y'all come for my throat let me explain something I've learned about men over the years.
    Society actively promotes to young girls that compassion is the only way to get a guy: Have you ever heard adults saying to young guys. "Oh, she gave you a Valentine's day card. It means she likes you". It does *cough* sex joke *cough*, But this is a problem because this body becomes a woman. As I made it, she learns to believe I have to be nice about how I talk to men, so he'll notice me. Thus she does, and when it doesn't work, she acts angry when she's actually upset, but becuase that's one of the few emotions she's told she is allowed to show, she calls the man an abuser or a bastard and leaves him alone... if she's luckily or in the event it goes well, she positively reinforces that, and now in her mind, the idea that "oh men like it when I'm nice to them" grows.

    Now, what does this have to do with anything? Well, the reality is after society has taught us what it thinks we should do, we as people bully each other into conforming with societal norms. Now here is a crazy idea, what if we stopped that? I personally think if you tell me you identify as a woman, okay, you're a woman. You don't have to go off into every kindergarten you can find and change toddlers' diapers to prove that, no shame to teachers, of course. But bare with me a second, imagine a moment in your life where people say you agreed on something and you didn't want to agree, and it was something small like you actually like pineapple on pizzas. The reality of this plays out the day with the whole,

    "oh, you're ugly because you aren't under 5' tall and don't have G+ size tits".

    "Oh, you don't paint your nails. You're a lesbo".

    "Oh, you can't NOT be depressed, gender inequality still exists, woman up!"

    "Oh, you don't think he's a player, BITCH!!".

    "Oh, you like your hair shorter. Just say you wanna be a guy".

    These statements are real statements and affect real people, and most people statistically speaking aren't under 5 feet tall or have breasts bigger than G-cups. It's not lesbian if a girl wants to experiment a little with her look; it's just self-expression. Women do have mental health issues; more women are statistically going to die from stress-exacerbated issues like obesity, diabetes and heart diseases, and I've seen the little crazy girls online repost it again and again that women do suffer, Okay? Then shouldn't we talk about it? If a woman does boxing, it doesn't mean she's butch; if a girl has no cleavage whatsoever, with a chest looks like she's still in elementary school, that's fine (tbh I think it's beautiful). Also, if a woman doesn't want to join in on dragging men, it's not a big deal.. she just minds her own business.

    Personally, let's give women the room to talk about their body issues, sexual and much more.

    Sidenote: men, can we stop expecting all women to be slim? The average BMI for women in both Canada and America is 29.6 now, overweight, and for men, it's 26.6; that being said... she'd still weigh less than you on average. This is life, not a beauty pageant like chill.

    ... So, you buying it? Thought not.
    • what was the point of this if you wanna make a mytake there's a place to do it not in the comments

    • My point is that your MyTake comes across as being just as false, patronizing and overladen with empty platitudes, for us men, as my gender-reversed version of it comes across to you women. If you're a loser in life and a self-proclaimed 'nice guy'/'good girl', who blames the other gender for having standards and not being sexually attracted to them, refusing to take any responsibility for their inability to attract members of the opposite sex and to even consider self-improvement- then, whether you're male or female, you'll lap both up due to confirmation bias. If you're not, though, then you'll know full well that both are, for more than 99% of the population (though not all, since lady-boy and fugly fetishes still exist), steaming piles of garbage...

    • you've got problems that's all i'll say

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  • Unit1
    "Men shouldn't have to prove how manly they are!"

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! There are "men", who feel they must prove, that they're a man? What insecure babies! Were they castrated at birth or what?

    "you're a man. You don't have to go out into the great outdoors and cut down a tree to prove that"

    I was thinking I can just whip out my tool and slap them in their faces left and right with it if they ever question it 😂😂😂 That'll show them. But the real deal I explain just in a moment down below:

    "These statements are real statements and affect real people"

    I do not spend any of my time nor my neurons on what sub-average-intelligent imbeciles have to say. Perhaps that's why I have only a handful of friends.

    "It's not gay if a guy wants to experiment a little with his look; it's just self-expression."

