What's Wrong with the Black Community? (Page 2)

[itsallover]

Very good take, one of the best.

The hate that dark skinned black girls recieve from almost all races is heartbreaking to me. I knew a girl who was literally afraid of groups of black men because of the horrible comments that she had recieved from them in school because of her darker skin tone.

Black people have been conditioned to hate ourselves, and it is so sad. The Eurocentric ideals of the Western world have plagued our minds and have kept our identities and perceived self-worth down. I wouldn't say that Nigerians are completely exempt from this though. Even though they are very proud they have the highest rates of skin bleaching in the world.

[SakuraChii]

I agree with the insecurity and dating outside your race points but I firmly believe that there's nothing wrong with wanting different hair styles. It's one thing if someone is like " oh I hate my natural hair because of society and I want to have the most straight hair ever even if it's bad for my scalp" that's negative but it's another thing if you do it because you like the style/look. I'm tired of people with natural hair telling people with relaxed hair that their insecure, that's like telling someone that they can't dye their hair blue because the most desired people have blue hair therefor their automatically insecure.

[Watermelonoma]

"oh I hate my natural hair because of society and I want to have the most straight hair ever even if it's bad for my scalp"

Well this is exactly what im actually talking about. The thing about discussing issues like this, as i mentioned in take, no one is going to come out an confess this as the reason openly. I mean, can you imagine someone coming out and saying "well i want straight white women hair because im insecure about how my own ethnic hair looks to the people i interact with". No one would. Most people say its just a preference, and they can't be challenged on it because we dont have a looking glass into peoples minds. But you can tell its a problem based on what people feel more comfortable admitting online under the cover of anonymity

[Pink2000]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BfBrzC5IYAEBqbb.jpg

We as black people can't stick together for nothing. We constantly best each other down. We can't win for losing.

[Watermelonoma]

good point!

[Ozanne]

As a white, I had no idea that this was going on within blacks. Then again, some of this goes on with whites for various reasons when they behave a certain way, noting the race difference when they choose to date, so it makes sense it goes on everywhere else. But I'm confused by your AYI app grid. In the lower half where it says Lowest Response Rate, most arrows point to the blacks, however the black women arrow points to the white. Doesn't that mean that black women aren't responding to white men? I thought your article supports that black women are looking for white men for being race obsessive rather than looking for a partner despite their race?

[peachblossomluck]

This take was really well written. One thing which seemed to be missing is that mixed people tend to like other mixed people. As far as dark skin being unattractive, I find it baffling because I admire pretty women with dark skin, even though I'd be described as a white person. Maybe women see beauty in a different way? My son had this friend at school who was all about his dark skin. He'd go around saying: "Call me Double Dark." We never knew his real name because he made everyone call him Double Dark lol.

[LovesTVDx]

Gosh this was such an interesting read. You are so right, things need to change. All of it is just like a vicious cycle. Thanks for sharing this Take. Hopefully it will make people realise that it's so wrong to feel inferior because of your skin colour.

[Watermelonoma]

glad you liked it =) The racial stuff is getting much too out of hand for me not to say anything about it

[apexalpha]

Probably the best take I read so far in g@g!!!
I think black people have developed an inferiority complex best seen in their own bias in dating other blacks.
The next move should be to move and stop this run away train. How one way black people will gain respect in the eyes of others is to stop acting what's been brainwashed as stereotypical black ghetto behaviour... I know that there are a thousands of black families shunning away from this behaviour.. But there are countless others feeling a compulsion to act in that way...
The second plan of action is harder which entails breaking down the world wide perception of beauty as white and the vogue look to be.

[MysteriousFlower]

All ethnics of women have a tendency for low-self esteem and body issues, but I imagine for a black woman it can solely be about colour. Many women and young girls are accepting of their body though.
I find issues with black people or aboriginal Australians is the stereotype of them being automatically aggressive and to be in the 'hood' over education. There is crime between all races. There are many cultural differences, unfortunately racism and not enough laws in certain states/countries and poor family backgrounds can lead to all kinds of bad stuff. From the past to now is it fair to say black people have more rights from then but still have a long way to go with equality?

