Let's start with making sure that we're both on the same page when it comes to understanding what toxic masculinity is the belief that if men are not taught to embody the following traits/behaviours from a young age, they will be seen as weak and undesirable:
-suppressing or masking emotions
-maintaining an appearance of 'hardness', if you will (stoicism)
-using violence or other physical means as an indicator of power ('tough-guy' behaviour)
Alright, so now that we're both on the same page, why is it a myth that believing the above mentioned traits or behaviours are toxic? Because believing that a guy can only be a 'real man' if he has no emotions or if he does, he should express them in destructive manners, is basically a large reason as to why men are overrepresented in prisons. Why men are the primary suspects when when there are public shootings or situations of domestic abuse. Why men are overrepresented by being up to 4x more likely to succeed at committing suicide.
Whether or not I can convince you is going to depend on what you call "toxic masculinity", and whether you're willing to see my definition of that term as valid.
Since you dont believe "Toxic masculinity" exists, lets just leave the term behind and I'll tell you a few general ideas and actions that I find repulsive.
1. *The idea that men were ordained by god to be the leaders of households and societies* I've been around and known many men in my life, many of them were stupid, afraid of commitment, had uncontrollable tempers, wouldn't listen to anyone elses suggestions, etc. There's nothing about a penis that makes someone a good pick for a leader. Its a fleshy sperm cannon, not a PhD. Some men are amazing leaders, so are some women. Thinking that the qualities required for effective leadership are tied to gender is an untrue and counterproductive belief.
2. *letting kids bully and fight eachother because "boys will be boys"* there's a difference between preparing and helping a child handle mean comments or physical threats they will undoubtedly face in this world, and blatantly allowing it to happen in front of you and doing nothing. The former is about teaching kids confidence and self defence, the latter only teaches them about lazy parenting and permissive authorities.
I dont know how much room im allowed so I'll stop there, but do you see how people might find these things "toxic"? counterproductive, harmful, bad, not cool... toxic. Its just a synonym. Now as to why "masculinity" is paired with it, thats because its very often men that we see men agreeing with these bad ideas. Maybe it technically shouldn't be called "toxic masculinity" but these are real cultural problems that have earned that title colloquially.
Anything I've said so far make sense?
I disagree. I think the way social justice activists and feminists portray it is wrong, but that doesn't remove the fact that something like toxic masculinity exists.
Essentially a mans drive is rather strong. Thus as boys we need to learn how to valve these drives productively. For example being competitive is a good thing in general as it brought us forward as a society. But if it becomes obsessive or turns into using unfair methods, then it becomes a problem. Aggressiveness is a good thing, since it's one of the strongest drives that gets us moving. But if not learned how to valve properly it can turn into violence.
So masculinity (just like femininity) can become toxic. But not all masculinity is toxic like those activists try to paint it. Not to mention by removing proper male role models and making boys behave like girls, they create a situation where toxic masculinity increases.
Definition of Toxic Masculinity:
Toxic masculinity is used to describe the negative aspects of exaggerated masculine traits as it pertains to society or the individuals themselves.
The term was first developed by mens rights activists to try explain some of the issues men have with stereotyping and has later been accepted in general academic circles including in groups like feminism.
A good example of toxic masculinity is how some people believe men can't be raped by women because the men have a stereotype of always wanting sex making it consensual rather than forced. Masculinity has the stereotype of desiring sex and anyone who rejects sex would thus be "unmanly" hence the concept of masculinity in this regard is harmful to actual men and as such "toxic".
Opinion
19Opinion
I agree, it’s just an imaginary boogeyman.
By the way, Steven Crowder is awesome.
Masculinity itself isn’t toxic. How some people use masculinity can be and sometimes is.
“Toxic masculinity” is b. s. and I hate it. If a woman doesn’t want masculinity then just date women 🤷🏻♀️ But they shouldn’t - when I say “they” I mean anybody - shouldn’t try to make men more like them (feminine). And what I hate is when the men give into it! Stand up and tell those bitches off and that you’re a man and if she doesn’t like it then she can be a lesbian. Sorry for my language, but the men who give up their masculinity for this mess are really messing themselves up. Some people appreciate masculinity.
Toxic masculinity is when a man is held to a certain expectation that he must be aggressive, violent, dirty, strong, and horny to be a real man. It negatively effects how women react to men (assuming they're always trying to get in their pants, assuming they aren't safe people, assuming they have less emotion, etc.) And how men treat other men (being called gay/ a child/ a woman for not meeting expectations of being a man) Toxic masculinity is not manhood, it's the reactions and expectations of manhood that negatively impact men.
Whether it's a bad thing to you or not, it exists.
Its an intentional conflation designed to semantically entangle the two core ideas. There is toxic behavior and there's healthy behavior. There's masculine and feminine behavior. By labeling a set of behaviors as "toxic masculinity", you semantically link toxic and masculine. Of course, as a byproduct the mind links healthy and feminine together.
Once you catch on to this tactic, you see it everywhere, especially in the political sphere. Its a mental trap designed to control you.
I believe there are attitudes and personality traits deemed toxic in both sexes. Some happen to be masculine behaviors and some happen to be feminine behaviors plain and simple.
I think people got that confused with behavior, masculinity or femininity isn't toxic- it's people's behavior and the way they respond to certain things that can be toxic. Yes, men are more or can be more aggressive, violent due to testosterone but having that doesn't make every man in society bad.
if you define "toxic masculinity" as "the male tendency to solve conflicts with violence and aggression", then it's not a myth. that's why men perform better in the economy and also why there are more men in prison... that is statistically evident and can't be argued. however it's still very dangerous, problematic and also invalid to take statistical occurances and project that on the individual and blame an individual for "toxic masculinity".
Disagree. Basically toxic masculinity is the idea that you have to fit a certain mold to be considered “manly” and those who do not fit that mold are typically looked down upon and treated poorly in society and other men in general.
In my opinion it is feminazi BS, to help with her choice of being lesbian.
There is a lot of men who don't know how to behave with women, I would agree wit that, but in that case she needs to choose men who behaves in proper manner, not just grab first one in a street an judge every man with his example and become lesbian or maybe she just wants excuse...
There is no such thing as "debate," friend. There is "conversation." You have already failed if you are approaching the subject with the idea that there is winning and losing, rather than an even exchange of information that may open your mind.
I think it is just a catch-all phrase that means a grumpy guy who is used to being in charge? I really haven't heard that phrase all that much.
If toxic masculinity exists then so does toxic femininity. Or , neither exists and there are just toxic people.
This is just one of those stupid sjw words created to attack men.
I think what is perceived as being toxic is just men trying to prepare other men for the harsh realities of life.
There. All that is needed to be said to make my point.
The concept of masculinity itself isn’t toxic. However if you don’t exercise masculine behaviors in moderation by showing good self-discipline, it certainly can be.
Some people can exhibit toxic behaviour including men and some of it may be related to their view of masculinity. So yes. But does it exist in the form that many people say? Sometimes... Does that mean all masculinity is toxic... No
There is no toxic masculinity, but there is toxic feminism
Toxic masculinity is real - stop being an offended snowflake and accept the label you're given
To start, do men and women have equal opportunities?
