“Women instinctively nurture, men instinctively protect.” Agree or disagree?

Question

I just answered someone’s q with this, and wanted to know your opinion on it!

BlueCoyote · Accepted Answer

I generally become VERY skeptical when I hear statements that begin with "men do x" or "women do y". The same goes for races or nationalities or age segments or other social groups.
I find such statements painfully generalizing. I'm sure many men like to protect... but is it a majority? And how would we even go about measuring this? What actions do we define as "nurturing" or "protecting" or "neither"? And what if I enjoy doing BOTH of them depending on my mood and my overall situation?

Take me. I like the feeling of "protecting" my wife but it's not like I ever get the chance to actually do it. We live in one of the safest, most peaceful nations in the world. It's normal for 5-year old kids to walk to Kindergarten by themselves and for young women to walk home alone at night. What am going to protect my wife of? Maybe the occasional spider on our living room wall? Except she actually doesn't mind killing them. All the things that could in fact pose a danger to my girl are things she has to take care of herself. Say, she might have an accident with her bicycle but that's surely not something I can protect her from. Nor am I sure if I should even try. I mean... she's an adult and she has to decide for herself what risks she wants to take. I'm not her nanny and I'm sure she wouldn't want me to be that way.
On the other hand, my wife has been sick for the past few days and I helped her with things. I brewed tea for her, cooked for her... small stuff. Does that make me less of a man? And if so, why should I even care?

Generally speaking, I feel very uncomfortable about these "men do this, women do that"-claims. I frankly think they are extremely goofy. To me, they come across like a really, really desperate way of pressing men and women into some kind of old-fashioned gender roles.

I believe we shouldn't even think of people's gender so much. You have a vagina. I have a penis. So what. That means literally nothing. There are women who like to dress like a princess and watch romantic comedies. And there are women who are soldiers or FBI agents or construction workers.

I wish people would simply approach other people as "humans", rather than making all kinds of prejudiced judgments based on their genitals. That's what I try to do on a daily basis. I meet someone, I listen to what they say, I try to understand who they are and how they tick and based on this I build myself an image of them. I believe that's a way of showing true interest in other humans.

ladsin · Accepted Answer

Try to hurt a woman's child and see if she's very nurturing.

coralee · Accepted Answer

People don't fall into neat little categories like that. I know some pretty nurturing men and know many women who would do absolutely anything to protect their children. I think nurturing is a part of protecting and protecting is a part of nurturing. If a person is a good parent they are going to protect and nurture their children regardless of meaningless gender roles. I don't know anyone who I would consider a decent person whose first instinct isn't to protect a child.

ShrewdRose · Accepted Answer

I this comes down to an individual level rather than something that can be widely generalised. I'm not very nurturing at all, I have no idea how to deal with Children nor have any desire to be a Mother and to stay in a house all day cleaning and looking after others, I enjoy having a career. That's not to say I criticise any women who do though, raising Children is a job in its self, it's just not for me.

HidingMyHeart · Accepted Answer

I can agree with that lol, It was just this morning that I noticed a couple small burns on my boyfriends face from his being splashed with mud during his night shift at the mill and instinctively I didn't hesitate to put some aloe vera ointment on him. I never thought of myself to be the nurturing type, I have always been so reserved but he and my kitties bring that side of me out

MzAsh · Answer

I’m as protective as I am nurturing.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Yes, men protect and that can be shown quite conclusively in the various studies on the topic. Same with nurturing for women. However just because men protect does not mean they do not nurture, we nurture differently then women do but its still nurturing. We prepare children for hardships, nurturing their risk taking abilities etc (this is why rough play is vital to a child's development, something they get almost exclusively from their fathers (or older males like uncles or brothers)). If you want you can think of it as women focus on the inner self, and males focus on the outer, women on personal feelings and well beings, males on ability and perserverance.

jpmoore89 · Answer

Agree because its how we are built. Its ok to have differences. Both are important and the counterpart of the other. There is no "one is better" or him vs. her. Now both can do similar things and should at times but women and men naturally have a built in natural set of skills which is part of the gender. Being a guy, I'm thankful every day for the female gender because they add to life the other half of whats great and beautiful and yes, they are naturally nurturing and do a fine job at it if I must say.

Isopsis · Answer

True... partially... Women DO instinctively nurture and men DO instinctively protect. But men also have nurturing instincts and women have protecting instincts.
Gender roles or not, we need each other. Men protect AND nuture women while women nuture AND protect men. Both sexes nurturing and protecting the children and youth.
Granted our ways of protecting and nurturing might be different between the sexes, but both groups have both qualities hardwired into their systems. It isn't, at least to me, about gender roles or stereotypes reversing or "softening" men up etc. It's simply that, with all this technology and comfort we live in, we have more chances to see the less "traditional" side of things, even though it's always been there.

