Why do girls try to make guys they like jealous?

[Anonymous]

Why do girls try to make guys they like jealous by flirting with other guys/girls in front of them or going out with other guys/girls, etc? Sometimes I find that when girls I like do that, I'm not sure whether they like me or the people they are flirting with.

[Tymeflies]

Check her body language during the moment she is trying to make you jealous. Does she have your attention and is her body facing you (feet pointed toward you and making some attempts at eye contact with you from time to time)? It can be many things: (the list goes on - here are a few things)

- used to gauge your interest if she checks back with you
- to show you she is not interested if she ignores you
- she may like this person
- you flirted with someone else
- someone else flirted with them and they just reacted in a similar manner
- she's just being nice/friendly (you misinterpreted because you like her)
- naturally flirtatious
- keeping her options open and doesn't want to come off as clingy (girls talk a lot and if they see someone always around a nother person, it is assumed that there is an attraction going on)
- trying to be more interactive with others
- following the status quo of what guys assume girls are like if girls don't talk to them (don't want to be labeled as weird, shy, cold, distant, etc.)

So, if it is an isolated incident, don't read too much into it. I've had a girl flirt with someone else in front of me before but her feet was pointed toward me and she looked at me occasionally. Well, turns out earlier sometime (like a week or so back) she saw me talking to another girl (nothing flirtatious, old friend of mine I haven't seen for a while). She saw us and came by and sat down next to me. She joined the conversation (she didn't talk, she just sort of sat there and listened). I tried to include her but she just sort of sat there and listened. There were plenty of people around and other tables open.

So far, the best indicator are other girls, especially if they see the both of you together and make comments or giggle or whatever.

Jealousy sucks but it is the quickest indicator - like finding out how hot the stove is by checking it with your hand. I think...

Again, it could be anything. Good luck.

[Nutz76]

Lots of reasons. She could be any of the following and then some.

Meanspirited

Low Self-esteem / validation seeking

Wants to see what kind of reaction you'll have -- are you a pushover, will you freak out, etc

Not interested and wants to drive you off

[Asker]

Thanks for your input. I'm still not quite sure what the deal is with her - I know she has had low self-esteem. I don't think she's mean-spirited, but I know she has the validation-seeking problem. I will think about the others and watch for signs of them but can't quite say yet. Thanks again!

[Nutz76]

The validation seeking is really common with women. It gets even worse if they were good looking when they were younger and coasted through life on their looks and now are getting to their late 20s and early 30s and realize things are changing for the worse in that dept.

[Asker]

Yeah, I know what you mean

[HaggardDiva]

I don't do that. Jealousy is a pointless emotion. Making someone feel jealous, which is really feeling hurt, is wrong. Why would you want to hurt someone you like? Even if you end up together he will remember how he felt when you made him jealous at the begin and there may be hard feelings there. Same way for guys that do it to girls. And also, feeling jealous in general, what does it really do? Either your other is or isn't cheating on you. Or you can or can't have something you want, etc, for all the things people may get jealous over. But bottom line you can't change it by feeling jealous. I don't get jealous often or easily, and I never try to make others jealous, especially people I care about.

[Asker]

That's a very good perspective. Yeah, I never realized it, but you are right - it does just hurt the person. It seems very immature or something. Thanks for your comments!

[SuperFlanker]

I find it astounding sometimes that seemingly Intelligent and level-headed girls would even stoop down to play games...the only thing I can think of is that she may have some insecurity BUT I wouldn't understand how she could be insecure if a girl is so smart and successful in things she does.

[Asker]

Maybe she feels insecure because she's not sure of how the guy feels about her or something. She may be smart & successful, but maybe being around somebody you really like & aren't sure whether they like you or not throws people off. That would be my guess.

[LoveDoctor]

I used to do it a lot and sometimes occasionally, but it's for three real reasons:

1) To play hard to get, and to let him know that other men pursue me.

2) To test him, and see what he does.

3) To find out if he's interested in me.

