I am living in a small town that there are only a few Asians around here. I went to a small bar to play pull with my husband and his brother. While we were playing i could hear some men and women talk about Asians are whores and she is probably a whore and stuff. And i got no balls to say anything back to them and just listening and feeling like i am worthless human. I hear that everywhere, at the Deftones concert that i went a week ago. I just want to live my life happily but i feel like i can't be happy. Everywhere i go, people look at me and stop their smile. I feel like i don't belong here. I am a Asian and i never worked as a hooker and i had sex with one person and i am proud of it. But i can't explain that everywhere i go. I married my husband after high school and i was a good student too. My husband is American and i am korean. I married him when he was 21 and he was handsome, smart, fit person unlike what everyone thinks of Asian girls marrying American guys that are old and can't get any American girls. I was never treated like until i came here and realized what steretypes are for Asian women here. I have 2 children and i am happy most times but when i hear this kind of stuff, i just wanna throw everything away and just leave. Worst thing is, even my husband says that to me when he is arguing with me. I never even worked as a hooker and i was going to top 15% college in korea and i had a lot of ambitions but i married him and moved here. When he is arguing with me, he says without him i would have been a hooker. I would have been better off not marrying him and live in Korea. I feel like i am wasting my 20's life here and living as forever stranger and everyone look at me as a hooker. That's it. I am really sad but i can't leave. Because i have 2 kids and i can't live without them and they need their strong parents together.
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