Girls talking about marriage?

[Anonymous]

OK my girlfriend of about 2 months started talking hypothetically about marriage the other day, who her bridesmaids would be, what kind of area she wants to end up living in, etc.

She then turns it to me and asks who my best man would be and who would be on my end of things. Well I tell her, but I don't have enough guys on my side, so she goes "Well if you add in my brother, that would even out, so you'd be covered there"

My question to you ladies is, if a girl starts contemplating the possibility of them and their boyfriend getting married, does that mean she's seeing things as more serious, and ending up long-term, or is that a thing girls just do anyway?

[serenityatmidnight]

well, there are two ways to look at it. either she sees you guys being together long enough to get married and she's just thinking eventually years down the road or she's completely nuts and wants to get married soon.

girls like to think about what their wedding will be like, from the dress to the cake to the wedding party. its just what we do. I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not even really into the whole marriage thing, but there are times where I can't help but fantasize what it would be like to have a wedding.

once, when I was dating this guy we were at the grocery store and they had the most beautiful wedding cake and I mentioned something to the effect that it was the kind of cake I wanted if I ever got married and he seemed to think I meant to him and of course I didn't, but he then ended saying that I was getting to serious.

you should sit down and talk to her about it. find out why she brought it up.

[Asker]

Yeah, like I said earlier, she was engaged to her last boyfriend, but the lowlife dumped her, married another woman, and moved out of state after he found out she was having his kid.

Oh yeah, I didn't mention she has a 5 month old little girl.... so yeah.

She also told me earlier on she doesn't think she'll ever get married, and it makes her sad.

I say we've been together a couple of months, but I mean we've been officially together for that long. We started dating in April.

[sheweet]

I get the vibe you like her. She might just be testing your response. I think if you're really in love with her, or ONCE you get really in love with her, you should participate in conversations that really make her happy, marriage or not. As for now, deflect it sweetly as you can, if you feel uncomfortable. She'll like you for it.

[sheweet]

Dude.

If the girl talks about marriage often, ask her : is that what you're looking for? Marriage? And see what her response is. If she eventually wants to get married again, then that is what she wants and you either accept it and see the possibility of marrying her, or move on. Give it a chance. Marriage is so a joke these days but why not make it different for you? You could be so happy.

[Asker]

I get where your coming from. I guess us guys are just wired different, lol. Because if I had started a convo about marriage and talked like she did about it, you can bet your ass there wouldn't be any alternate meaning to it.

Now that she has let down her walls and warmed up to me, she HAS been throwing me a lot of curve balls lately and testing me. I guess this was another test. *shrugs* I DID participate in the convo, but only the parts she asked me specifically about, nothing more.

[sheweet]

You're doing a great job. I am happy about that. If you want a marriage, then you talk about a marriage, that's good. She wants to talk about romance, and she dreams of a marriage whether or not she believes its possible for her or if it will happen. Guaranteed, she probably doesn't think you're gonna ask her to marry her. It's her way of guaging how safe she is around you. So far, she's safe, but not deliriously happy. Make her deliriously happy, if you love her. She will do the same for you.

[Asker]

Umm.... I'm NOT going to ask her to marry me, lol. I don't plan on getting married anytime soon. I'm not ready financially or mentally to be married. I'm going along with the conversation because I really like her. I'm not saying that 2 or 3 years down the road I wouldn't want to ask her to marry me, because I could see that as long as things go good. I'm fine with her having a kid, doesn't bother me... and if I end up being the kids dad years down the road then fine. But I'm not ready now, no way.

[MochaCupcake]

Well, all girls, in one way or another, fantasize about their dream wedding, marriage, house, etc. However, if she's talking about it to you, that means she sees you in her future. Two months isn't that short of a time.

My parents met--for the first time--on a blind date. Within three months, my dad had asked her to marry him.

Within six months of meeting, they were walking down the aisle. No, it wasn't a shot gun wedding, and yes, they are still together, for 22 years, actually. Don't think that two months is a rush. If she's talking to you about it, so obviously loves you.

However, if you're that bothered by it, simply let her know. The next time she brings it up, just tell he that you haven't put too much thought into it yet. Without hurting her feelings, of course.

[Anonymous]

I think it's just a girl thing. It's not something I would actually come out and talk about after two months because I know how guys are about that kind of stuff. However, it's just something we like to play out in our head. Dream about. Also, I personally would never date someone if there wasn't some potential of it turning into marriage somewhere LONG down the road. I don't believe in wasting anyone's time and think it's only the right way to do it. So don't freak out, maybe calmly explain to her that you really aren't anywhere near thinking about marriage yet. Chances are she will agree and tell you it was just something that she was pondering. :)

[gonaners16]

I definitely agree with the dating guys that have potential for marriage thing =)

[cavs4life]

I know you are asking the ladies but in my opinion, if this happened to me I'd be really freaked out. especially only 2 months into the relationship... that's scary =/ good luck

[dreamtime]

Its overwhelming but girls just think about this... A LOT.