AND,

sometimes, when my current guy ignores me, I talk to other men, but is only to catch HIS attention and to make him jealous. And NO, I'm never interested in the guy or the stranger I talk to.

Women love attention, sometimes we do things to piss men off. but in reality we do these things because we love our men. ;)
Also see: Why do guys try to make girls jealous

[SuperFlanker]

That is exactly what I was curious about...if that girl who is making the guy in question jealous has any interest in the OTHER guys she flirts with.... And yes, that does worry the guy because he does not know where he sits with her... THAT SAID... does the girl STILL give some kind of subtle hints of 'interest' to the guy she's trying to make jealous??

[LoveDoctor]

Of course we do! But is tricky! We tend to over exaggerate our gestures, our laugh, hand movement AND we talk and flirt with everything or anything around us! EVEN GIRLS! HA!

[SuperFlanker]

Oh yea... when you are 'testing' him....what reactions do you look out for? This seems like an interesting 'evaluation' of sorts.

[Asker]

Thanks for sharing that info, Love Doctor. I think the stuff you have said really brings some things to light for a lot of us "unsuspecting" guys! ha ha :) Thanks!

[LoveDoctor]

Your welcome! Glad to help! ;)

[Asker]

:)

[Drewsef93]

That's extremely petty and immature, if you love someone you dont try and hurt them. All this does is alienate a d cause bitterness towards the person you claim to care for. It's what little girls do and older women are straight to the point, serious and will tell you straight up how they feel.

[Saville_Row]

What do you recommend to do? I had this one experience when I was with some guys having fun and I would realize my crush never let his eyes off me. He looked nervous I was talking so much and being funny with others. Then somehow he got the courage and walked in and grabbed my attention. I left the other guys and just went with him. He seemed happy.

Did I do the right thing? Did he get the message that I like him about others? And most important, did he find himself secure at a point he does not need to make effort anymore?

[LoveMaeRae]

I would think for a couple of reasons

1. It's a test to see how far you're willing to go to fight for your woman

2. It's reassurance to them that you want them and only them

3. It's their way of gauging your level of interest.

Stupid yes, but hey neither sex is perfect.

[Asker]

Yeah, I totally understand - thanks!

[DragonLord]

ok then please tell me this miss how she feels if she lost him forever and she never see him or his face ever again if she does this to me I would leave her and never speak to her never help her unless I have to other then that how she feels about that

[jessieray]

well for me its kinda dumb making a guy jealous especially if you like him

but I guess sometimes the girl just wants to feel like you care about her

[Asker]

Yeah, I understand

[SuperFlanker]

So that's the ticket... she is trying to confirm that the guy is truly interested and that he cares for her? Basically this is to offset her insecurities about whether he likes her or not.

[jessieray]

Basically yeah I mean that why I would do it ???

but then again y do guys do it as well ???

[obscene]

If a girl tried to make me jealous, she'd just make me leave

don't need to play stupid games

It only hurts the guy (or the girl, if he's doing it to her, which can happen)

[Asker]

That's pretty much how I'm starting to feel with this girl...

[rocksme]

It's done both ways. It's not only girls who do that. Guys do it too and it's human nature to be jealous and to want what you can't have.

[Asker]

Thanks for your input! Yeah, I'm sure that's true! Thanks again! :)

[hazeleyes91]

i have done that before, but I really don't know the reason behind it. therefore I'm sure there isn't a point to me doing that again.

[Asker]

I'm sure we may have all done it but not realized it or something, so don't feel too badly about it or anything. I think like Love Doctor said, it's probably just human nature to do whatever we can to create attraction in the other person or something.

[LadyFlash]

Pure bitchiness. There are many girls like that who feel like they have to tease someone they like to feel wanted more.

Tell her you feel jealous. maybe it will make her happy.

[Asker]

Yeah, I already told her. I don't think she's like that too much though. I do think she has low self-esteem however. Thanks for your comments.

[Anonymous]

Lots of reasons varying from needing of lots of validation to teying to push you to up your game.

[Anonymous]

They hate themselves.