My coworker won't socialize with me!?

[obligations]

I've been working at this one job for 2 1/2 months. And I've noticed this one male coworker doesn't really talk to me.even when I was new.I could be working on a project with someone else and he'll come over and talk to that person only.and if he did talk to me it was about work stuff which was hardly ever also. It wasn't until a recent work staff development trip did we start talking more.but it's only about work projects and even then it's still little. But then right now he started socializing with this new employee who's only been here less than 2 weeks and it's like what gives?!

[imconfused17]

I don't think you should be bothered by a male co-worker not socializing with you. There are numerous of reason why he would not socialize with you - it could be you two have different interest and he feels like there would be nothing to talk about or he could be jealous of you. Maybe you are better than him in doing your projects.

I've worked in several companies and I've encountered colleagues not being "warm" to new employees. There are times that it just take a while to break the ice and sometimes you may need be the one initiating conversations. Make the topic about them and not about you. You will notice people enjoy talking about themselves - their interests and hobbies.

Also, ask yourself this - why is it so important for your co-worker to socialize with you? I think what is more important is you two can finish projects together as a team - there is nothing wrong keeping things entirely business.

[obligations]

He talks to everyone but me. hell he just met an employee 2 weeks ago and he's already having lunch with her.

[imconfused17]

Don't let it bother you - so what if he talks to everyone other than you?!? are you missing out an important deal in your life?

[gravygirl]

I don't think you'll do this, but I think you'd be better off to just let it drop. Life gets a lot easier when you realize that not everyone is going to like you.

Unless of course you have a crush on him, in which case I understand completely.

[Shlei3]

Some people get along better with others. Unfortunately not everyone is going to like you. Who knows what reason he has.but you could always come up and talk to him (initiate the conversation).

[obligations]

I would have but I now notice that he has never came up to me and socialized not even when I was brand new (when he didn't know how I am personality wise)...didn't even introduce himself either but he did with this recent employee and its' like what the heck.

[Shlei3]

Well I would try and talk to him. Get to know him.

[obligations]

I am trying to but he's making it really ahrd when he doesn't even try and socialize.

[Shlei3]

That's the only thing you can do. You put your part in by initiating. If he doesn't follow through then he's the one missing out.

[obligations]

Yep I agree...ill keep trying even if I have to do all the work.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

Just forget him, who cares. Life is too short to worry about other people and their problems. And rest assured, whatever the issue is it's his and not yours.

[Anonymous]

I have the same problem. he problem doesn't like the way you look, is racist or thinks your competition, he could also find you intimidating. I'm ugly and that's why my co-worker never talks to me.