Why do we have to accept fat women when women won't accept men with low confidence?

Question

This really is a simple question today. Everyday I see women say that they are humans with flaws and I agree. 

Now how come women don't accept that men can't always be the super sexy confident alpha male? At every dating advice site I see women say that confidence is attractive. Other men will say confidence is key. Isn't this like saying being thin with big boobs is the only way to get men?

Keep in mind I'm NOT saying men should have ZERO confidence. I'm saying men are humans and nobody has perfect confidence yet society expects men to have perfect unbreakable confidence.

BuchitaBuchys · Accepted Answer

Confidence is an attractive quality for everyone to have. Male or female. in my opinion obesity is not attractive for females nor males.
And who says you have to accept fat women? What do you mean by accept anyways? Date? You don't have to date them. You get to choose who you want to date, and so do women.

But you generalize too much. Not every woman wants a super sexy confident alpha male. "Alpha male" ugh, I detest that term.
Confidence is attractive. Would you want a woman who is constantly putting herself down, is constantly comparing herself to other females (like guys constantly compare themselves to "alphas"), who during sex, she doesn't even wanna take off her shirt cuz she's insecure about her body and stretchmarks or whatever? If you say you're willing to work with that, that's fine. BUT you shouldn't be the source, or crutch, of their confidence. It eventually gets old. Also, just because you're willing to lower or change your standards like that, doesn't mean everyone else should do the same. Just like some men are willing to date larger women (sometimes to "widen their net"), doesn't mean you should too.

My point is everyone has their own standards. If you want a thin chick with big boobs, fine. If a girl wants a guy with confidence, fine. If they're both consenting adults, it's none of our business anyways.

theycallmelivi · Accepted Answer

I don't really understand your question. How do accepting fat women and dating a man with low self confidence the same thing? Confidence being sexy in gender neutral. A woman who is not a size 0 doesn't always have low self confidence. But the big rage about accepting girls who aren't size 0 tells girls to love yourself even if they say you aren't beautiful, and one day someone will love you for who you are. Super confident men aren't expected of women or attractive because that means arrogance and cockiness.

kangy · Accepted Answer

I dont think anyone should settle for just anyone. If a guy feel that the size (overweight) woman is unattractive to him he can choose not to go for her. Same for woman if she feel that he has low confidence or keep putting himself down she can choose not to go for him. It is tiring to have a negative vibe in one's life especially if the person refused to help him or herself

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It is because fat people are more likely to stand up for themselves and bitch about it, than people with low confidence. We shouldn't have to accept any trait that we don't want to accept. The only thing is that if someone has unreasonable standards, I don't want them whining that they can't get the kind of girl or guy they want. That shit is just annoying. Either lower your standards to a reasonable level, or stop complaining that the only people you are attracted to doesn't want to date you.

The women claiming there is a difference between accepting fat women, and accepting men with low confidence are lying to themselves. In both cases being fat, and not having confidence can be linked to a physical, or a psychological problem. Both traits are undesirable. This is simply how they justify having double standards.

Just because men and women are not typically attracted to the same traits to the same degree, does not mean that the desires of one gender, are more shallow than the desires of the other gender. Neither gender should be shamed into dating someone they don't want to date. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to traits that others might call shallow.

dartmaul15 · Accepted Answer

We don't, we don't have to accept them. I've tod people fac to face that they are overweight and that it does make them undateable in my eyes because it shows they are unable to take proper care of their own body and health. Got quite an explosive reaction though, but judging by how the ones nearby didn't react at all, i believe a lot of them silently agreed.

It's prefference. We don't like fat girls, and if you think they can dictate what you are to like then you're simply weak minded. the only one dictating your prefference is you. This is also why it's perfectly fine for girls to like men with confidence.