    And I blame this problem why men have so little available in their wardrobe and the clothing stores dedicating no more than 20% of their space for men's clothing and unisex clothing. And why men's fashion is almost dead. A modern problem but a solution is not being sought after in large scales. Online designer clothing stores are our last resort here.

    "more men are statistically going to die from depression"

    I must be immortal then. Kidding! Depression is the incurable and psychological rape.

    What can I say except...

    I'm a man. Deal with it.

    • It's really sad that you think that but pick your poison

    • Unit1

      Say what?

    • Oops sorry, i went through this without my glasses on. I thought you were on of the guys screaming, AHHH women can't talk about men's issues, which kinda bugs me becuase it's my thesis lol and two, it's really important guys don't really get to express themselves as easily and it's a real problem

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  • cjgsu
    This is exactly my thoughts.

    Society are so easily manipulated to fall in line or be shamed into it submission
    • There's a whole theory for it in psychology, called "social compliance". it's amazing what people will agree to

    • cjgsu

      I would love to read it because i see it all the time.
      I mean think about how crazy it is that a man is expected to stand up to pee or he is not a man.

    • Tbfh wouldn't it just be easier to sit?

  • grega239
    Yes. Manhood does need to be proven.
    Take ellen paige for example. A woman who woke up one day and decided to be a man. Sorry but no, absolutely not.

    Or maybe someone like james charles. I don't consider that type of person as a man even if he is male.

    Yes little boys are somewhat aggressive towards little girls that they like because they aren't good at expressing it.
    Thats why we teach little boys to not be aggressive when interacting with girls/women. And we teach it to them by telling them that real men don't treat women like that.

    And yes, mental health for men is dogshit and it has very little to do with men lack of expression, but rather the current societal climate we live in.

    Take "toxic masculinity" as an example.
    It has to be one of the most pointless terms to have ever existed, since masculinity is meant to prevent excessive behavior such as aggression and throwing a fit when things don't go your way.

    This coupled with feminists blaming men for history ( false history might I add), fewer women in high positions, the (imaginary) wage gap, not to mention the legal system that so blatantly favors women.

    No wonder men's suicide is as high as it is.

    And most men don't talk about their feelings and mental health issues because it would be ignored at best or used against them at worst, so why tell anyone?
    • Not you blaming feminists for male suicide omlll

    • grega239

      I'm not blaming feminists for male suicide, I am blaming them for creating the conditions that created this suicide crisis.

    • ThiccOrc

      Your atitude right here is why men have such a high suicide rate. You say they have to prove themself to be a man, you say Gay and trans men aren't "real" men, anyone who doesn't confirm 100% to your worldview is a fake man. What makes you the masculinity police? You're the perfect example of toxic masculinity, you want people to pretend to agree with you and pretend to be tough cause if they don't you'll bully them and say they aren't real men. You say real men don't act like that and should hold themselves accountable and then throw fits online blaming others for men's issues. I'm a man, born one, have the parts and everything, if I want to have long hair and a beard and wear nail polish and dresses, it's none of your fucking business. If people are born gay or trans, you have no right to invalidate them. If you think I'm not a real man for that then that's fine. Your opinion of me is worthless.

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  • knottywriter
    I think the stereotypes of what's supposed to be "normal" are forever supporting this attitude of what boys/men should be. It also does the same for our girls/women. There are unrealistic expectations and the ones that continually promote how manly they are seem to have more issues they are trying to cover up with this alleged manliness. I think it takes a stronger guy to be comfortable with vulnerabilities and being okay with who they are and not what society tells them they are. If you go get a manicure, you get called guy but why can't a guy want to look nice and polished for a lady? Or hell, I went and got one with my daughter once just as a daddy/daughter date. Did I get polish? No, but I did get my hands and nails looking nice and smooth. Lol But what about be sensitive? We teach our boys that sensitivity is something they shouldn't show... and then we ask why are boys so violent these days? Men should not have to face judgment anymore than a woman should have to for being boyish or how they look or whatever. Society doesn't get to decide who we are. We do as individuals. I love this myTake and hope everyone can take some knowledge from it and apply it to their own lives.
  • rxm_bxl
    Yes I agree. Also this "manliness" that is to be proven is nothing more than a social construct. Men and woman are both social constructs.
  • Ozanne
    "Now here is a crazy idea, what if we stopped that?"