[Queen_naki5]

I enjoyed reading this. I figure myself and maybe a handful of other people on GAG felt this way lol, so it's nice to see that you decided to venture out of the usual boring 'ole typical Takes written here on GAG and wrote about a REAL issue that plagues many black communities. There's so much more that I wanna say

[Watermelonoma]

much appreciated Queen_naki5 =)

[PhiOmega]

I really don't like to do the "race community" this, that, it feels isolated

I look at if for the most just as hey we're all humans

I mean, i feel like those terms urge people to be a good black/white/Latino etc. When we should just be good people

I don't doubt anything you stated, but honestly it's not something i really see in the people in my environment, black or otherwise

And lastly, for real, i talk to a lot of guys and those charts just don't really correlate to anything I've seen, where I'm from our latinas are shown much more love than that

Anywho, my preference is girls that share similar features to me
On the tall side
skin tone close to mines
athletic /muscular / developed bodies
Black hair (i love it long, and full)

I mean there's a bunch of latin girls that happen to look like that around me, but they're not the only ones, there's black women and Asians who fit the description too

[rjroy3]

Great take, but the only thing I feel was left out (because I experience it) is being mixed and other blacks feeling superior to you because you're not "black enough". I by no means feel superior by being part white, I see myself as a black man first as everyone who comes in contact with me does. But the moment they know I'm educated I magically become "not black" in their mind.

[aamy811]

That's not a nice hing that's more of a personality thing. I'm obviously not mixed and really
Dark but I get that same comment

[rjroy3]

@aamy811

I would agree it is also a personality thing, but there are times where I don't even speak and I get that from people

[watchmen]

You really bring in a great deal of information.
What I would like to stop hearing everyday is "N***r". It's really annoying to hear when blacks say it to each other and then turn around and say racist when someone outside their race says it. If I can't say it, either should someone else.
Another thing that I can't stand is when a black uses the excuse that he is black and that the world owes him something. I have heard that by some, not all, but it's still annoying to hear.

[Dandeus]

Why are you so upset that you can't call black people niggers without getting shit on? Why are your panties in such a bunch? Do you expect anyone to believe that a white person is going to use the word without hateful intent? Black people are the object of the word, it's their prerogative to define when its use is offensive or not.

[ImmaCatchYou]

I agree with @watchmen. I've thought about that also. I'm black and I have done that before but I've stopped a while ago because I realized that it's strange to use that word of we don't like being referred to as niggers. Then we use it on ourselves and it's confusing to me.

[pooper89]

What's wrong with the black community is that they have a chip on their shoulders and blame the wrongs that were committed against them in past for everything, therefore negating any ability to look upon themselves critically.

[vishna]

This man obviously doesn't have a chip on his shoulder, and he's thinking inwardly about himself.

So, here's a counterexample to your broad summary of the black community.

[Anonymous]

Okay with the dating thing. It's a preference. It also has to do with who you are around. I'm black but I'm attracted to white guys. It's not an obsession for me it's just my preference. I grew up around more white people so that where I feel comfortable.

[Queen_naki5]

There is nothing where he said that it was a bad thing to have a preference. He himself stated that he's seen attraction in every race. There is nothing wrong with you liking white guys, there's something wrong when it becomes an obsession and you're willing to choose a lousy white guy over a decent black guy for the mere reason of him being white and vice versa.

[Watermelonoma]

@Queen_naki5

thanks =)

[EpicFrog12]

This was a very interesting take. Well-written, too! I enjoyed it. I appreciated your honesty and your straightforwardness, and the way you handled a delicate issue.
You know, it really saddens me that any group of people still faces such prejudice even though dedicated people of all classes/races/genders have been trying to fight that same prejudice for several centuries... It shows a shocking superficiality grained into our society. We'll just have to keep trying!