CharlieUnicorn · Answer

Agree. if we are looking at macro population (1000 people or more).
If you're born with male sex, you typically innately have more masculine traits to go with (and vice versa).

That said, there's more differences between one man and a woman as individuals than their gender difference, which is why we shouldn't assume stuff about people we don't know or push anyone into an expected role.

We should as a society allow people to excel in what they can to contribute, irregardless of gender, but to expect 50/50 outcomes in life choices when free will is allowed is incredibly naive.
(trying to force these outcomes through discriminatory legislation is neo-marxist tyranny)

Fap_pa_ap_pap_paper · Answer

I think men and women are both. I see many men and women who conform to this state ment but also see many men look after their partners and children. I also belive the same is true for women they will protect their man if he needs it and will protect her children constantly.

natrickk · Answer

I'd say it's a little closer to: mother's instinctively nurture, and father's instinctively protect. In fact, both genders do both when they become parents.
I've found that the average man or woman that isn't a parent couldn't care less about either of those things.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not that men don't nurture, or that women don't protect. It's that men seem to more naturally take the lead in protection, and women seem to more naturally take the lead in nurturing. Of course, there are all kinds of variations. Biologically, men are larger and stronger, so they are more able to protect in some situations, and women breast feed, and it easily adapts to nurturing.

vannanas · Answer

just think of the purely biological reasoning. men were the hunters and the women were foragers... hunting usually happens farther away from the tribe... so i guess women were generally more inclined to nurture and men to protect, this also appears in the biological difference in the genders, seen as men are more prone to sharp movements and women more prone to softer movement. soooo, biologacally i guess it makes sense

Jmcmanning · Answer

I disagree. As a mom I am both nurturing and protecter of my child and SO. I don't want anything to happen to my family and friends and will do anything to take care - regardless of which method I need. I have known many males who carry both traits as well. think males tend to be known for the protector because of their strength and mental strength.

WalterBlack · Answer

Men and women both nurture and protect. Yes, I think nurturing is a slightly more prominent trait in women and protecting is slightly more prominent trait in men. But, i think it benefits the survival of the species for men and women to be instinctively capable of both.

Jayden01 · Answer

This statement is not true as the roles of the genders is socialised into us through our Society's culture. If this was true then tribes like the Amazonian's where women are the protectors and men nurture would not exist

pooper89 · Answer

That's a sweeping generalization but I think enough individuals fall into those categories that you could say it's generally true.
The instinct to protect though, isn't necessarily gender specific. Across the entire animal kingdom, most species' females will fiercely protect their young if provoked in the slightest. While males protect their harem, almost all males are typically more involved in dominance quarrels on a regular basis.

NearlyNapping · Answer

I agree. I think it's biology (i. e. instinctive and natural). It's just part of the natural world and applies to many species of animals.

For some reason humans think they are the exceptions in the natural world, and that somehow they get to pick and choose what they are. They are not the exceptions and don't get to pick and choose.

Guanfei · Answer

We can do both, but our instinct dictate that males protect, and females nurture, and it is our natural role.
But humans are past their natural roles. We went beyond and changed some of our behaviors to fit a more evolved and social society. Which doesn't mean our instinct doesn't play a role here, it's still there, just weaker.

Porcelaine · Answer

There's no change in gender roles. There not one gender only nurturing or only protecting. A lot of them disagree because if you care about someone you will both be nurturing and protective of them, no matter what gender.

sadkat · Answer

you'd be surprised how many woman lack the nurturing characteristic and how little men I've met who are protective. I actually had to teach my man to be protective and defensive of me sadly.

Astoriana · Answer

Everyone is capable of both behaviour. We are unfortunately living in a society that punishes the opposite behaviour from our assigned gender roles.

VIVANT · Answer

Protecting is an intrinsic part of nurturing. Nurturing covers everything. And all sex are capable of it.

9teen · Answer

If you look both at the biological and the psychological aspect, it's not a statement, it's a fact.

MintyWolf · Answer

Evolution. Men protect women who nurture children. Easy

teaforbooks · Answer

True for me sometimes Sometimes I ask myself what is it that I really crave, and the answer comes back to nurturing. I am just to lazy to do it.

omegofthepack · Answer

I am very nurturing in nature but I know I can be very protective also especially of animals kids and the people I love like a mother bear

Coconut_Man · Answer

Generally speaking this is true and it's part of human nature.  It's not a "role" if it happens instinctively.