    Yep, already on it! :) I've never been one to shun a man's feelings, and to try and be a good listener to my friends whenever they need to get something off their chest. One can learn a lot that way. Over time, it's made me see how much alike a lot of people are when they just want to be heard and accepted.

    So if I'm doing my part, and if I can lead by example, hopefully others might notice how to just stop putting expectations on people and let them be.
    • I like that I think we should give people the chance to be more open in conversation about there feelings regardless of gender

  • prince350
    Entirely - but you'll see so many women claiming they want proof, that whoever reads that will start to conform.
    For as long as women expect men to be bullies to be consider male - there will be plenty of bullies around.
    • I think those are the women who want manly men and I think my next MyTake would be on that topic, a bully in my personal view doesn't make a great partner, we aren't animals lol

    • prince350

      Absolutely - it just comes down to women deciding that is how it is going to be (i. e. turn men into bullies and sacrifice them... maybe they are secretly lesbian, all this love-other-women-but-hate-men now mainstream stuff)

  • MecheD
    I respect you whole heartedly it’s not often you see someone stand up for the other guy. You’re a godsend.
    • @MecheD Awn thank you :) I'm just trying to say something positive on here, there's so many different type of people out there and nobody is the same that being said if there's a guy like a guy I wrote about then he should know that there are women who respect that

    • MecheD

      Much appreciated ❀️

  • The_unknown_memer
    This true and something I have been telling for so long.

    Let's not forget that society asks men to always have a woman in his life. Like if you don't have a woman , then your not a man.

    This leads to some men committing suicide simply for breaking up or getting rejected

    It leads to men being angry after being rejected

    And it's the reason why gay men are more abused than lesbians ( not saying lesbians don't experience abuse or violence towards them but comparatively, it's better to be a lesbian than a gay man)

    And now it's time for us men to start supporting women and try help them solve their issues.
    • Couldn't say it better myself I post somewhere on here just stuff kinda like this and the men who tried to support these ideas of oh you gotta be a big tough man to get a woman, who women don't want kind men. It's so sad to see I found a man who is kind, sweet and caring, I actively try my best to make him happy not becuase he's a man but becuase he deserves it... nice guys deserve love and so do guy that don't force their masculinity

  • BustyNeedles
    This is bullshit. A man is a man. What a long, wasted diatribe of pseudo-intellectualism.
    • ThiccOrc

      Homie you're kindof being a snowflake right now, kinda cringe

    • @ThiccOrc lol, it's fine, I'm kinda used to comments like these by now :)

  • Not_Average
    Our gender norms all derive from our biological roots. Society is responsive to our biology, and it’s a complex subject, but it really just comes down to that.

    We as a society are becoming more and more privileged and take basic amenities for granted. Men’s testosterone is on a sharp decline since most of us work jobs in which we sit on our ass all day. Diets are declining. Men in general are becoming more weak.

    This entire progressive movement of discounting biology in an attempt to feminize men is extremely toxic. There’s strong links to depression, suicide, and divorce tied with this progressive movement.

    I think men would be happier in general if they stopped acting in effeminate ways. It’s unnatural. They would attract more women, progress faster in society, and carry higher amounts of testosterone. They would have lower rates of depression, and have better interactions with people in the world.
  • TessCasie
    I think the moment a girl plays hard to get, the guy begins to show his manliness when he REFUSES to continue to pursue her after getting disinterest or mixed signals. Which clearly means he is a man of high self esteem, knows his worth and plays his part as a guy meant to be termed as" High quality men". And of course, thereafter if a girl gets hold of his attention he will continue to shower his love, affection and compassion to her. All the qualities a woman would love to have in a man and thereafter be a parent.
    • See here's my problem with that personally I've learned men just wanna know straight up if your interested that's why I always just say, "hey what's up", by another social norm to break is men need to do all the catching dating is a game but it's no fun with just one player

    • TessCasie

      That norm of men need to do everything must seriously breakπŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

    • Denial1984

      Yeah, newsflash, that "norm" is never gonna change, because it's based on the fact that women don't NEED to approach men. As a man, if I don't approach women, maybe one woman will outright hit on me every few years. In other words, I will be forever alone.

