Will my kid be bullied for having curly, 4C hair?

Question

So as a kid I grew up with being told that white people have good hair and black peoples have bad hair. Both of my parents always straightened their hair with perms or cut their hair extremely short and wore wigs or hats over my mom says it's more socially acceptable and you fit in better with people. When she found out I didn't want to straighten my futures daughters hair she told me that my kid will look ugly, have no friends and be bullied in school. She says the reason I should straighten her hair is so she'll be beautiful and more socially acceptable to others. She was a bit upset and shocked when she found out that I wasn't straightening my future daughters hair for kindergarten or picture day at school. She says I'm setting my kid up to be bullied and have no friends because of her hair. Is this true?

menina · Accepted Answer

I know exactly what you're talking about. I've heard this non-sense so many times!
Don't listen to your mother! I'm sorry to tell you this, but she has that twisted mentality that some black people still have. They still believe that white people are superior and better. They look down on themselves and they hate being black.
You have the right to do whatever you want to your future daughter's hair. Just like you have the right to tell her that she doesn't need to straight her hair to look good. That her hair is beautiful too.
Yes, she might have some kids who will make fun of her because of her hair. But those kids, are the same who have racist parents, children who will turn out to be disgusting adults. Not the type of kids she should hang out with. Her friends won't care about her hair texture. They will like her, for her. Not for her hair.
That being said, when you have your daughter tell her that she has no reason to be ashamed of her hair. That there's nothing wrong with it. That that's how nature made her and it's okay.
If someone mistreats her because of her hair, then that's their problem, not hers.

Ri_xx · Accepted Answer

I think it is becoming more 'acceptable'. I am biracial and I was the only coloured person in my primary school. At first, many of my classmates treated me differently. Now I am 17 years old and still in secondary school (the school system in my country is weird) and again I'm one of few people who is coloured in my school. But the difference now is that many people compliment me on my hair and are really interested in my hair type. So what I'm trying to say with this little example is that when your child gets older, the children around her become more used to it and might even become interested. Also, I think that you should not change what you want to do because some ignorant person does not have the same view. If you want to keep it curly you should keep it curly because it looks beautiful.

fauchelevent · Accepted Answer

Potentially, yes. What your kid wants is the most important though, I think. Like, you should do your best to show your child that it's okay to be proud of their hair because holy shit, it's gorgeous and they shouldn't feel like they have to change it to fit in but ultimately, if tht's what your kid comes to you and wants, you should listen to that too, I guess.

CarolynnRose · Accepted Answer

I hope not, my cousin is half white but looks completely black and she has super curly hair which was always like that until she made the decision to straighten it herself and she has always had lots of friends

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No matter what someone does, kids will find some way to pick on them or make fun of them. That is just the way kids are. Whether it is their hair, shoes, voice, athletic ability, parents' job or car, or whatever they can think of. There will always be an excuse for kids to tease someone.
The important thing is to be there for your kids emotionally when they need the support and feel like nobody likes them. It happens to lots of kids at some point. You being there for them makes them not feel alone in those times. Race has nothing to do with it.

Matt57 · Accepted Answer

Not sure. Don't know how it is in your part of the country, But the schools I went to here in California, kids weren't really bullied for having Afros.

Or maybe it was because the schools I went to were a bit more "diverse" so people didn't really care as much about other people's hair.

Keshie · Answer

Just make sure you ALWAYS remind your kid that she is beautiful with or without her hair... Like you said growing up your mom thought you different...
Just install that logic in her that she is beautiful with her natural.. And as she grows she grows to love her hair regardless of what society says.

JSmith925 · Answer

I sure hope not. Her hair is beautiful. I think it is a real travesty of our culture that Afro Americans mostly see images of Euro American style in media. Hence, the impulse to straighten and style hair like female broadcast announcers.
I am much more attracted to the way dark skinned people's hair grows naturally.
~JSmith

xMiaxBuerx · Answer

I have soft curly hair, and I've been called noodles, mophead and all of that but it was only between friends who liked my hair... I have never really had people bully me over my hair.

Anonymous · Answer

no she won't. my one friend actually has that exact style/type of hair and she's really beautiful. plus, white people don't have better hair than black people. it's literally just thin strings of cells dangling from your head

Anonymous · Answer

Your mother really takes the opinions of racists too deep. Your daughter won't be bullied because of that. In fact I always liked the kids with curly hair. My best friend in the kindergarten was a dark skinned boy. He and his sister have grown to be really beautiful people. He was bullied in school, but she wasn't. I doubt she'll be bullied.

mystic14 · Answer

She is beautiful, and her hair makes her more unique. The best thing to do is to teach her to set standards and not let anyone make of her what they want

Anonymous · Answer

Kids can sometimes be cruel or say things that may hurt another kids feelings by pointing things out that are different about them.
I probably wouldn't straighten her hair either because that can damage it but you could braid her hair.

TheChocolateWriter · Answer

She's right, but I'm not going to do straighten my children's hair either.

carmeCC · Answer

Is likely as it is not too. In my classroom there is a boy who has hair that way and we totally accept it. His friends sometimes make jokes about him but it's nothing like bullying

JLRF12997 · Answer

Curly hair rules hahah !!

boochie0 · Answer

I'm so sick of people comparing black to white people and how we have bad hair !! No we do not

Blitzberg · Answer

Crazy people are everywhere curly hair seriously? Fuck those guys who even think so... where are you from

GetMeBleach · Answer

No, I think curly hair is beautiful. And kids will find any excuse to be mean to someone.

GayHowellMeme · Answer

Depends on the kids and the place. But I don't think she will be bullied. Try with long dreadlocks 😍

GirlThatDraws · Answer

Just put her hair in buns or braids so she won't get bullied.

Kaylyne · Answer

To start with that's not your kid.

blackwolf3x · Answer

subject to bullies no matter the difference

emerald77 · Answer

I sure hope not.

Will my kid be bullied for having curly, 4C hair?

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