Seems like she's serious and sees this going somewhere concidering she wants her brother to be your best man.

[HerBeautifulBoy]

I agree but it's a bit fast to start telling her boyfriend about it :P surely she knows that would scare the sh*t out the poor guy! :P

[dreamtime]

Ofcource its fast, I'm just saying its normal and that this happens all the time.

Guys better get used to it.

[sheweet]

Dude.

If the girl talks about marriage often, ask her : is that what you're looking for? Marriage? And see what her response is. If she eventually wants to get married again, then that is what she wants and you either accept it and see the possibility of marrying her, or move on. Give it a chance. Marriage is so a joke these days but why not make it different for you? You could be so happy.

[Asker]

Side note: She was never married, just engaged.

[sheweet]

Aw, see! She definitely dreams of it. You should be happy. A woman that's been ditched by a man for her marriage will have so many incredible insecurities about it. If she's talking about it with you, she must really trust you, really like you, really think you're a good candidate. After all you accepted her when she was hurt and a single mom. She doesn't want to scare you away, but she wants to see the stuff you're made of.

[spike241]

I've had the jokey 'who would we have at our wedding' talk recently but then I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 and a half years. 2 months in is way too soon to be thinking about marriage!

I'd been with my boyfriend a couple of months when my friend drunkenly asked if I'd ever marry him. Shortly before that my brother asked my mum if I was getting engaged, at her engagement party. I was pretty scared!

[Asker]

Yeah, her attitude was less joking, and more DREAMING, as it were.

[Samisrad]

Yeah, that sounds like she sees it more seriously.

I mean unless she was just joking. I mean us girls love to watch shows like Bridezillas and Say Yes To The Dress and imagine our dream wedding, but if she is asking about the wedding party I would say she's getting in pretty deep lol.

But hey, on the bright side if must mean she really really likess you! You must be doing something right! Lol

[Asker]

Yeah. I think the main reason she still has marriage on her mind is her and her ex were engaged, and he dumped her to go marry another woman. She was also recently in her brother's wedding as well.

It's funny how she was the one being so defensive about taking things slow, and is now the one who's talking about marriage. If I didn't like her so much (I think I might even love her), then I'd probably have the attitude of the other guys and want to run.

[Brando]

My question is: Do girls really start thinking about weddings at a real young age?

[Asker]

My brother's ex, who was 18 at the time, broke up with him, only to get married to another guy a months and a half later and become pregnant with his kid. Maybe it's just where I live, but in the last year, there have been 7-8 marriages that I know of, 3 were friends of mine, my brothers ex, and like 3-4 people at my job got married this year. It's spreading like a fever. >.>

[Samisrad]

Yes girls dream about their weddings from the time they are old enough to not think guys have cooties! Haha

[sheweet]

That's what I don't get about guys. You sleep with a girl, you od everything you would do with a girl, before marriage. As soon as marriage comes into play, you get upset. Or commtiment? You don't like it. WHY! WHY DONT YOU WANNA GET MARRIED?

[funnyjoke]

Why would you want to get married? You see what it does to people. They get fat, lazy, and complacent... it's likely to end in an expensive divorce in any case.

[famksantiago]

I've done that to my boyfriend a month into the relationship and all. Mind you not to the extent that your girlfriend has but we had talked about our options. I believe talking about it is good especially when the man doesn't want to marry the woman just have her move in.

[Anonymous]

if she mentione dher brother being there on your side of the wedding party, then she is thinking the relationship is serious and potential for long term. if she was just talking in general. like, I want these people in my wedding party, and not really being specific about the groom or his side, then it wouldn't really mean anything. other than that she wants to be married at some point to someone.

[gfe0001]

I wouldn't take it seriously I think talking about weddings dresses etc. is just something fun to talk about. to be honest your irrelevant to the scene its more of a girl thing, you shouldn't be worried about it being serious.

[Hughman]

Oh god, run. You have a bridezilla on your hands (unless your a good Christian/Mormon/Muslim boy and actually want to get married quickly)

[SmoothBlue17]

Whoa.. that is freaky scary!

I would head for the hills and don't look back

[Anonymous]

Run, run away as fast as you can and don't look back.

[rg727]

Personally 2 months is a little too soon but who knows.. everyone is different. As long as it doesn't bother you, who cares?

[Thiezz]

I would FLEEEEE. That chick is scary :D

[Asker]

No I'll tell you scary. My best friend had a girlfriend one time who said while rubbing her stomach "On day your babies are going to be in there." THATS scary. I like this girl a lot, so I can let her eccentric comments slide as long as she doesn't go too far with them.

[Thiezz]

Hehe, a friend of mine recently joked that he pricked holes in his condoms. Then he looked at his crotch and said "Swim, little ones, swim!". The look on his girlfriend's face was priceless.

[SmoothBlue17]

Lmao.. xD

[HerBeautifulBoy]

ROFL XD

[funnyjoke]

She's going in for the kill... evasive maneuvers!