      Whereas, as a woman, if you don't approach men, men will hit on you all the time regardless.

      This is for biological reasons, and it is not exclusive to humans. Women are pickier than men, because it makes evolutionary sense for them to be pickier. It makes evolutionary sense for men to be promiscuous.

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  • Toast792
    So true. The whole 'oh yeah, boys are supposed to be aggressive towards girls, it's fine.' is so stupid. And we need more guys to know that it's ok to show emotion. I hate when parents see their son is seriously upset about something, and just tell him to 'man up' or say 'guys aren't supposed to cry'. it's absolutely ridiculous. Also I love long hair on guys too. Very attractive.
  • Inquisitive3
    Some people always defend men and blame women... misogyny never ceases.
    • I didn't defend either I just said what I said. I said that guys can express their masculinity how they see fit and women should be given that same luxury. If ladies feel good in a power suit then a man can feel good with some nail polish on. The point is being comfortable in your own skin

    • Yes, I understand your sentiment but I find it frustrating how women always make excuses for men. We must not hurt their feelings, we must lie to them about their small dicks, we must protect their feelings at every turn and make excuses for their slutty behavior etc

      It never works the other way around.

    • @inquisitive3 well I think that's why a lot of guys hate feminism off the bat becuase the reality is we are just saying, hey women can do this too and some guys don't handle that, personally, I don't like hurting people's feelings about gender aside but I think if we talk about toxic masculinity we can also then talk about toxic feminity

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  • __inkRat
    Well tnx for you opinion, but no you are wrong. Look what happened with for example grid girls in F1, feminists took away there jobs, because woman is supposed to have choice but at the same time feminist didn't like it and made campaing to destroy gird girls jobs, no one asked grid girls what they think of it.
    Also you dont have an idea what masculinity is. Masculinity is NOT proving you are manly, masculinity is NOT about looks or who you date or with whom you sleep. You can't even define masculinity as it is different from culture to culture from group of friends to next group of friends. Masculinity is at best guidelines of what could be expected from man. Talking about issues or painting nails is masculine just because it does fall in line with idea of being your own man. If you feel ok in your own body or how you look, it means you are not afraid of it, you have courage to be what you want to be.

    I do not expect you to understand this, but man are not woman, we dont tend to think like woman. Things that work for woman, does not work for man. Like if there is issue we want to fix it, not talk about it and hope it goes away. If telling that woman does not need to be something works for you, great, but I dont know any man who thinks like that. For men I know its can I fix it (even if there is low chance of success), its fix it or ignore it, or if there is nothing you can do about it, its ignore it.

    Yes man should not prove his manliness, as his manliness might not be what other guys manliness is. In a group its a bit different, because people tend to group by common interests and way of thinking, so then they start to compare a bit. But then again man usually are into competition and are ok with it. From what I have seen, its if someone is failing, they tend to laught about it for a bit and then help to reach common level. Again Its not something I have seen in woman. Good deamit man can have bloody fight and in next minute be best friends.
    • I'll talk about men's issues for two reasons becuase it's fair and becuase it's something women should do, so if you're hurt, your hurt. I just gave some situation I've seen. If you dint like it, then i don't know what to tell you cus I'm not deleting my post, feminism needs to talk about men's issues, even though I never brought it up here, but it's weird how anytime a woman does talk about men doing something else people instantly think feminist like it's some dirty cult?

    • __inkRat

      @nerdybutlazy
      Lets assume I have problems with my masculinity and lets assume that I have taken your advice to heart. What now? What I'm supposed to do next? I'm still man, I still need to do something about it. I can't just cry about it, tell myself I dont need to do something in order to fix problem and pretend problem will fix itself somehow or go away. Saying that one should not prove his masculinity to others does not fix issue of his masculinity in first place, it just buries it. So what now? I buried this problem of my masculinity as you suggested. What now? How long I will be able to bury it before I can't deal with it anymore? What then? Should I try to bury it again in hopes that at one time, I dont pull trigger? Or should I try and do something about it? Support for man and woman does not work in the same way, why its so hard to understand it?