Greece1990 · Answer

Fat bitches dont get what they want believe me. People never explain what confidence is, but Ill tell you what does work for everyone. Dating is a numbers game, fail a lot to succeed. Ask a lot of girls out and dont care if they say no because 95% of them will unless your above average. Thats the only thing that works, and eventually one girl will like you enough to date you. Looking clean and nice helps a lot but if a girl likes you, you can literally talk about pretty much anything. Hi how are you won't work on girls that dont like you, but will on the ones you do. So confidence really is just the act of trying and failing and trying until you succeed. You dont have to act like a super confident obnoxious macho man to get girls, you just have to try a lot

Theguyoverthere · Answer

We don't have to accept fat women. I myself have found that it may annoy them but the fat women I see complaining about being single do the same things I see guys doing... Claiming "looks don't matter" then chasing hot gym guys then claiming the guys are shallow for also wanting an attractive girl and the cycle repeats.

if you don't like fat girls, you have no obligation to date them. The confidence thing actually comes from a variety of attributes you may actually have and not realize. Simply talking to a girl you don't know is confident as most guys are too scared to even do that. The girls chasing those self proclaimed "alpha males" who are actually cocky are not worth dating anyway. They end up in abusive relationships and nobody wants to fate them afterwards when through notice she is attracted to those types of guys. Don't waste your time with them.

HikerDude · Answer

Because feminism has become a "women can do no wrong" love fest of all things female. A woman is fat, she's curvy; a man is fat, he's a lazy loser. Women are the choosers in sex up until they're about late 30s. I've resigned myself to being a beggar until then.

KLTheErudite7229 · Answer

I just think that the most attractiveness of anyone (male or female) is them being themselves.
A fat man/woman with right dignity, knowledge, and confidence can still have the charisma/charm/attractiveness as the sexy/attractive looking one is bascially what I am trying to say here.

been_waiting · Answer

It isn't the same thing; fat men are also supposed to be accepted.

You're that one guy who thinks girls are just prizes to be won who also thinks its ok for men to go on a murderous rampage after getting rejected so idc how you feel.

Anonymous · Answer

What do you mean "accept"?
No one says you have to date fat women by the way. There's a difference between 'accept' and 'have sex with'. I've been told that if you lack confidence, you'll get "Friendzoned" but if you're friends with someone than they clearly accept you. Women accept guys without high self confidence they just might not want to date them. I suspect you see women not sleeping with you as a lack of acceptance and that's all you're really complaining about.

MaskedSanity · Answer

Oh, it's you...

The_Empty · Answer

Because women are hypocritical. Come on, guy, you're older than me, you should know this by now! It's because women are hypocrites and are ultimately the ones that get to do the choosing.

dobby9315 · Answer

I don't think you should have to. The woman has to be comfortable with themselves and a lot of time its the insecure women who say things like that. Sure nobody's perfect but unless they're happy with themselves they're just going to bring people their with down. A woman who is secure with themselves will be able to accept men's flaws because people aren't objects, they're people. They're supposed to be flawed and a lot of times its the flaws that make the person that much more real.

miserybusiness · Answer

What? WHAT? Are you basing this off generalizations and stereotypes? This is a ridiculous question. I have never denounced men with low self-esteem and I'm sure many others haven't either.

yupyup89 · Answer

Confidence goes for both sexes. If a girl lacks confidence men will call her needy and desperate, it's a two way street. Confidence is important.

misscocobutter · Answer

Men don't have to and usually don't accept fat women. Unless they have a fat woman fetish

RedLia · Answer

Low confidence is a psychological issue not a physical one.

Outofthegrey · Answer

Because we now live in a world were we'd rather hurt our bodies than our feelings.

Destinybae · Answer

People have types and want diffeent things. Well expect different things form each other.

Katy16 · Answer

You don't, no one HAS to accept anyone if they don't want to

codyluvsspicy · Answer

Because of the media and others fat women think there hot when there NOT.!

DumpliingPrincess · Answer

Nobody has to do anything.

Why do we have to accept fat women when women won't accept men with low confidence?

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