[Watermelonoma]

glad you liked it =) this is something that has been a problem for years, and i have yet to see things start turning around for the better

[springocelot]

This is very interesting. A lot of the problems you mentioned with black women are problems I see with women in certain Asian countries.

As to the excessive self-love of black guys, my initial guess is that perhaps it's because many come from single-parent homes so the mom transfers all the love on the son and he gets spoiled, for lack of a better term.

[Watermelonoma]

yeah I've noticed some of this too amongst Asian communities. I'm praying that this trend will reverse at some point but i just dont see it happening

[ObscuredBeyond]

My first big crush was mulatto. It biased me for life to black women. Though, I like Asians too. Just wish black women would stop seeing me as trying to lord over them simply for being interested in them. And that Asian women would stop treating me like a pig. I know a lot of my peers act like pigs around them, but it's a little unfair to lump me in the same category. Especially after I just get done defending them.

[Watermelonoma]

well just keep trying. Lots of black girls these days want a white guy (im assuming you're white?) so you shouldn't have much trouble

[missamanda123]

A mulatto is not black

[ObscuredBeyond]

@missamanda123: Treatment I get is the same either way. Just mulattos are even moodier about it.

[JackKerouac77]

When will we all just become part of the human community?

www.rockfordbahai.org/.../...er-of-an-illusion.png

[lightsout13]

Okay that has nothing to do with the mytake itself? Its a sepearte issue that if you wanted to discuss yourself then created your own mytake? Lots of women have these problems yes but this mytake was just that. it was her take on whats wrong with the BLACK community. She didn't digress/focus into other racial communities she spoke specifically on its insecurites and undermining each other to unite the community together. I'm not saying these issues dont matter but this website has a lot of people who turn questions or mytakes into something theyre not. The point of humans being different is to create a sense of diversity. we unfortunately took that as "You're different? You don't matter!" while diversity should in fact be celebrated. not shamed or diminished.

[lightsout13]

sorry he** him* his* all that jazz

[JackKerouac77]

@lightsout13
How does asking a philosophical question for the betterment of the humanity not relate to the MyTake?

Race is an illusion used to divide everyone?

[lightsout13]

Because he's talking about how the black community needs to stop dragging each other down and instead uplift each other and you're talking about "when will we all become apart of the human community" and how "race is an illusion". Yes it is used to divide everyone to make people look different and these divisions are bad and good the good parts are that they make us unique and different in the best way the bad parts are that others use take this in the wrong context and make it as if being different is whats wrong they want everyone to conform into one human race which would be fine if it didn't allow for differen pergaps even worse barriers to be created.

[JackKerouac77]

@lightsout13
I'm glad you agree! :)

[dev765]

Yea its sad seeing so many questions everywhere asking if non black men/women find black women/men attractive. The standard of beauty is try to be as close as possible to white as you can. When I saw the video of men's beauty standards around the world on you tube out of the 13 men listed 11 of those men were white/caucasoid (Middle eastern) or half white. I think that's why you normally see black people asking the most for attention.

[Watermelonoma]

One thing that i didn't really cover in this is the influence of p*rn , which i think has a huge influence on what guys (and increasingly girls) see as the beauty standard. p*rn is flooded with attractive white actresses, and the attractive black ones are few and far between. Given how much p*rn has affected the way men these days view sex, its not unwieldily to imagine that it has also affected what races they view as beautiful

[dev765]

Yea true I bet p*rn is the number one viewed thing on the internet.

[kheserthorpe]

There's a shortage of attractive petite black women doing interracial p*rn .

I hear.

[Watermelonoma]

@kheserthorpe

"i hear"

ofc ofc. ^_^

[Creole_Flavor]

This is a really awesome take, it brought tears to my eyes.

[Watermelonoma]

aw, well im glad it resonated with you =)