      Its the same as I would say, if you have problems with you feminity, learn to cook, be house wife, leader when needed, submissive when needed, dance, grace, how to flirt and so on. I doubt it will work on woman, in fact you will eat me alive without salt, it just makes you more angry, how that man dares to tell how we should act. But then you are perfectly ok with telling man how they should be, how they should deal with there problems, how they should think.

      And yes for man feminism isn't great, because for most parts it assumes that things that work on woman even barely, will work on man perfectly fine. Feminism is trying rewrite what man is.

  • RolandCuthbert
    Men decide what is masculine. Not women.

    What Are Masculine Traits?
    • Don-__-Don

      I hope you believe women decide was is feminine too.

      For the sake of not being a hypocrite.

    • @Don-__-Don You really should read through that take.

    • But the problem is that most men decide what is masculine based on the opinion of women and society so it's not really men's decision, its just following the easy road expecting people to accept you

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  • Shiver
    Honestly, I've never been called a simp for being nice to girls, or a beta because I'm short, or girly when I had long hair, etc. I've never had to prove anything, so I actually haven't experienced this first hand. 👌
  • Solstice777
    It is not s societal norm it is just normal for a man to be a man. It is sad that you have a problem with that.
    • Well here's the thing saying it's "not a social norm, it's just normal", is a social norm I mean we all do it all the time with social influence, I don't really have a problem with men, it's just could can't really define who a man is and who isn't cause there's no real gender definition for a man. The man you're probably thinking about is the traditional man and I can't really have much to say about that kind of man

    • See the thing about it is the stereotypes of men and women are not even stereotypes they are just what a man and woman are. Guys are not meant to be feminine.

  • Pulseofsulfur
    I actually agree with your statement. I say who I am at face value and it's bothersome that I always see that certain women are too picky like broaden your horizons
    • I think it should be addressed, I know some women like more "traditional" men and that's fine I guess, but there's a lot more out there

    • Yeah that's ture

    • *true

  • Silver158
    We don't but it's funny when women think they know what a REAL man is and it's usually some fuckboy who disappears the minute they reveal they're pregnant.
    • well I never said I know, all I said is that man shouldn't have to prove how manly they are to be seen as men, they're all equal. Besides, most women I think are slowly seeing fuckbois aren't great

    • Silver158

      @nerdybutlazy I wasn't saying you did, sorry if it came across that way. Just talking from experience.

  • bamesjond0069
    This is man hating and this is leading to depression in males. It makes men happy to be masculine and aggressive and strong. Men who become beta simps or just overpowered by women are the ones who get depressed the most.

    Women like acceptance and being nice but that shit is irrelevant to men. Dont you understand that men and women are different and what seems good to you is horribly bad to us? Just as what seems good to us seems horribly bad to you? you're just another woman who thinks she knows better about what men want... than men. Another naggy know it all.
    • How is what she is doing men hating?

    • @ThisIsMyOpinion she is hating on basically the default nature of man. It would be like if i went on and on about how girls who like to do any sort of feminine dress or makeup are bad, only wear pants, crying is bad, stop it. Men dont cry so women need to stop. Etc etc. That would be fucked up.

    • She is not saying is bad. She is saying that not be a super manly man is more than fine. Doesn't make you less of a men.
      Be super super manly or not you are still a man. That's what she is saying. Not that being manly is wrong.

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  • genericname85
    well if you don't want a man, don't date men xD but don't ruin everyone elses fun.
    • i mean if you have stupid definitions for "manlyness", then yeah... they should probably not try to live up to those retarded standards xD self identification is not enough to be a good partner for anyone. neither if you're a man, nor if you're a woman.

    • A guy I described who doesn't do any of the traditional manly things is still a man... that's the main point, that all kinds of guys are vails... so I don't think you understood my article has well as you think you did, but meh to each there own

    • Well people for some reason try hard to redefine gender roles. I don't understand why, cause we're still the same human animal. So the majority likes the traditional roles anyway. I think we have an unhealthy focus on rare exceptions but sure. To each their own. But I see all that special snowflakes not finding partners... I wonder why...