Daltron · Answer

Both will protect, both will nurture. However men will be more likely to show the harsh reality while women are more likely to shelter.

flowersfornaomi · Answer

I believe that from a purely biological view it's true, but we've developed so much that we're not simply defined by our sex.

Bizmarkie · Answer

I grew up with just my mother and she was just as defensive over me as she was nurturing while I see how that might the case in most instances situation can change things easily

anon08 · Answer

Disagree, those are social constructs. You do it because thats what your mom/dad did.

VonDamme · Answer

I don't see how protecting isn't a nurturing act...

BipBipLeddus · Answer

I think there is of course exceptions to every rule, but I agree

Goochbreaker · Answer

HOW CAN SO MANY PEOPLE DISAGREE? This is the most obviously true statement I've ever read. Just look at overwatch, 90% of girls become mercy mains LOL

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

On average. And they don’t necessarily go into one or the other 100% So it’s too much of a generalization to make meaningful decisions with. Take people as they come.

Philyouup · Answer

Its a little to simplified, as far as "traditional" gender roles go, but yeah, these are rolls, rather than instinctual instructions.

Strawberrie · Answer

Agree, biologically we're programmed to do that, but that doesn't mean that these are set roles. Women can be protective just as men can be nurturing.

lilaqua · Answer

I mean I'm neither so I don't know what that means. If anything I'm probably a protector.

Sambivalent · Answer

I instinctively have bowel movements too, I'm not sure what this question is asking.

MrMysteryMan · Answer

I think women are born to be nurturers. Even when they think they aren't.

Anonymous · Answer

I've seen shitty mothers just as often as I've seen shitty fathers. Social norms aren't the same as personal standards and values fluctuate from person to person, not gender to gender.

Laggy · Answer

Let me put on a training pants, grow my hair and put a hoodie on. Next let me creepily approach a kid near the mother. You'll find out how the protective instinct of a mother is awakened

inmensus · Answer

Disagree. But I'm not surprised most people agree since most of us were introduced to those stereotypes and taught to be that way since we were little.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

Yes and no. Depends on the people and the dynamic. Women tend to nurture, but there are a lot of men out there that do that too.. I think the balance is getting towards equal.

cherryphi82 · Answer

Disagree. As a mother, I instinctively protect my young.

Anonymous · Answer

I've seen plenty of men beat their wives and plenty of women beat their children so the real question is why r people so screwed up

KatherineJ · Answer

That brings up the discussion of “Nature versus nurture”. Speaking in general terms, boys and girls are raised differently.

Largh · Answer

Yeah there are girls who have screwed me over and I would never want to date again, but I still care and want to protect her.

Anonymous · Answer

Women instinctively protect too. So disagree. Men don't protect instinctively. Men compete for nothing instinctively.

MrMilti · Answer

Disagree. I can't speak on the behalf of all men, but I myself am more of a nurturing kind.

VonxCrane · Answer

There's many women who do follow through on nurturing and protecting but there's many who don't. It's not nature, it's nuture. They can protect or abuse, it's how they're raised and treated or how they want to treat others. So I agree with BlueCoyote

trisa0918 · Answer

Disagree. Both nurture. And both protect. With of course many exceptions.

SuccessfulHornDog · Answer

Yes. Overall that's true. Individually people may vary

beebella · Answer

I think both can be instinctively nurturing and protective at times.

Anonymous · Answer

Both sexes have both. But men are probably a touch more protective and women a touch more nurturing.

ryancg · Answer

I think any responsible adult should be capable of both, regardless of their gender.

Wollu · Answer

Sorry. Never heard such a rubbish before. Women nurture nothing. It’s a deal. You will understand later. After the doll house dreams are over.

thinker_ · Answer

I would say women emotional and men practical (general relationship, not catering complete set)

Harry1K · Answer

Both men and women are nurturing and protective in their own way.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree, but I haven't met a man who has protected me yet... Times have changed.

isdisusernametaken · Answer

Disagree. There are cultures where women protect. This is a western culture thing

AllThatSweetJazz · Answer

On average. And they don’t necessarily go into one or the other 100% So it’s too much of a generalization to make meaningful decisions with. Take people as they come.

LegateLanius · Answer

Depends on the person. My mother wasn't there the majority of my life. My father had to do both.

“Women instinctively nurture, men instinctively protect.” Agree or disagree?

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