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  • iFarted
    If a guy felt the need to "prove" it then they probably aren't the manliest type of man.
    • I agree, there's no real need to prove it anymore

  • Minxxie
    Yes! Toxic masculinity just puts limits on men and makes them dull and bitter for no real reason. Plus fashionable men with unique style are so rare that they ALWAYS stand out.
  • iseekpinetrees
    That may work for you but I like a manly men not some fucker who sits at a computer all day playing his games. Guy who brings out the natural hunter protector vibe hot af.
  • Twalli
    I agree mostly. I actually have never been called any derogatory name because I don't drink. Maybe because I can't but want to. Before I found out I couldn't, I did and I enjoyed it. Although men can't change their height, they can get washboard abs. It's as easy as a heavy woman losing weight. You have to aim for it, but it's doable.
  • SnackAttack7
    When we talk about society, we never mention who in society that sets these norms. On this topic , it's women. Women GENERALY SPEAKING are more attracted to " manlier" men. So guys , act a certain way in order to be seen as an attractive mate.

    I understand what you're trying to say and agree in principle, but some example you used are way off.
  • JohnGarcia
    Don't forget, in movies or TV shows, men usually fight over a woman. But if I was on those, I'd rather just watch other men fight over an individual and just enjoy being that socially awkward nerd that I am! by the way, I never had a girlfriend and I don't feel ashamed about that! 😁
  • laceyylove23
    sis said it! you said it exactly as it is
  • Gabboo
    THIS, A MILLION TIMES THIS
    • __inkRat

      Have you asked man opinion about this to? Not about talking about mans issues but about how author decided to deal with them.

    • @__inkRat Well, I am going a study on men's behaviour I was more writing what I've learned so far but besides that it was more from an outsider view, it wasn't mean just for men but for women too, that we should allow the men in our lives to actually feel things and do things they wouldn't normally try like I don't know jewellery or poetry, or even drinking wine watching rom coms, all I'm saying is as a collective we shouldn't pressure men into proving how tough they are cuz that's usually just through aggression or "dominates", which is subjective

  • msc545
    It's not JUST that men have to be 6' tall. They also have to be rich and to be as attractive as a male model. Don't forget those additional very important requirements!

    I think you made great points in your mytake - thank you!
  • locutus9999
    To be honest I am just the way I am, you like it good, you don't good. I am above that stupidity of i am alpha... i am beta, i am gamma, like wtf!!! live and let live.
  • Liam_Hayden
    "Society actively promotes to young boys that violence is the only way to get a girl"

    Which society? I do not see that at all.
  • Denial1984
    This is all nice, but I can't count the number of times I have been rejected by women for not being manly enough.

    Women overwhelmingly go for men who are:

    -tall
    -successful
    -strong
    -handsome
    -well-endowed
    -tattooed
    -wealthy
    -sociopathic
    -high-status
    -confident
    -popular

    and overwhelmingly reject men who are

    -short
    -weak
    -unemployed
    -soft
    -emotional
    -poor
    -low-status
    -unconfident

    So I'm fucking tired of feminists telling men it's okay to be vulnerable etc. because in real life, you women don't accept that when it comes to dating. You just don't. It turns you off, and that is life, but at least be fucking honest about it instead of giving us this bullshit feminist feel-good nonsense.
    • TessCasie

      Unemployed shouldn't be on your list cause if your unemployed, we women think you ain't stable.

    • Kittyboy

      Be a sub-male in the male hierarchy > experience rejection from mainstream society that follows social norms > see feminists who take our side, and doing so also tell mainstream girls to stop expecting the impossible and toxic standards of masculinity > shit on them, gets grumpy, keep trying to date in the "normal" world where we're doomed to be rejected.

      Can't you see how ridicule that is? SPECIFICALLY feminists, queers and leftists in general will love soft unemployed smol guys, and you're rejecting your self-hatred and unconfidence on them when they come empathize with us and challenge the ideals that women are socialized to desire. You're a good person, broken like every one of us in this dystopian world, you need to work on your unconfidence, seek help probably, not a shame, advance on your path to self-happiness. Even the cuddly mommy domme of your dreams wouldn't solve your issues, and she'd not cope with your reactionary bullshit in the first place. Give your own cheek a good slap when you're ready and give yourself the means to become happy, at your pace but no more self-denial, let your inner queer out instead of blaming your allies, leave the "big world", and you'll find another radical broken weirdo with her own shit on her side of the patriarchy to love you.

    • Denial1984

      @Kittyboy Thank you, but these people are not my allies, and they are not exempt from the exact same evolved drives every human runs on - and that we share with many other species as well.

      Feminism is for gender what alchemy was for chemistry: a primitive, speculative attempt at understanding a subject, mixed in with various more material aspirations.

      Also, TBH, most feminists would make terrible partners for men, because most of them don't just have a particularly poor grasp of men's reality, but also issues and hangups with men in general.

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  • DWornock
    "Society actively promotes to young boys that violence is the only way to get a girl..."

    Did you just get time transported from the early 1900s? Otherwise, how could you believe such an obviously false statement? Public schools and mainstream media is promoting the idea that masculinity and every last drop of testosterone must be eradicated.

    In the world you were transported from, every schoolboy had a pocketknife. Now, should a 2nd-grade boy bring a pocketknife to school he will be arrested and placed in handcuffs and perhaps even tasered as a dangerous criminal. Even, making a finger gun and saying bang bang or drawing a picture of a gun is punished. And, when a 6-year-old boy kissed a girl on the cheek he was almost expelled. Boys are expected to be quiet, sit still, and act like little girls, or else they drugged into submission.
  • Ryfyle
    And here I was thinking that being a Man was about having integrity, surpassing ones faults, and transcending ones own limits. Sounds like your dealing with boys, not Men.
    • Again I never really brought morals into this I was more talking in terms of gender norms and what could be socially acceptable for them and actually, I haven't dealt with "boys" in a while I'm dating a man

    • Ryfyle

      @nerdybutlazy So looking at your profile, your 19 and from Canada. Dudes in your dating age are going to be morons pushing high-school stuff till there about 25 to 27. So your going to argue against someone who has lived the experience?

    • You're 31 years old. You dont have as much experience as you think, so lmao, most of the guys in my dating pool are in college or university. I'm actually graduating from university next year :) honours, of course, boyfriend's currently getting a master's in political science, but again maybe that's more of a thing you were used to when you were younger... maybe you're idea of a 19 year is dumb becuase you were the dumb 19 years old once mkayy projecting much

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  • SavageGirl101
    You are my spirit animal
    • Girl, you're my spirit animal. I love watching you drag people it makes me laugh

    • LMAOOO I drag them so hard that they don’t dare come back😌

    • IT's the men in the comments upset I'm talking about men's issues for me... they complain women don't care about their issues but when I write about them some get so butthurt child I can't

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  • Pete671
    The hardest men I have ever met have always appeared rather modest and polite,,,
  • ChefPapiChulo
    Tldr. Thanks for giving men the okay, we will now stop trying to be so manly. Because you told us we don’t have to be.
  • Bhavin2184
    Good take..
  • Jessie91331
    If they have to prove it or try to prove it, then they are not manly, just acting.
  • Aiko_E_Lara
    I think my only concern with men these days are the testosterone level now with a lot of micro plastic, soy, the oil we use, pollutions and a lot more. Nothing else. Yes lower testosterone makes men less manly but testosterone is not only to prove his "masculinity" but it's over all men's drive to keep him healthy, strong healthy and confident. This is why I don't recommend glorifying men who lacks testosterones. That's basically like the fat acceptance movement except in this case, it's for men. Painting nails, having long hair, wearing dress or whatever have nothing to do with it.
  • UncleJessieRabbit
    "Violence is the only way to get a girl..."
    What, really?
  • JoJoiLL
    Thank you x x x
    • Anytime :) real feminism talks about men's issues too 😊

  • Whatever919
    I don't understand why manly man linked to violence... I hate this
  • Stephen_77
    Feminsim is cancer
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